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Are you beginning to see yourself as someone who has the grit to persevere and the hope to keep trying? Brainstorm three ways you can give your time to the people you care about and how that time can be used productively to create closer relationships. Anyone who has experienced a mildly euphoric feeling after working out for the first time in a while can appreciate the connection between physical and mental health. The two are intertwined, and often the simplest solution to a bad mood is to get up and move around. Exercise and eating the right foods don't just help you live longer and healthier; they improve your emotional state and can impact your long-term life satisfaction. Your emotional health affects your physical health, as well. Happy people have been found to have lower heart rates (about six beats per minute slower) and stronger immune systems, and live an average of ten years longer than unhappy people, various studies have found. A rush of positive emotion has been found to reduce headaches and chest pain. And if nothing else, a hearty laugh is a simple way to burn a few calories. A group of researchers sought to answer the specific question, "How much exercise is enough to feel better?" with participants taking a mood inventory before and after a quiet resting trial, then spending ten, twenty, or thirty minutes on a bicycle. Feelings of confusion, fatigue, and negative mood improved after just ten minutes of exercise. After twenty minutes, only feelings of confusion improved. After thirty minutes of sustained exercise, none of the negative moods saw further improvement. Of course, exercising for longer has plenty of physical benefits, but the researchers concluded that exercising in short, ten-minute bursts a few times a day is enough to provide immediate improvements to your mood. Schedule a short exercise break in the morning, afternoon, and evening to get the greatest emotional benefits from working out. Go for it. Have your first interaction and then jot down some notes in your journal, or on the downloadable form, about how it went. What felt awkward? What felt terrific? What did you learn about yourself?

What type of response did you get? What do you want to try next time? I suspect you will find that the conversation is truly the easy part. The trick is that you need to keep paying attention to what you're doing, those micromoments that match your goals. You want to capitalize on those moments when your present self is looking out for your future self, when you are tapping into your own wisdom as a guide for your behavior. It is my hope that building a routine of healthy habits in Principle 2, catching and identifying your TRAPs in Principle 3, and creating a full schedule of meaningful activities in Principle 4 will give you lots of opportunities for capitalizing. Keep in mind that your capacity to capitalize on your personal goals may provide much-needed encouragement and motivation. Plus, the interaction itself may help you intensify your connection with your capitalization buddy. Remember, you're not calling to boast--you're calling to share your experiences as you cope with life's challenges and build a life of meaning and purpose that activates happiness. What's special about a cognitive-behavioural approach? The problem with using words like counselling or psychotherapy is that these words suggest there is only one method of therapy. However, at the last count there were some 450 different therapeutic approaches, some sharing ideas in common and others being as different as chalk and cheese. Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy is a relatively new therapy. Behaviour Therapy came first in the mid-1950s, aimed at helping people deal with the symptoms of anxiety by changing the things that they did. Although Behaviour Therapy was a movement forward as it provided many people with real benefits, it also became apparent that something was lacking, and this turned out to be the attention to the person's individual thoughts that accompanied his or her behaviour. In the late 1960s, Cognitive Therapy came into being and this therapy focused on the types of thinking styles that caused people distress. It was not long before the benefits of Behaviour and Cognitive Therapy came together, forming what is now called Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy - often referred to as CBT. Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy is the only therapy that has sought to put itself forward for assessment and validation through research, its practitioners believing it important that a therapy should not only work but should demonstrate how it works and why. There are now many studies supporting the view that the best treatment for a range of conditions is CBT and, indeed, the National Institute for Clinical Excellence (NICE) and the National Health Service (NHS) have both recommended CBT as the treatment of choice when working with conditions such as depression and anxiety. Fear can be a good thing.

For example, if I go to cross the road and see a car speeding towards me, I would experience all the physical and emotional sensations of anxiety. However, if I felt the same way waiting for a bus when there was nothing to fear, this would not be a helpful or appropriate response. Fear is a crucial survival mechanism and our bodies are pre-programmed to protect us from dangerous situations. Biologically, our bodies produce a range of stress hormones, such as adrenaline, that encourage changes in our physical and mental state, helping us either to escape from the situation or face it head-on. This is called the stress response' and you may have heard it calledfight or flight'. The three key players when it comes to stress hormones are adrenaline (associated with flight), noradrenaline (associated with fight), and cortisol. All the tips in the world are useless if you don't apply them, step by step... ...in order to find someone who you can connect with, share your new values and ideals with and become friends or something more. x It's a hard road to walk, but it gets easier. You'll quickly find that, with a personality like yours, people will come to you. No longer will you need to go out and meet people or seek out dates. They'll see your smooth confidence and radiating energy and will gravitate towards you. Dating, especially when you're still working to develop your self-esteem and become likable to new people, is hard - but it won't always be. Starting from the moment you say 'how are you doing' and at every milestone along the way, you'll be stressed about doing the right or wrong thing, making a fool of yourself, or wasting your time on someone who is not interested in you. So, how do you take everything we've discussed and create the perfect, streamlined approach to a romantic relationship? It starts way back in Chapter one when I told you how to be friendly and likable. You need to be relaxed and show that you are the attractive person that your potential partner has been looking for. You need to show respect, and become knowledgeable about how they best receive and give love. And, you need to come from a giving mind set, so that you can cultivate an ongoing attraction with the one you care for. Initial attraction is easy, but to become likeable, desired and pursued by your partner for months, years and up to a lifetime, apply the following tips--and watch your love life take off into something you've never experienced before: Tell it like it is.

After taking a workshop on success in relationships by a handful of my greatest relationship idols, I began implementing one of the easiest tools for communication I learned there. The regular uses of psychoactive drugs have reached their highest levels ever in the United States over this past decade. The use and abuse of drugs, drugs that act on our cerebral nerve cells and neural circuits, our brains and our minds, extends from the legal to the illegal purchase and distribution of substances. The biggest culprits include prescription opioid pain pills; natural and synthetic opioids such as heroin, morphine, and now fentanyl; stimulants, including Adderall, Ritalin, cocaine, and crystal meth; marijuana and its toxic synthetic relatives such as K2 or spice; ecstasy; ketamine; and many others. To avoid a boundless scope of discussion, I will mostly confine my discussion to illegal drugs and the abuse of legal drugs, particularly opioid pain pills, even though tobacco and alcohol are among the most deadly of all intoxicants. The evidence for the escalating dominance of opioids is in their sales figures and the deaths they have induced. In the spirit of taking care of your future self, set aside a few moments and thoughtfully respond to the following questions in your journal or on the downloadable form while your observations are fresh. These responses will serve as your quick reference if you start to notice a decrease in your healthy habits and an increase in your low motivation or depressive habits. What might your telltale signs be that you're dropping into a mode of procrastination, excuse-making, and choosing immediate comfort over long-term goals? Why is it worth the effort to catch your depressive habits, reacting to "I don't want to" with activity rather than inactivity? Why is it worth the effort to build in a routine structure of activities that you do no matter how low your motivation is? Sales of prescription opioids in the United States were four times greater in 2010 than they were in 1999, and overdose deaths in 2008 were four times their rate twenty years earlier. The greatest increases in recent years have been first in the American Midwest, then in the Northeast and South, and especially among non-Hispanic whites and among those twenty-six years of age and older. Drug overdose deaths today exceed motor vehicle accidents and gunshot wounds as preventable causes of mortality, with 52,404 lethal drug overdoses identified in 2015--and this is likely an underestimate. Over 60 percent of these avoidable deaths are related to prescription pain pills and their common progression of use, abuse, and dependency, namely snorting or shooting up available, cheaper, and more potent heroin and lately the more deadly synthetic opioid fentanyl. (Overdose deaths from this and related opioids tripled from 3,105 in 2013 to 9,580 in 2015, also likely underestimates.) You don't have to go to the fitness room to enjoy the emotional benefits of physical exercise. A group of German researchers examined how everyday physical activity affected three dimensions of mood: valence (its positivity or negativity), calmness, and energetic arousal. Using accelerometers, they tracked the physical activity of seventy-seven students during the relatively sedentary exam period, and had the students report their current moods hourly on a mobile app. Results showed that the more intense the activity (lasting for at least ten minutes), the more positive feelings increased. However, jogging for a half hour did not produce significantly different results than if the participants were just walking.

The researchers suggested that breaking up an otherwise sedentary workday with daily activity like walking, stair climbing, or doing jumping jacks can improve your mood. Even if you don't have time to get to the gym, take a break at work to walk a few blocks or climb a few flights of stairs to get into a better mood. It may seem counterintuitive, but exercising longer can actually make you feel less exhausted. Researchers looking at what effects gender, exercise type, exertion level, and length of workout had on mood recruited 135 participants and assigned them to either a weight training or cardiovascular exercise group. Participants were allowed to determine their own workout duration and exertion levels (the average length of their workouts was 46.75 minutes, with a range between 10 and 120 minutes). Both before and after the test, they rated their levels of tension, depression, anger, vigor, and fatigue. Results across the board showed higher mood ratings after exercising. But interestingly, the more difficult and longer the workout lasted, the more positive the mood participants reported. This was particularly true for weightlifting women, but generally true of all categories. Exhaustion ratings were also positively correlated with longer workout durations. They reluctantly wake up, get dressed for a job they don't want to go to, like and reshare, "Monday Sucks" memes on social media, look forward to their days off, and then think about what they can blow their paycheck on to support their emotional addiction to buying things. Their path is getting the newest TV, video game, smartphone, taking pictures of it, and then sharing everything on social media so they can appear to be on a real path and living a great life. They think their "path" is having a job, paying bills, and filling their life up with "stuff". Those who have their act together don't "hope", "want", and "wish", they NEED. They have faith in themselves that whatever needs to be done is going to, inevitably, get done. They have faith that they're not going to let themselves down. The things they want in life HAVE TO happen. There are no choices. There are no other options. Average people think, "That sure would be nice" and they put little to no effort into it because it's not high enough on their priority list.