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Any child of mine should do well in school/be popular. The Social Domain encompasses the world of relationships, intimate partners, children, in-laws, siblings, extended family members, friends, and social acquaintances. Common social icebergs include: It's my job to make sure people are happy. Although we have much to learn, and our staff functioning is not always what we might hope for, we feel from this experience that we have become more aware of some of the important elements in organizational leadership and administration. Impetus to our own thinking and experimentation has been provided also by the research and theories of others who recently have become interested in these problems. Some of us have drawn upon the ideas of a number of investigators and groups, and reference will be made to them throughout this article. The writer has been influenced by the Tavistock Institute of England, by the group dynamics movement in this country, and by those persons who are responsible for the National Training Laboratory at Bethel, Maine. Finally, motivation for our thinking and work in this area is undoubtedly due also to the challenge which most social scientists feel as they survey the present-day problems of our society. The crucial problems of our civilization are human problems. All of us hope to contribute something to the resolution of the conflicts between different nations, different racial and religious groups, labor and management. We see the tremendous need for discovering ways of increasing the participation of the common citizen in matters which concern him. Gordon Allport has put it well: The battlefield exists here and now within each of us. Experiencing a they're a predator feeling from someone? You won't let them past the door and you'll stay alive. People who don't experience fear or physical pain--and there are some who have a rare genetic defect or brain injury that creates this outcome--have short lifespans. Their broken bones and other health issues go undetected. A painless or fearless life is not something to aspire to. Instead, it's better to build our capacity for managing and learning from our pain.

Fear, shame, anxiety, depression, and hypervigilance can be our friends. Think of a line of dominoes standing up. If you tip one, it initiates a sequence. This is how your brain and your body work, too. I always want people to think the best of me. Avoid conflict at all costs. You can't trust people. I should always be there for the people I love. Spouses/significant others should always put their partner first. The Control Domain involves how you deal with an erratic world, gain mastery over your life, keep to a regimen or schedule, have things turn out the way you want them to, or feel safe and secure. Common control icebergs include thoughts like: Strong people don't ask for help. I can't handle messy situations. Good things happen to good people; The answer to growing complexity in the social sphere is renewed efforts at participation by each one of us, or else a progressive decline of inert and unquestioning masses submitting to government by an elite which will have little regard for the ultimate interest of the common man. SOME PROPOSITIONS REGARDING THE ADJUSTIVE CAPACITY OF GROUPS At this stage of our thinking it would be presumptuous to claim a well-formulated system of theory about groups. Nevertheless, out of our experiences we can begin to construct a tentative outline for a theory that will be consistent with these experiences. Admittedly, this will be a sketchy outline. At present it exists as a mere skeleton, devoid of flesh at many points.

Its inclusion here is based upon the hope that it will make more clear our subsequent formulation of the group-centered approach to leadership and administration. This theoretical basis for thinking about groups will be presented as a series of propositions. Many of these are of the nature of assumptions, and are stated in a form that would make it difficult for them to be tested experimentally. It would be correct to say that these propositions simply represent one of several possible frames of reference for thinking about groups. Some event external to you--a microaggression, insult, hostility--kicks off the line of dominos going from your brain straight through to your sympathetic nervous system. By the way, there's an update to the gym story. My advocacy efforts did have impact. In their words, In our future system roll-outs and upgrades, users will be able to select additional categories other than male or female . Our Equal Opportunity Policy Statement and Restroom and Locker Room Accessibility policies have already been updated to include references to them' orthey. The requests for [gender-inclusive] signage options and lockers in our all-gender bathrooms have been escalated for consideration. I am glad to see change happening and don't want to appear ungrateful. But this particular victory was won at great emotional and biological cost--mine. It would have been a hell of a lot easier if the impetus had come from cis folks. For them, the fight might have been less personal and vulnerable, not triggering as much of a stress response. If you want it done right, do it yourself. The world should be fair. Incompetent people should get out of my way (especially on the road! People should always be on time. I should be allowed to eat/do/buy/wear anything I want. Things should work properly.

There are two ways to identify your personal icebergs: The first option is to look over the common icebergs listed on this article and this article and choose the ones that resonate most for you. Some, because they don't ring true for you, will sound ridiculous and laughable. A person who doesn't have the belief that Failure is a sign of weakness will find that idea preposterous. Just skip over those and keep reading. I) A group is defined as two or more persons who have a psychological relationship to each other. That is, the members exist as a group in the psychological field of each other, and they are in some kind of dynamic relationship to each other. Here we are attempting to set up certain criteria that can be applied to differentiate a group from other collections of individuals. Borrowing from the definition of Krech and Crutchfield (106), a group is made up of persons whose behavior has direct influence upon the behavior of the other members. II) Groups demonstrate during some specific time period some degree of instability or disequilibrium as a result of forces within the group. The group, then, is a dynamic system of forces. Changes in any part of the group produce changes in the group as a whole. This proposition re-emphasizes the notion that the behavior of members of a group affects the behavior of other members. But it also gives to groups the qualities of a system of inner dynamic forces that are in a state of continuous change and reorganization. Take, for example, an industrial organization whose personnel manager decided to introduce a new system of evaluating employees. This is a call for all of us to rise up and champion causes other than our own. To make it easier for you, in the Appendix I've provided materials you can use to educate others. Perhaps you will want to supply your favorite cafe with the fact sheet to help them be more inclusive and inviting with just a simple change in bathroom signage? You might then be more likely to run into me there! Seriously, think about it: These little gestures translate to welcoming more people into our communities, making them so much more interesting. I also want to thank my friends who had my back.

Part of my advocacy included convening an impromptu Social Action Advocacy Coalition and threatening a social media callout against the gym. I'm not sure the company was sufficiently motivated to do the right thing because it was right. However, they did appear to respond to the threat of negative attention. And really, I'm settling by seeing this as a victory. When you find yourself nodding in agreement with one, you'll know you've hit upon one that's true for you. The second option is to think back to a big, emotional situation that came up for you recently. The more recent, the better. Was your reaction out of proportion to the triggering event? If so, that is your signal that there was a larger thought fueling the greater emotion. Often, the thinking happens so fast that we don't see it. But if we slow the thinking down enough, we can see that there's a thought that's being inserted in there that's taking us off course. How to Spot an Iceberg Look for the words must or should. Those are always a good tip-off. According to Proposition II, such action on the part of the personnel manager will produce changes in other parts of the organization. Supervisors may resent the added paper work made necessary by the new procedures; A seemingly isolated act, then, actually upsets the equilibrium of the entire plant structure. III) Group behavior which serves to reduce the disequilibrium produced by changes in the inner forces of the group may be described as adjustive behavior. The degree to which the group's behavior is adjustive will be a function of the appropriateness of the methods employed by the group as they are related to the nature of the internal imbalance. This proposition states in a more technical way a fact which we all recognize.