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Many are fun, pleasurable, and most are free or inexpensive. They are not meant to be used once or twice, but are to be regular practices you integrate into your life. Common forms of grounding include: Given what has been occurring in your life I can only imagine what you are thinking. When is there time for me to do these things? I have way too many serious things going on. My life is falling apart. Yet there is science behind many of these practices demonstrating their value to people who have experienced trauma. Elimination will cleanse your body and heal your microbiome. Start with eliminating red meat for six weeks. After six weeks, eliminate eggs, especially egg yolk, the source of cholesterol in eggs. After six more weeks, start replacing foods from cow's milk with plantbased alternatives. By three months, move toward eliminating chicken. Eliminate highly processed foods. Think natural. Cut out added sugars and fake sugars. Go to the grocery store a few times per week. Go to a bakery for your bread. They had to travel to that foreign land and work with these people for the rest of their lives. They were willing to die in order to reach their goal.

All of them pursued their goals with this burning passion that wouldn't stop until the goal has been achieved. Like I've said before, this article was written in an attempt to erase the cognitive dissonance we experience in our lives. And, no, I don't care that I'm beating a dead horse here. I want to beat this point into your skull until you finally get it! You should not feel deeply hopeless about your current lack of compassion to change the world or yourself. Everyone lives this way! This was written to inform you that, instead of sleeping in and completely blowing off your weekends, you can find activities that give you more meaning in life. You can work towards earning a certain income or find a loving partner for life or live more adventurously. All of these benefits speak to the needs of partners. Begin by just choosing a couple and integrate them into your daily life. Concept of Powerlessness The confusion and pain you experience due to the addict's behavior lead you to become increasingly focused on your partner. You have been fighting a demon in the coupleship that was often unnamed and would go in and out of visibility. You have been doing what you can to make your relationship work. The betrayal is eating away at your heart and soul and you are doing what you can to fight the beast. Yet in this process, you may fail to recognize how some of your own behavior creates chaos and is hurtful in your life. The addict is often referred to a self-help twelve-step program for their sex addiction. Many partners find validation and direction in the twelve-step groups of Recovering Couples Anonymous (RCA) and Co-Sex Addicts Anonymous (COSA). If you want to eat cookies, bake them yourself. GREENS, BEANS, CARBS, OH MY!

Adding back When Dr A was younger, she constantly battled her weight. She always felt overweight and worried. She ate diet bars and drank Diet Coke. She starved herself at times and weighed herself at least once a day, but usually would feel disappointed. We know the feeling when nothing fits or the feeling of not wanting to take your shirt off at the swimming pool to show off your body. After Dr A had her three children and got so sick, she learned how to eat. Dr A and Dr R don't eat any weight-reducing foods. You know what, you could actually be very passionate about hibernating on the weekends and designing a life where you can sleep all weekend. No matter what this goal is. IT WON'T HAPPEN IF WE CONTINUE TO TELL OURSELVES THAT WE CARE. WHEN WE DON'T. TRUE CARING OCCURS WHEN ACTION TAKES PLACE. In regards to what you do, that's up to you, and you alone. As for me and my priorities, do I have the ability to go serve my time at a homeless shelter and pass out food to people? Definitely. Do I have money to contribute donations to kids in 3rd world countries so they can eat adequate meals? Could I reach out to my old friend and rekindle the relationship with him, have phone calls with him and even take road trips down to his place for visits? In the twelve-step program, the first step is admitting your powerlessness over the compulsive sexual behavior and recognizing how your life has become unmanageable as a consequence of your own behavior. This is not to dismiss what has happened to you.

This is to help you become aware of your own self-defeating behavior in reaction to this trauma and in the process help you identify what behaviors you can let go of that enhance your own well-being. So with compassion for self, be open to identifying any of your behaviors that would lessen your own frenzy. For the time being, focus on surrendering control of your partner and his behavior. Begin by asking yourself in what ways you try to control him or the situation. In the long run, have any of these behaviors made a difference? This is a critical question. In the long run it hasn't, it only has driven you further to distraction and been retraumatizing. Think about how your denial, preoccupation with the addict, lack of self-care, lack of healthy boundaries, and your defenses have contributed to your pain and confusion. They just eat healthily and feel great. In the previous article, we spent a lot of time talking about which foods to take out of the diet--toxins--to allow for gut healing. As with everything, we have to balance that by adding back resources for the body--foods that replenish and restore. This article will focus on replenishment of resources, which is as important as what we eliminate. ADD BACK #1: Fruits and Vegetables The importance of fruits and vegetables has been purported for centuries. Fruits contain vitamins A and C, as well as potassium. Vegetables give us an abundance of fiber, vitamins A and C, iron, magnesium, calcium, and potassium. They even have protein. Fruits and vegetables are rich in phytonutrients (plant nutrients) and plant sterols (discussed on article 102). Yeah, I could make time for that. I could do anything under the sun, but I choose not to do those things.

Maybe I'm not the saint Mother Teresa would want me to be right now, but you know what I am? I'm pretty happy with what's happening in my life. At the time of my writing this passage, November 2019, I work at a job where I save or donate 30% of my total income and live well within my means. My coworkers like me and they are very enjoyable to work with. I'm actually planning to give them all a Christmas gift, all 47 of them in the office. I live in a nice apartment in downtown Tulsa, with a view down the Arkansas River. I get to practice piano, workout regularly, read articles frequently, hang out with friends and still get to watch great TV shows. As a result of all these things, I've been given the opportunity to pursue genuine passions, like writing this article! Describe physical symptoms such as loss of sleep, headaches, gastrointestinal problems, back pain, weight gain, or weight loss. Are you obsessive about your appearance? Do you take less pride in your grooming and dress? Are you depressed? Angry all the time? Are you displacing your feelings? Are you reluctant to seek a spiritual path? If so, what is that reluctance about? Do your religious beliefs interfere with asserting yourself? Do you think you are stupid? These phytonutrients have been shown in many trials to be beneficial. In times of acute stress, phytonutrients activate stress signals, which are important in cell defense.