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That's the way I feel when I'm sitting too long, antsy. It is strange that I'm less antsy when we are sitting outside, or in a restaurant, or when we're on vacation. Why? When we're sitting in the house, I feel the office calling me, with all of the things I still need to do. Is that it? Or is there less stimulation in our living room than in those other places? This problem is more than simply a short attention span. Some of it feels physical, like it would be there whether I had anything to do or not. When I look at the appointment book or to-do card it helps me locate myself and then I can sit longer. I'm trying to cutting down on this hyperactivity, with limited success. Just willpower isn't very effective. So, I get antsy if I sit too long with out doing something, something beyond conversation. I need to orient myself with my appointment book and to stay up with that and the to-do list. I'm trying to cut down on that behavior because it bugs my wife. That's ADD. Has someone else been the cause of your disappointment, setback or trauma? Maybe it was a parent who let you down when you were young, a partner who was unfaithful? Perhaps it was a friend or colleague who failed you in some way? Whoever and whatever it was, after your initial disappointment, shock or anger has passed, you're presented with a new challenge: do you forgive the person? Forgiveness means letting go of the resentment, frustration or anger that you feel as a result of someone else's actions.

It involves no longer wanting punishment, revenge or compensation. It means recognizing that you have already been hurt once, so you don't need to let the offence, the hurt and pain keep hurting and distressing you by holding on to it. The first step to communicating clearly is to lower your stress response. This takes you out of fight-or-flight mode and frees up resources for your brain to do its best work. In addressing these questions and others along the same lines, our thinking has been influenced by the teachings and writings of Stephen Batchelor (1998, 2017a) who has promoted the idea of secular Buddhism. Batchelor (2017b), in an article for Tricycle, proposes that we think of the dharma (particularly the Four Noble Truths) as secular, less of a belief system and more as a series of tasks to be accomplished that supports "an ethical space from which to see, think, speak, act, and work in ways that are not conditioned by reactivity" (p. 70). In this context, we would think of "not conditioned" (conditioned being a common concept used in Buddhism) as not being controlled by the causes and conditions that result in reactivity. In navigating these tasks, we can actively employ them as a way of viewing and guiding the relationship we have toward ourselves, others, and our environment. In so doing, the practice of mindfulness becomes an ethical path, a way of being, and a place from which to teach. This is exactly what we are facilitating and embodying when we are teaching Yoga as well as other MBPs. Wear breathable attire made of sweat-resisting fabrics that will draw moisture away from the body, leaving you feeling dry and comfortable. Wear high-quality athletic shoes with flexible soles, appropriate thread for their function, and the ability to absorb impact. Purchase proper headgear, earphones, earplugs, stopwatches, tennis rackets, water aerobic gear, and water bottles. Look your best because that way you will actually feel better about your workout, especially when you are looking in the mirror as you exercise. The systematic influence that clothes have on the wearer's psychological processes is called enclothed cognition. And if you honestly feel that their criticism is unfair and invalid, say so. Calmly tell the other person that you understand that that's their perspective and explain how or why their criticism is unfair or plain wrong. Or say nothing and let it go. Most likely their mind is already made up and if you try to argue you will just be adding fuel to the fire.

You don't have much control over what other people say to you. But you can control whether you respond to it by lashing out, arguing, becoming defensive or crumpling and whether or not you learn from it and move on. Take a pause: If you can, step away from the situation, for example, take a break by yourself, do a different task, or imagine a safe place. This is called an "assertive delay." Even if you can't leave the situation, just counting to ten before you speak can create a gap for you to think things through. I'm using the term ADD, but the official term is ADHD. ADHD has three subtypes: the inattentive type, which most women with ADD have; the hyperactive type, more common in men, and the mixed type, which is what most men with ADD have, including me. We used to think that ADD wore off around puberty, but now we know that often isn't so. I can personally attest to that. But if we have ADHD, usually as we grow past puberty the hyperactivity becomes milder, or maybe we just learn to control it better. With me, the hyperactivity has always been mild. I just have trouble sitting still without doing something: jiggling my foot, scratching my head, tapping the fork or balancing the knife. Or else I'm stretching something, or exercising. Sometimes people, especially my wife, think I'm not paying attention to them when I'm doing my hyperactivity thing, like Daffy with his conversation problem. Or maybe they just find my jiggling or moving distracting and annoying. I've started carrying a wine cork in my pocket. I can pull it out and squeeze it while I am sitting at the table or doing something else that doesn't need my hands. This satisfies the hyperactive need and it's fairly unnoticeable, especially when I do it under the table. theory says that we need this extra stimulation and that it doesn't distract us but actually helps us focus. off the stress: Exercise is a great way to burn off the energy that the stress response brings. example, you could plan to do some movement before or after a difficult conversation.

path provides ethical direction on how to alleviate suffering and is categorized as follows: wisdom (right understanding and intention), conduct (right speech, action, and livelihood), and meditation (right effort, mindfulness, and concentration). practice of mindfulness and active engagement with these tasks becomes a system of self-study, awakening us to our inner wisdom and compassion. a teacher works with them, mindfulness becomes a way of being, and so she embodies the practice. this process unfolds, this inevitably influences how she teaches. then becomes a practice of walking this path. Use relaxation techniques. practice, they can become very quick and reliable ways to calm the body. see Chapter 3 if you would like more information about relaxation and breathing, and a list of websites, CDs and apps that offer guided techniques. yourself: Think calming thoughts like "I can handle this." What body type do you have: ectomorph, mesomorph, or endomorph? did you discover it? What type of results are you looking to achieve by matching your body type to exercise? What type of cardio exercises do you enjoy the most? Why? What do you like about strength training? How do you know if you are doing it correctly? Breathe: Use slow, smooth breaths to calm your body. Using the diaphragm and lower rib muscles to breathe (so that your sides and belly gently rise and fall) sends a powerful "safety signal" to the body and turns off the stress response. It just takes a few breaths to see positive change, and only three minutes to completely turn off the response. All the time you feel unable to forgive, you're holding on to something that happened days, weeks, months or even years ago. But you deserve to be free of this negativity!

Forgiveness is, first and foremost, for your benefit, not the person who hurt or offended you. Forgiveness is for your peace of mind. If you forgive someone, you don't change the past, you change the future. Not forgiving is like deliberately keeping a wound open - it remains raw and it festers. On the other hand, when you forgive, you allow yourself to heal. a very fast eater. That may be from ADD but it's also a learned behavior. As a child I enjoyed my mother's cooking, but I learned that it was a good idea to eat and escape from the table quickly before everything turned ugly, which it always did. So I learned to eat fast. when I'm at the table with my wife or with friends, and I've finished eating, always before anyone else, I get uncomfortable unless I'm doing something. It's difficult to just sit there and pay attention to the conversation. So I'll get something else to eat, which means overeating and gaining weight. But I love diet popsicles, so at home, I have a diet popsicle while my wife's finishing her meal. Of course I can't do that at a restaurant or at someone else's house. Sometimes drinking a glass of water slowly will help, some. Now, if I can remember, I take out the cork and start squeezing it. Then I can sit comfortably and focus on the conversation and it doesn't appear to bother anyone. To come to know the various components of suffering (basically that life is not ideal; it is imperfect) To come to know the causes of this suffering (desire and greed, ignorance or delusion, and destructive urges) To come to know that there can be an end to this pain (or at least it can be mitigated) by letting go of attachment, the need to have and hold onto things, or the requirement that life be different To come to know that there is a prescription (path) that leads to the end of suffering Problem: "What if they don't seem to hear me?"When the other person seems to hear your words differently than you intended, it's worth looking at your body language. Body language means the way you speak, and includes the tone and volume of your voice, facial expression, posture and gestures. Body language can have a big effect on the way people understand the words you say.