Do you see the value of it for your partner? What Do You Tell Your Children? My kids are asking: Did I do something wrong? Do you still love each other? What's wrong with Dad? Talking with your children about sexually addictive behavior is undoubtedly a situation that no parent wants to face. Parents seldom want to share their secrets, their pain, or their betrayal with their children. Short-Chain Fatty Acids Another important concept to note is that when bacteria break down food, they release short-chain fatty acids (SCFA). Three main SCFAs are butyrate, acetate, and propionate. We know that SCFAs are associated with decreased inflammation and are antineoplastic (anticancer causing). In the study with Africans and African Americans noted in the previous section, the Africans produced a higher number of SCFAs, which then decreased as they shifted to eating the diet lower in fiber and higher in meat! Plant-based foods were associated with higher numbers of SCFAs. Metabolites of the Gut Bugs There are many metabolites (substances needed for metabolism or created during metabolism) that are produced by bacteria in the gut. One of those metabolites is trimethylamine N-oxide (TMAO), which is produced when foods that are high in phosphatidylcholine are ingested. The main sources of phosphatidylcholine are eggs, liver, beef, and pork. He's not an arsen, a convict or a serious criminal of any kind. He's just a man who has thoroughly and completely settled for no more than what's easily available to him.

In this article, he gets into quite a pickle. He's become tangled in a murder case where a friendly aquaintance of his, Marlene, gets killed. The police have come over to his place and asked him various questions about his whereabouts on the night of the murder. He's not giving a very good impression to the police, though, because he sleeps in a barren apartment with a mattress filled with salt shakers. It's never explained why he steals salt shakers, but when cops find you hungover out of your mind, on a mattress filled with salt and you're a suspect for murder? Not great odds for Shane. He's also just recently been fired from a temp job at an insurance company. The woman he's been sleeping with, Gwen, introduced him to the job and gave him a recommendation to work there. You don't want your children to suffer; Yet all members of a family are affected by the trauma of sexual betrayal. Healthy communication and recovery practices make it possible to clear up any confusion your children experience and to create a greater sense of emotional safety. It isn't just about family; They are ruthlessly bombarded with sexual messages through the media, television, music, and the internet. Sex represents power and desirability. Consequently, good enough parenting involves not only healthy modeling of sexual expression but discussing sexual issues with children earlier than in generations past. But when sexual addiction operates within a family, the need for dialogue about sexuality emerges even sooner and more urgently than parents would usually choose. Kids often sense things aren't right at home. Disclosure to children helps them to understand why. When these types of food are ingested, they are processed in the gut and the metabolites trimethylamine and TMAO are formed. In a study done at the Cleveland Clinic, researchers found that elevated levels of TMAO were associated with increased risk of major adverse cardiovascular events.

The best part of the study to us was that the researchers also gave meat to vegetarians and vegans, and after ingestion of the food, they did not have the same increase in TMAO as the omnivores. Is this because the gut bugs in vegetarians and vegans are different from meat eaters, and, therefore, they had a different response? Much to consider here. Another metabolite produced in the gut is lipopolysaccharide (LPS), another by-product of bacterial processing. The gut bacteria make LPS in response to a high-fat diet, which then triggers a leaky gut (more on leaky gut on articles 41-45). Antibiotics that decrease bacterial overgrowth also decrease levels of LPS. Similarly, certain prebiotics (foods for gut flora) and probiotics (actual bugs that come from food or supplements) also decrease LPS. In a study of 7,000 people with diabetes, it was found that their levels of LPS were higher than in nondiabetic individuals. But, for the next several months, Shane has spent his days at the office sleeping on the toilet, drunk out of his mind and internally criticizing any aspect of the corporate world. I'll let Shane describe to you his daily routine at the office. I'd stumble into the office and go straight to the bathroom and pass out. When I woke up an hour or two later I'd still be ragged drunk or in the early stages of a debilitating hangover with permanent nerve damage to both my legs. Getting back to my chair was a Greek tragedy of chemical imbalance and full-blown cerebral palsy. I'd stagger past co-workers and fall into cubicle walls and I didn't ever care that I was obviously hammered and reeking of stale cigarettes and alcohol and that there were swarms of fruit flies nesting in my hair. Delightful guy, right? He ended up getting fired because a long-time employee in the office died and he decided to not go to her funeral. When he selfishly ignored the requests of both his boss and lady friend to attend the funeral, he was dismissed from the office. You should also know that the landlord of Shane's apartment building is tied into the murder case and Shane's been sleeping with his wife. Children's Reactions Many years ago, Stefanie Carnes, PhD and Diane Dillon, MA, and I developed a questionnaire that we administered to eighty-nine children who had a sexually addicted parent.

We discovered that many of the children already knew about the acting out or had suspicions about it before their parents disclosed to them. As much as parents wish to protect children from their own mistakes or hurtful behaviors, keeping secrets does not provide the sought-after protection. Sixty of eighty-nine respondents indicated they knew about their parent's behavior prior to disclosure. Here is a sampling of some of the responses we received: I was surprised that my mother was not aware that I knew. I carried this secret with me my entire adolescence! I had read my father's diary. It was quite a shock. How we eat can dictate how much inflammation we produce, which is the basis for chronic illness. The Leaky Gut Along with gut bugs, there is more to this story that is also being revealed: leaky gut or intestinal permeability. The gut consists of the stomach, small intestine, large intestine, and rectum. It has a surface area of 3,000 square feet. It is on the surface of the gut that these microbes, or gut bugs, live. The more surface area that is present, the better our ability is to absorb and digest. The gut is also made up of an abundance of intestinal villi, which are outpouchings or protrusions in the colon that are responsible for absorption. The external layer of cells of these villi is our first line of defense, as these cells are the first to be exposed to whatever comes into the GI tract. They are the pawns on our chessboards and the infantrymen in our cavalry. The article is filled with crude, hilarious dialogue and scenarios, but it can't be refuted that Shane is a pathetically apathetic man. After everything in his life comes to a stressful standstill, and Shane is waiting to hear a decision from the police on the case, he gets vulnerable about his apathetic humanity.

He's considering what it would take to change his ways. Here's some of Shane's inner dialogue: I was hoping some terminal illness euphoria would kick in, and that since I knew I had a death sentence hanging over me I'd immediately learn to cherish each day and every breath as a beautiful, wondrous gift from the God I now desperately believed in, and that I'd vow not to waste any more of my precious life that would very soon be ending. Then I would go out and hug strangers and sing out loud and twirl around on top of a mountain like the fucking Sound of Music and be inspirational and brave. Maybe then I could finally do all the things I'd been putting off all these years. Unfortunately I didn't know what any of those things were. It takes more than one kick in the pants to reverse a lifetime of unplanned apathy. I see this article as more than just a comedy, but actually a tragedy. I told my best friend but I never told anyone else. Sure, I would rather have not known about any of this. I don't think any of us who have had this experience want to know this stuff. But that is impossible because in my case I was living in a house with two addicts: my father who was a sex addict, and my mother who was addicted to him. I don't know which part is the most unfair, that he is doing what he does or that he doesn't know I am like the fairy princess who has to keep the knight's honor clean. I knew my dad had this woman friend; And I just knew he shouldn't be talking to her the way he did. Of twenty-nine respondents who were asked directly if they were glad they were told about their parent's behavior, twenty responded affirmatively. Yet they also said they did not like the actual moment of learning it was true. When questioned further, they said they did not want their beliefs or suspicions to be true. These cells are followed by the intestinal dendritic cells, which resemble tiny trees branching out; These cells are the soldiers on horses.