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I don't feel ashamed or weird about it, because that's what I want to do. This is what's important to my life. Determining Your Goals - Your F6 Goals In order to be less apathetic about our lives and other people, we first need to know what we actually care about right now. More than just words, what are you willing to do right now? This process of figuring out what you like and don't like could take hours and even days to break down. It could take years to finally come to grips with. No matter what, this question must be answered. I was becoming more and more cold. It was as if I wanted his old behavior back, the way I egged him on. But he wouldn't engage like the old days, and I saw myself getting sicker and sicker. Thank heaven one day I really was tired of being sick and tired. As someone who has been traumatized by sexual betrayal, you have the right to want safety, you have the right to want the truth, respect. You do not deserve the shame you feel, and have every reason for your rage, your despair, your confusion. You are on the path. Today in recovery you are more apt to find that safety, self-respect, and to be able to operate from your truth by recognizing where your power lies. With the skills of boundary setting, grounding tools, a framework for knowing what is happening and has happened in your coupleship, you are taking back your life. The challenge with letting go when you're at the end of your rope is that you quickly get in touch with deeper feelings. Bananas are rich in potassium. People with diabetes often tell us their doctors say they cannot eat fruits.

But then those same people eat refined breads and cookies because they want something sweet and they're hungry. We would take any fruit over that option, any day of the week. Most often, the fruit is not the problem for people with diabetes; Overall, fruits and vegetables are great when eaten raw. However, there are some vegetables that are more nutritionally potent when they are cooked. It's hard to remember exactly which vegetables are more potent when cooked, so we try to keep it simple and just tell people to eat as many colors as they can throughout the day: raw, cooked, frozen, whatever. The bottom line is eating more than seven servings per day of fruits and vegetables lowers heart disease risk and has a role in decreasing cancer and all-cause mortality. Many people feel overwhelmed when they consider that they have to eat seven servings of fruits and vegetables every day. No matter what the answer happens to be, the answer is okay. Newsflash, you may not want to change at all! If everything is really going the way you want it to right now, and you're completely satisfied with life, then screw me. Close this article and feed it to your dog. But, if you want to grow, advance, develop and create a better life, then you have to know what you actually care about. One of the best quotes on this topic comes from Jack Welch, the former CEO of General Electric. In his 20-year tenure at General Electric, between 1981 and 2001, he grew the company's value by 4,000%. He says, with immense clarity, Face reality as it is, not as it was or - Jack Welch For some of you the depth of your pain and anguish or fear is so profound that you don't know how you will survive. You remember the images you came across on the computer and how you felt angry and compelled to search for more, all the while thinking your heart was going to break from the despair you felt.

These fluctuating emotions often get too scary and the tendency is to avoid them altogether. On the other hand, you may be at the opposite extreme, feeling shut down, numb and frozen, or the flip side so enraged you can't function. Because the trauma is intimate in nature, the emotional work is more challenging as you are vacillating among multitudes of feelings related to the person with whom you may still be in a relationship. It is when you own and accept your feelings--whether you feel angry, fearful, sad, humiliated, or ashamed--that you will be able to embrace life, to move forward. To be whole you need to be able to access a range of feelings. Part of your recovery is learning to identify a wide scope of feelings and then learning the healthy expression of those feelings. Learning to own your feelings won't be easy because you have probably spent a lifetime not being safe with your feelings. It is likely that you gleaned your understanding of what to do with your feelings from a culture and family that told you which feelings were acceptable and which were not. People often ask how to incorporate them into their meals. In the morning, Dr A often has a banana and two pieces of toast with hummus. She eats fresh bread from the bakery, which has minimal sugar and no preservatives. Then around 10:00 a. For lunch, she often eats a huge spinach or kale salad with an abundance of vegetables and seeds. Around 3:00 p. For dinner, she will often eat a bean burrito with steamed broccoli, or a bowl of rice and lentils with that same steamed broccoli or sauteed bok choy. For dessert, an orange (or nothing at all) is enough. When you think it through, it can be easy to get seven to ten servings of vegetables per day! Bottom line is to try for diversity and remember to eat all of the colorful vegetables--don't limit yourself. Let's start with simply jotting down all the interests, passions and goals you think you have. I want to stress this, the first time around, you are wrong about the goals you actually want.

I remember a period of time where I was fairly convinced that I would be willing to invest years of scheduling to become a CPA. One semester of online classes made it very clear that this was NOT my passion! Do not feel immense pressure to determine your ultimate future right now. Just jot down ideas and, after implementing steps to address these interests, you'll figure out which ones you're willing to put the effort into. You'll find out what you honestly care about. Thanks to the consulting firm I work at, they give business owners a great way to break down goals that are important to their lives. This is what my bosses call, the F6 Goals. Each of the six F categories represent a central area in your life. That modeling then became reinforced in your relationship with someone who sexually acts out. He is not there to listen, to validate, or to offer support. In fact he most often discounts, ignores, and denies your feelings. He rages in anger or walks away in silence. He tells you there is no reason for you to feel the way you do. It's possible he tells you that not only do you have no reason to be fearful, angry, or sad, but in fact you should be grateful. It is likely you have a lot of fears of what would happen should you show feelings. Fears such as: You may be at a stage where you have difficulty expressing your feelings because you have difficulty identifying them. You may not recognize anger as you stand with your fists clenched and arms tightly folded. For instance, red and yellow peppers are full of phytonutrients. Spinach is full of iron but doesn't provide calcium and may even leach calcium you've just eaten from other sources.

Turnip greens, mustard greens, bok choy, and kale, among others, have plenty of calcium, so vary it up and eat all the colorful vegetables, all of the time. When you are thinking about your fruits and vegetables for the day, you don't have to remember what fruit or vegetable has what in it. Just remember to eat a variety of colors. Eat greens, reds, oranges, blues, and purples. Don't get stuck on just one color; A Few Words about Kale Kale has received a lot of press lately as the wonder vegetable, a superfood. It really is an amazing vegetable. Write down what goals/desires/interests you have for the next year in each category. Please, don't feel like you have to create your five year or ten year plan for each category. If a year is too far away, what do you want to accomplish in the next three months? Or just the next month? Maybe just this week! Here are some questions to ask yourself in order to help stir up some ideas: What's not happening right now that I want to happen? What small actions could I take in order to improve this area? What good habits have I been putting off? What do I wish I could learn or do, but just haven't gotten the chance to do? I have worked with women who had tears rolling down their faces, and when asked what they were feeling, they didn't know. Many women smile broadly through their fear, humiliation, and anger.