And it's impossible to actively pursue a goal that doesn't take care of a basic need that is lacking, because you will always feel guilty about spending time on it. If you aren't bringing in enough money to keep food on the table and a roof over your head, you'll feel guilty and selfish if you spend time training to climb Mount Kilimanjaro. Then he'd go home and worry, a lot. The night before his testimony, as you might expect, he was especially on edge. I knew we'd done all we could to prepare him, but I also knew he was nervous. When we hung up, I was nervous--not because I didn't feel confident in our case or our client, but because a client's nerves can look like a lot of things before a jury. With this client, nerves looked like arrogance. The doctor spoke quickly, avoiding eye contact with the jury. He kept his hands on his lap and picked at his nails, looking down as he testified. When he did look up it was to look at John, not at the jury. John carried on, doing his best to show the jury what we saw in this doctor. We knew our doctor was kind, funny, and smart. She offers coaching, hypnotherapy, and meditation programs for personal growth, and for those wanting to clear their blocks and limiting beliefs, experience personal transformation, and achieve career breakthroughs. Her passion is helping women get out of their own way and stop sabotaging themselves to create a life and career they love. This quote helped me realize that S I've already made it through the toughest times in my life, and I will get through the next challenging time as well. I've had several of the same experiences as many of you? I'll admit when these situations arose in the past, I felt they were happening to me. I'd say things like: What did I do to deserve this? Why is life so hard? Was it my fault, or do I get to blame someone else?

Some events took months or years to get over, only to reinforce my victim mentality of how challenging and unfair life can be. Now, as I reflect on the hardest times in my life, I can see the reason for going through these struggles. I have finally stopped looking around when I leave my house or work. I've stopped feeling nervous about private calls. And most importantly, I finally have more peaceful days than ones with anxiety and depression. I made a commitment to do everything that I always wanted and not ever put up with crap from a man again. I strive every day to love myself. And I'm learning to do just that. kids are so happy. story hits hard on the biggest problem with bad seeds, which is that they prevent us from being the best version of ourselves. They do this in three ways: they make us timid, they make us doubt, and they make us mistrust. It's almost impossible to get where you want to go if these three conditions have a big place in your life. If you're overweight and out of shape and struggling to perform normal daily tasks, you might not feel guilty or selfish about working toward becoming a Grandmaster, but you should. Sometimes it's obvious we're being selfish. Other times selfishness is harder to spot. Take me. I'm not a go to the doctor kind of guy. I don't get regular checkups; I get a physical only when one is required for another reason. I don't go to the doctor for injuries unless my wife makes me;

I figure time heals all wounds. I didn't even want to go to the hospital when I had a heart attack. John asked him about his education, and why he'd chosen oncology as a specialty. John was trying to put him at ease before he got into the crux of the case, a conversation during which the patient claimed the doctor hadn't given her key information about the medication he'd recommended. That medication had side effects, and those side effects had led her to lose her leg. If the jury believed the doctor, we'd win the case. If they believed the patient, we'd lose. John asked the question, tall and proud, with quiet confidence. Did you tell her about the risks of this medication? Thank God the jury wasn't looking at me. I know that I visibly flinched. I jerked my head, tensed my body, and grimaced in frustration. I'm full of gratitude for the ability to see the benefits of those hard times, and even when I can't, I still have faith. It is powerful to know I can rise above any situation and look at it from a different perspective. I can be grateful for the blessings that I know will come from all experiences. I've decided that I want to live a life with as little regret as possible. I've found the best way to achieve this is to have gratitude for all experiences and release the need to label them as good or bad. In the end, they shape who we are and give us the ability to love and accept ourselves. However, when mistakes are made by me or others, I try to forgive myself and them as quickly as possible. In doing this, I'm releasing judgments that do not add value to any situation.

It's a far better life when we see through the eyes of gratitude and forgiveness. When we know better, we do better! If you're timid, you're not going to put yourself out there and go after the opportunities that could take you to someplace great. If you have doubt, you might decide that your ambitions are nothing but crazy fantasies, and you'll wind up settling for much less than what you're capable of having. if you mistrust, you won't open your heart to people who actually deserve your trust. One of the things I always say to people is that they can't let the heart that didn't love them keep them from the hearts that will. Yes, it's important to protect yourself from hurt, but if your history causes you to protect yourself so much that you never let anyone in, then that history has done far too much damage. You will need to deal with that. While a lot of the seeds that get planted in us are planted when we are young, they are definitely not the only ones. In fact, new seeds are planted in you just about every day. You could see something on television that has an effect on your confidence, your body image, your sense of how the world works. You could run into a friend on the street who asks you a question that makes you wonder how people perceive you and what they say about you when you're not around. So where having a colonoscopy was concerned . It was the last thing I wanted to do, even though colon cancer is the second leading cause of cancer death. And even though screening for colon cancer is recommended for people once they hit age fifty--because 90 percent of new cases occur in people fifty and older--and I was (cough) fifty-four. And even though colorectal cancer almost always develops from precancerous polyps in the colon. And even though a colonoscopy allows a physician to detect and remove precancerous polyps before they turn into cancer. But I didn't want one. Then my wife finally said, I know you're rationalizing that you don't need a colonoscopy, but you're being selfish: There's me, there are our kids, and you now have a grandson. Lots of people want you to be around for a long time.

you think about it that way, are you really saying that getting a colonoscopy is just too much of a bother? Well, yes, in so many words that was what I had been saying. John did not. John asked, still quiet and serene. His serenity finally sparked something in the doctor, who realized his mistake and corrected it. It was more than a discussion. It was a conversation, one that went on over many visits and many telephone calls. With that, the doctor's body language changed. He began to connect with the jury, leaning forward and using his hands. He smiled as he described the positive interactions he'd had with his patient. He dropped his shoulders and slowed his speech. With each change, the jury responded. I believe this quote. Accepting our situations and using the power of gratitude and forgiveness, propels us to greater heights than we could imagine. I've discovered a daily routine that has delivered the gracious gift of gratitude in my life. These are several simple steps I've devised that have made a great difference. Every morning I say a prayer of gratitude, and over time it has become a kind of mantra. I'll add to it if there is something special happening that day. Each night I either go onto my grateful app or journal what I'm grateful for from that day. It's short and sweet and allows me to end the day on a positive note.