Andrew was blown away by Dr Gordon's work, so he reached out to set up an appointment. First, Dr Gordon ran a panel of comprehensive hormone tests that he had developed. Andrew, like most of Dr Gordon's patients, was deficient in key hormones. After taking Andrew's lab results, a detailed physical exam, and his history, Dr Gordon created a personalized protocol to replenish Andrew's hormones and reduce inflammatory chemicals in his body. When he had started working with Dr Gordon, Andrew had been taking more than 13 medications. You won't benefit from her detour. When she demeans herself, she demeans everyone around her, and that includes you. On the other hand, if you remind her that her future is filled with whatever she brings to it, you are seen as a loving mentor. Children get bumps and bruises early in life as they test their physicality. Whether they enter this exploration with optimism or fear has a lot to do with your attitude. Mishaps are the child's lack of experience, not a lack of common sense. Her natural curiosity is leading her to investigate closets, boxes, nooks and crannies in search of hidden treasures. She can't help herself. Her behavior isn't naughty, or undesirable; If you discourage her from researching her world, you are not being supportive. After ordering our drinks, Vivian and I sat in a cushion-filled nook at the back of the cafe. I began to explain what attachment theory is and why it matters. It all dates back to the work of developmental psychologist John Bowlby. He believed that children have an innate attachment to their mothers. Later, psychologist Mary Ainsworth investigated how attachment might vary between children in a now-famous experiment called The Strange Situation.

She invited mothers and babies (between twelve and eighteen months old) into her lab and observed them in a series of different scenarios. First the mother and baby entered a room filled with toys. The baby felt safe to play and explore because the mother functioned as the secure base--someone who could provide help if they needed it. Then the lab assistant instructed the mother to leave the room, and observed how the baby responded to both the mother's absence and her return a few minutes later. The experiment explored a baby's ability to trust that their needs would be met, even with the temporary absence of their secure base. His doctors had told him he'd be on them for the rest of his life. Shortly after Andrew began Dr Gordon's protocol, his memory and moods improved. His speech and balance returned. He stopped drinking heavily and could sleep soundly. He also was able to come off his prescription medications. Everything from his cognitive to behavioral to physiological issues slowly disappeared, and within months, he was back to feeling and acting like his old self. It was nothing short of a miracle. Andrew's road to recovery didn't stop with Dr Gordon either. Through the process of healing his brain injuries, he came to realize there was something inside being blocked that needed resolution. A Navy SEAL whom he respected suggested that he try MDMA-assisted psychotherapy, which acts as a stimulant and a hallucinogen. Instead, you are making her feel ashamed of her curiosity and you are punishing her for exploring her environment. She doesn't want to miss a thing in this new world of amazing configurations. To keep her safe, recognize dangerous items and keep them out of her reach. Your child faces new challenges every moment she lives; As she discovers her agility, she wants to use that agility every chance she gets.

Don't judge her abilities by yours. Her communication with the ground is keen when she is young, and she has a much better sense of how far she can push herself than you do. When it becomes obvious that her ambitions don't match her skills, praise her for her endurance rather than warn her of disaster. Then, if she takes a fall, she understands that it's her knowledge of the feat that needs improvement, not her ambitions. This is the beginning of personal responsibility. Some babies showed signs of distress as soon as their mother left. When she returned, these babies would be temporarily soothed and stop crying but then angrily push the mother away and begin crying again. Ainsworth called these babies anxiously attached. Another group of babies cried when their mother left but stopped as soon as she returned. They quickly resumed playing. These were the securely attached babies. A third group did not respond to their mother leaving the room; They pretended they weren't bothered by the situation, but the researchers could tell from their elevated heart rate and stress levels that these babies were just as upset as the ones who cried. These were the avoidantly attached babies. Ainsworth and her team concluded that we all have the same need for attachment and attention, but we develop different coping strategies to deal with our particular caregivers. Andrew had never thought about using psychedelics, but he wanted to resolve whatever was inside, so he worked with someone trained in administering it. It was the most profound and remarkable experience of his life. MDMA allowed him to go back and relive some difficult situations that he had no conscious idea were stuck inside. He went back and resolved combat memories as if he was there in real time, but with a more detached, yet connected, perspective. Andrew saw the situation from his own perspective, but also everyone else's who was there.

Through MDMA, Andrew was able to see that he had done everything he could and that sometimes situations shake out the way they do. It was a gift of resolution that he didn't even know he needed. Five years after Andrew began his road to recovery with Dr Gordon and MDMA, he remains symptom- and medication-free. In his words, he's exponentially a better husband, father, and person, and he's performing just as good, if not better, than his preinjury days. Andrew is also fulfilling the third promise he made to himself and his son--he's helping others to heal on their road to recovery. The sooner she becomes accountable, the happier she will be. Telling your child that a new idea is dangerous won't keep her from trying it. She already knows she can do many things that you find impossible. If she attempts what you consider unsafe, explain why another possibility could be more satisfying. She is looking for sensible explanations; Your child wants to connect to her inner wisdom; As you make sensible decisions in your life, you offer her a healthy example to follow. Every soul comes here to understand the difference between independence and foolhardiness. A child's judgment is immature because she has just come from a place where everything was safe whatever it was. She needs guidance, but she doesn't you're your ridicule of her judgment. Years later, researchers found the same theory applies to our adult attachment style--whom we're attracted to, how we relate to them, and why many of our relationships succeed or fail. But don't blame your mom for your relationship issues just yet. Our relationship with our parents is one of only a number of factors that determine our adult attachment style. Which one am I? Vivian said.

Well, I said, those anxiously attached babies who cried when their mothers left the room and continued to cry when the mother returned? As babies, they worried their needs would go unmet, and lashed out with anger and frustration. As adults, they're afraid of abandonment and want to be in constant contact with their partners. That is so me. I smiled at Vivian because she had sent me seven rapid-fire texts in a row when I hadn't shown up to class the week before. Andrew, and his brother, Adam, a former army Apache aviator, started the Warrior Angels Foundation. In partnership with Dr Gordon, they've helped over 500 U. Like Andrew, every patient has received a customized plan to help them heal. Through the Warrior Angels Foundation, Andrew has also worked tirelessly to bring greater awareness and attention to TBIs and their symptoms. What I thought was the worst thing in my life, turned out to be one of the best, Andrew told us. Not only do I have this amazing family, I have an amazing mission. We've been able to help thousands of people understand their traumas, how to deal with them, and how to get better. Andrew's extraordinary story reminds us that sometimes on the road to recovery, it can take a few stops before we find the right treatments, therapists, and doctors. We owe it to ourselves, though, to keep going, seeking, and searching for the right answers. Did any ancient practice pop for you? Give her the kind of leadership that you enjoy receiving. Reassure her that, while her focus is daring, other choices could be more appropriate. This is how she learns that it's not her judgment that is debatable; How do you practice common sense when your toddler must understand the consequences of an action in order to survive? You make your lesson as vivid as possible by reenacting the danger through her toys.