In fact, they add to the murkiness that hides below the surface of this game. The game begins when someone is financially wronged (or thinks she has been), and believes she can do nothing to set things right. She begins to tell other people about the financial injury and the impossibility of the situation. Someone else hears the story and is deeply moved to solve the problem, to rescue the wronged victim, who is obviously helpless to do anything about the situation. The rescuer, of course, is the only one to take action and solve the financial dilemma. The rescuer demands in his own way that the persecutor stop whatever she is doing that keeps the dispute going. The persecutor believes that she is just exercising her right to demand the money or take from the victim what is hers, by right, of course, and she will not stop. So to recap, you have three positions: the Wronged Victim, the Rescuer, and the Persecutor. Any or all can be wearing the favorite mask of their persona. For the game to be played one party must have the presence of the other two parties. Through our reframing exercises, Jill decided to pay into her pension fund so she could retire early and receive her full benefits. Today she is happily retired and, most days, pain-free. Jill is able to look back at that time and understand that the greatest benefit was learning how to forgive herself and listen to her body. Best of all, she now instinctively can turn to her favorite affirmation whenever she needs it: I am safe. I am loved. I am already healing. Reframing Your Thoughts Reframing is the ability to see a situation from a different perspective. This can be tremendously helpful in problem-solving, decision-making, and learning about yourself and your pain. The whole aim of reframing is to shift your perspective to be more empowered, while at the same time learning new skills that allow you to have control over your thoughts.

There was a mean gain of . There was steady gain from pre-test to post-test and post-test to follow-up, though these smaller steps do not provide statistically significant figures. Perhaps as significant as the overall gain is the fact that this gain came from six of the cases, the other four failing to show further improvement following therapy, or showing some regression toward the pre-therapy state. It seems obvious that if we but knew the factors which differentiated between those individuals who continued to improve in personality adjustment following therapy, and those who did not, we would be much further advanced in our knowledge of the therapeutic process. Such knowledge must, however, await further study. Another aspect of the Haimowitz investigation deserves comment. When the attempt was made to relate basic personality patterns to degree of change in therapy, there was one tentative finding which is of interest. Deeply disturbed males, with a tendency toward intrapunitive patterns of personality reactions, seemed to respond to client-centered therapy with the greatest degree of personality change. While this finding is tentative, it marks the first attempt to answer, in a scientific way, the oft-raised question, What type of individual is most likely to be helped by client-centered therapy? So much for the measurement of personality change by means of the Rorschach test. However, all of the positions can be occupied by three, two, or even as few as one real persona. The glue that holds the game together is that none of the three players is aware of the layers of emotion that hide under the complaints and accusations. You can begin to see why most of us don't recognize this game. The underlying theme that keeps the game going is that each party believes him- or herself to be right and the other party(s) to be wrong and thinks everyone else can see the truth in his or her position. So the Sticky Triangle game also includes playing I'm Right, You're Wrong, along with Aha! Getting anywhere while standing on the Sticky Triangle is nearly impossible. The players are stuck glued to their position. VICTIMS' ROLL CALL You can hear victims stepping onto the triangle even before a move is made. They have been wronged. Things did not turn out for them, and they don't know how to turn anything around.

When you reframe any situation, you look at it differently and change its meaning. For example, when you reframe a picture in your camera, you can either zoom in for a close-up picture, or zoom out for something that's a little bit more distant. The idea of reframing is to use imagery, journaling, phrases, and positive affirmations to help you creatively change your beliefs. Reframing allows you to get out of your old thought habits in order to create positive changes. Irene Tracey, a British pain neuroscientist, found that certain areas of the brain that modulated pain were different for those who experience depression and persistent pain. Her research revealed that people who develop a more positive attitude toward life--and who are able to create positive coping and stress-management skills--experienced less pain, stress, and disability than those people who maintain a negative view about their life and circumstances. Zooming into your pain can heighten your experience, but zooming out of it to look at the bigger picture can be the difference between thriving and just existing with your pain. You need to acknowledge how and what you're feeling in order to make changes--after all, what we don't know, we can't change. Then, instead of focusing on all the ways the pain is making your life harder or even unbearable, reframing helps you acknowledge that pain but focus on all the positive ways you are healing. Your Thought Habits The results on other personality tests seem to give the same general picture. Muench used both the Bell Adjustment Inventory and the Kent-Rosanoff Word Association Test in addition to the Rorschach. The results on both tests showed movement in the direction of improved adjustment. The Bell inventory showed improved scores in all five areas, but only in the areas of health and emotional adjustment were the changes statistically significant. The total score showed a decrease which has nine chances in ten of being significant. Seven of the twelve cases showed improvement on this test following therapy. Of the five cases which showed some decrement, three were the least successful cases in terms of the therapist's judgments. Improvement on the Bell test was striking in the four cases regarded by the therapists as most successful. On the Kent-Rosanoff test the overall change was in the direction of giving more normal associations, and when the associations were scored by the method devised by Jellinek and Shakow (97), the difference between the pre- and post-tests was significant at the 1 per cent level. Mosak (139) also used the Bell Adjustment Inventory with his group of twenty-eight, and the results are strikingly similar to those found by Muench.

Notice their body posture and the tone of their voice. They need help and money, and they are the first to tell you so. Just listen to the vibration of helplessness that resonates through their voice box like a whine. Helpless whines have a certain quality in common regardless of what persona is engaged. Learn to recognize the various whines in your life: I can't afford this. I don't have any money to give you. I really need the money. My money just disappears. They just came in and just took it. How come I have to do all this work? The key to changing your thought habits is to understand that you actually have a routine of these thoughts. Habits are generally unconscious behaviors that go on in the background of our lives without too much input from our conscious minds. For example, you might get a lower back X-ray that says you have moderate degeneration, so immediately you think you need surgery. Or you notice that your knuckles are starting to swell and think that you've got rheumatoid arthritis. And of course that pain in your right shoulder is lung cancer. These are all thoughts that aren't based in reality, yet they can actually create pain. Pain is just one protective action that the body can take. For example, when people have a heart attack, they often have pain in their arm. But there's no damage to the arm--the pain is actually coming from the heart. Or imagine taking a big bite of a ripe, juicy lemon.

The mean score dropped from 62. Again the greatest changes occurred in the areas of emotional adjustment and health, with social adjustment the third in significance. Improvement was shown in all five areas, including home and occupational adjustment. Two tests were used by Mosak which had not been used by previous investigators. The Minnesota Multiphasic showed significant decreases on five of the nine diagnostic scales and on two of the validity scales. The scales showing the greatest changes in the direction of normality were Depression (D) and Schizophrenia (Sc). Significant changes also occurred in the following scales: Hypochondriasis (Hs), Hysteria (Hy), and Paranoia (Pa). Some positive change occurred on ten of the thirteen scales. When the mean profile of the group before therapy is compared with the post-therapy profile, the profile pattern remains very much the same, but a general drop in profile intensity is observed. Evidently the change which occurs is pervasive and general, in this group of cases judged as moderately severe neurotics, rather than narrow or specific. I never make enough money. I got laid off again. Where did I go wrong? How did this happen to me? Victims play the game I lose and you win. Action Step Consider the complaints you voice. Now think about the ones you don't speak out loud. You spend your energy and step into the victim position with both actions. Allow yourself to recognize when you have moved into position.