This is why I'm resilient. This is why I'm resilient. What was your response the last time you were told no? Looking back at the list of common reasons people say no, which one do you think may apply most to your situation? What could you have done or said differently to get a yes? The next time you're told no and decide it's worth the effort to turn the no into a yes, make a sincere attempt to understand the reason behind the no. Using the four tips for turning a no into a yes, see if you can turn the situation around. RESOURCE RESILIENCE FUEL Some were dying. There was nothing ridiculous about them. All they wanted was for their lives to be a little bit better, a little less painful. Andre, May 31 It was 3:45 a. It was just light enough to see the pathway. The easy gradient quickly gave way to a steep, uneven climb. After an hour or so, I found myself on a plateau near a small lake. The sun was slowly coming up. It was a truly beautiful scene. It sounds horrible. It wasn't that bad.

Even though I felt alone, I wasn't really. The camp counselors were only a whistle blow away. So what was the point? I guess it's about having time to think -- without any distractions. Something about being truly alone, with all the sounds and darkness, helps you figure some things out. What if you realize you don't like your own company? It might make for a really long night. My voice trails off to a whisper. Circle all the emotions and mindsets that you are currently experiencing. The more emotions and mindsets you circle, the greater your capacity to access Resource Resilience. Just harness the energy from these emotions into resilience. Fighting feelings of entitlement Desiring to learn Confident in my abilities Appreciated Hopeful/optimistic Able to influence the future You don't know me yet (Wait and see what I can do) I continued upward. The path smoothed out as I passed small waterfalls cascading down the mountainside.

When I arrived at the top, I discovered a wide, flat expanse. On one side of me were clouds. On the other side were mountains picked out by the sun. I was at the highest point for hundreds of miles in all directions. I took off my backpack, instinctively closed my eyes, and assumed a meditation posture. As I scanned my forehead, I felt some tension, which I tried to soften. I scanned my shoulders and counted my breaths. I felt the warmth of the sun on my face. He tilts his head and looks over at me. Why do you ask? I was just thinking about el Dia de los Muertos and how people spend all night in the graveyard. In Mexico, there'd be plenty of people to keep you company. Out here, it'd just be you and the armadillos, he says. And snakes. But you survived, I point out. And all that time in the woods by yourself was a good thing? He considers for a moment. For me it was. Plugged in to other resources (others' skills, opportunities) Bettering myself

Reaching out to gain access I can fix it! Willing to ask for help Self-efficacious I have gifts Desiring to accomplish/achieve Being of service to others Giving back Time stopped meaning much. A sense of pleasure started to gently spread over me. The pure silence was only accentuated by the occasional chirp of a small bird. I kept my eyes closed and floated in this I-less state for a long time, and when I opened my eyes again, I took out my prayer beads and started chanting. OM OM OM OM OM OM OM. I followed a lonely cloud as it passed across the sky. Everything seemed to be moving slowly and imperceptibly. I wanted to hold on to this moment for the rest of my life: the warm sun on my face, the stillness, the silence, the chirping bird, the single cloud. month was coming to an end, and as I was looking at the mountains in the distance, I thought that maybe this was the spiritual experience I had strived to achieve. Carl, June 1 was something about just sitting outside in the dark all alone. Makes you face your demons, you know?

I know all about demons and the dark, but I'm not sure I want to face either one. The secret to being a real star is commitment. When I get home from the cemetery, I see my dad mowing the lawn. I wave on my way inside, grateful that I won't have to answer questions about Luis or the funeral home van right now. I find my mom in her bedroom, sitting on the floor in front of her dresser. Photographs of a family that used to have four people are scattered around her outstretched legs. I sit down on the side of the bed. Remember this one? My effort leads to opportunity and unforeseen options Desiring to make a difference Accessing hope when hope seems lost Back when I was a social worker, I had a client who slept on the grass in front of my office. When it was time for his appointment, he would stand up, brush the grass off, and come inside. This guy literally had nothing. His life was a complete mess. He had no reason to keep getting up each day, yet he did. He was at total rock bottom, but he continued to meet with me in an effort to get out. Watching him brush the grass from his front-yard bed off of his wrinkled and dirty clothes, it hit me that I could help my clients more if I could teach them the value of resilience by studying the lives of people like him--people who, given the reality of their current resources, were at an extreme disadvantage, yet somehow found the resilience to keep going. During our ten years of friendship, Andre and I had not once talked about sex. So it was no surprise that we had wanted to skip this month.