THINKING BUT INSTEAD BELIEVE YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO. Your Lover's primary focus and concern is you and your wellbeing. However, although it's tempting to nominate a significant other in this role, I strongly recommend you don't. Sure, you'll always have special people there who look after and support you personally, but they don't always need, or want, to listen to everything that's happening in your day-to-day work. I take everything in my stride. Everything I do is effortless. I have great energy to overcome challenges, roadblocks and issues as they arise. And my energy is infectious: it engages, inspires and recharges people I come in contact with. My energy is sustainable and self-perpetuating. I am 100 per cent certain of the work I need to be doing in my life. I am a living example of a purposeful and positive person pursuing my passions. I understand my gifts and talents and use them in a meaningful and impactful way. People recognise our excellence and appreciate what we are providing. We assist people to have more meaningful conversations with the people who mean the world to them. In the morning there was no breakfast so I went into the kitchen and stole food like a squirrel. The sun never rose, not at ten in the morning or one in the afternoon: never. The wind howled all night and the rain pelted on my windows. It was like standing under Niagara Falls with a piece of aluminium foil over your head. At that point, even with the depression, I started to laugh.

It felt like a tiny space or chink in my brain had opened up and let in some light. I could see what was funny about all this. I was taken to a concrete Soviet Bloc building to do my show. There I was in this depressing atmosphere, talking to about six hundred people (who were probably depressed) about depression. When I got back to London they lost my luggage again. Now, with this image in mind, what is it that we look at? Our attention is drawn to the dancing particles, while the light that makes these particles visible to our eye remains invisible in and of itself. Here is the reason for this: we don't see the light that makes it possible for us to see the particles because our present nature only knows itself in relationships that are based upon particularity. It is only conscious of individual forms instead of their relationship to the whole. The inherent limitations of this level of self have become our lamentations. But it need not remain this way. Within each of us, in our hearts and in our minds, there lives a special kind of light. In truth, it is everywhere. And to carry the last analogy a bit further, we can look at our thoughts as particles suspended in a silent, illuminated space. But, as we are learning, instead of seeing the beautiful stillness--the source of that which reveals the movement of these passing thoughts and feelings--we grab onto each thought that passes through it. What would Kant think of me now? Carl, October 20 I arrived in Uppsala just before nine. It was a crisp autumn morning. The sun was just cutting through the mist.

The smell of rotten leaves was all around. I walked into the clinic. At the end of a long corridor, in a small lab, I found a man in blue medical scrubs. Are you Carl? Yes, that's right. To get a well-rounded picture of your parents, I'd like you to take an inventory of their top five positive and negative traits. Were they caring, good listeners, always there for you? And/or depressed, disappointed in life, blaming? Try using the format below. Identifying these traits, do your best to see your parents as human rather than idealizing or demonizing them. Get their pluses and minuses down on paper so they can stare right back at you. When reviewing the inventory, consider ways your parents' assets or liabilities impacted you. Which traits on your list instilled confidence? A sense of safety? Which ones impaired your well-being? There was this girl who was my neighbor at one of the foster homes, Savannah began. She was seventeen or eighteen, I think. She's the one who gave me crack for the first time. I was eleven. A flood of images from my everyday life: my daughter and her friends buckled into the backseat of our car and keeling over with laughter while singing a goofy song they've made up for the last day of school;

How I'd knelt beside her, rubbing her back, and how she threw her arms around my neck. Savannah continued talking as I was trying to square the giddy emotion of eleven and a neighbor who gives you crack. I heard her say, Same girl taught me to shoot heroin, but that wasn't until I was thirteen. Pretty much have been using both ever since. Savannah's substance dependency had then altered the course of her life in irrefutable and irrevocable ways. This is soothing. Soothing involves an exchange between mother and child. child is hurt or scared or lonely and full of painful emotion. He also feels that he is very alone with these feelings and that they are bigger than he is. When mother takes him up and rocks him, she takes in her child's scary feelings. The child has a place to put them, with someone who isn't afraid of them. She exchanges these feelings for calmness, repose, and love. It's as if the child dumped some toxic wastes into mom and received good food in return. God is the Great Soother. He longs to comfort our panics and fears: O Jerusalem, Jerusalem. I grew up with that fear, married and had children. Once, much later, I was travelling down south with my parents, and we articleed into a hotel at night. In the morning, I threw open the windows of my room and lo and behold! Right in front, barely ten meters away from me, was a huge place of worship of that religion. I literally froze;

My mother, who saw this change, was most concerned and perplexed. When she asked me the reason, for the first time in my life, I told her about my fear. After thinking over it for some time, she came up with the following explanation. Long ago, when she was pregnant with me, riots broke out in Calcutta. My father, who was studying there, went missing. This can actually put pressure on our most valued personal relationships. The other danger is that the people who love us the most will generally tell us what we want to hear, not what we need to hear. Your Lover has to be someone who is 100 per cent honest with you all the time -- even when it hurts! Their brutal honesty about your behaviour or the decisions you're making can cut you right to the core. This can often be hard to take from a lover in real life. It's not a personal attack; Of course, you may still feel that a family member, friend or even lover fits this role, and that's fine, especially if they are working with you on your business. But I still recommend that after initial selection of your 12 key people you seek out someone else to fulfil this role. It's natural for us to put the needs of others -- our children, partner or staff, for example -- before our own. So our needs get pushed to the back, and we suffer as a result. Successful. I know I am making a positive difference in my family life and my work life. I am doing work that matters and makes a difference, and that is important to me. I am creating a positive, passionate legacy for others to enjoy and benefit from when I am gone. I am recognised as a leading expert in my field, a world-class presenter and facilitator capable of moving people to be more and have more in their lives.