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Observe your energy change. In this way, you can always restore yourself to neutrality, to an internal balance where you then have access to the flow of external energy as well. Bold acts of courage, personally and politically, require a commitment to acting wisely and well. You don't just hold your nose, close your eyes, and jump. Sometimes courageous acts of change need to be plotted, strategized, and planned. Choosing silence over speech, so that I could become a more effective agent of change, took all my courage. The Costs of Silence Sam, a psychiatrist friend of mine, faced the opposite challenge in his organization on the East Coast. He was high up in the hierarchy of a major psychoanalytic institute and had some clout to change things, but his anxiety silenced him. When stress hit, his automatic style was to become conciliatory, conflict-avoidant, and accommodating. He resisted voicing ideas that would make him the target of other people's anger or disapproval. His work system was his family, and he was afraid to threaten his inside position in the group by voicing dissent. What would a friend or family member say? Do body stats feature on our CVs? The food we eat has almost become an extension of our identity, but how many of your family or friends, if asked to recount your personal qualities, would describe your food intake, what you look like or how much you weigh as your defining feature? She eats clean and is really ripped. Similarly, if you are applying for a job, how many prospective employers wish to hear that you avoid carbs' and will make a judgement of you based on that? <a href=''>Do</a> your dietary choices have a bearing on how able you are to do your job? <a href=''>If</a> other people don't see the food you eat as an extension of your identity, why do you? <a href=''>Get</a> rid of those objects that tell you what and how much you can eat. <br /><br /><a href=''>A</a> slave to apps? <a href=''>Delete</a> food-tracking apps that hold you accountable for every bite. <a href=''>Choose</a> the answer that best describes how you would respond. <a href=''>Try</a> to make the feeling go away. <a href=''>Concentrate</a> really hard until your hands stop shaking. <a href=''>Focus</a> on your breathing. <a href=''>Take</a> slow, deep breaths in between each thing you say. <a href=''>Think</a> about what might happen if you don't do the job your teacher asked you to do. <a href=''>Try</a> to do everything like your classmate did the last time she showed a new student around. <a href=''>The</a> best answer is b. <a href=''>Now,</a> let's find out why! <a href=''>The</a> best first step is to think about your breathing. <a href=''>Depression</a> is what some have called the dark night of the soul. <a href=''>You</a> believe you don't know how to go forward, don't have the strength to continue, and have no direction. <a href=''>You</a> may feel hopeless and helpless. <a href=''>You</a> may be tempted to rage and storm or collapse and give up. <a href=''>Despair</a> is an incredibly disturbing experience. <a href=''>Yet</a> it is something everyone has or will encounter. <a href=''>It</a> can also be a deeply enlightening time of epiphany. <a href=''>When</a> we feel at our lowest, we face the inevitable opportunity to get through it anyway. <br /><br /><a href=''>It's</a> the basis of the motto for Alcoholics Anonymous--one day at a time. <a href=''>You</a> get through this moment, this hour, this day, this week, this month. <a href=''>In</a> its different types, relaxation training is most commonly used as an adjunctive technique, consisting of one part of a comprehensive treatment program. <a href=''>Relaxation</a> training may also help promote contact with a client who may be too tense or nervous about communicating efficiently with the therapist during a counseling session. <a href=''>In</a> conjunction with systematic desensitization, relaxation training (mostly progressive muscle relaxation) is often used, a technique designed to alleviate fear or anxiety towards a particular stimulus (or stimuli) by combining the feared stimulus or thoughts of the feared stimulus with relaxation. <a href=''>It</a> is crucial to choose practices in patients' wellbeing and their daily lives, families, cultures, and belief systems when prescribing relaxation strategies for muscle relaxation using cognitive behavior therapy for alcohol addiction to patients as part of their treatment plan. <a href=''>Progressive</a> Muscle Relaxation shows you how to relax your muscles as you get rid of alcoholic addiction by cognitive behavioral therapy. <a href=''>Second,</a> in your body, you systematically tense unique muscle groups, such as your neck and shoulders. <a href=''>Next,</a> as you relax them, you release the tension and note how the muscles feel. <a href=''>This</a> exercise will help you minimize your overall tension and stress levels and help you relax when you feel nervous. <a href=''>As</a> well as improving your sleep, it can also help alleviate physical symptoms such as stomachaches and headaches. <a href=''>People</a> with anxiety disorders are often so tense during the day that they don't realize what it feels like to be calm. <a href=''>Most</a> people are not good listeners because they aren't fully present in the moment. <a href=''>Physically</a> they are there, but their minds wander. <a href=''>For</a> example, during a meeting, they might be thinking: What time is this meeting going to end? <a href=''>I</a> wonder what's for dinner tonight. <a href=''>I</a> wonder what's on television. <a href=''>Oh,</a> that's right; <a href=''>I've</a> got to pick up my dry cleaning today. <a href=''>They</a> don't pay attention to the presenter, because they are not in the moment. <br /><br /><a href=''>When</a> you listen to someone, make sure you are in the moment both physically and mentally. <a href=''>Well-timed</a> silence hath more eloquence than speech. <a href=''>Then</a> it will become your go-to answer. <a href=''>You</a> will start to think of different excuses for it--not feeling well, being tired, not having slept well, and more. <a href=''>Sleep</a> is particularly affected by this. <a href=''>If</a> you do not go out and do anything, you do not expend any energy. <a href=''>When</a> this happens, it will cause you to be unable to sleep at night. <a href=''>As</a> a result, you will be awake at absurd hours of the night. <a href=''>This</a> will cause you to have to sleep until a very late hour of the morning or even until the afternoon. <a href=''>However,</a> you did not get quality sleep. <a href=''>You</a> merely passed out after having been awake for too long. <a href=''>This</a> means you will wake up feeling groggy and irritable. <a href=''>Internal</a> awareness raises external awareness. <a href=''>We</a> are then able to feel and sense the currents of things as they want to go, so that we needn't push against them. <a href=''>So</a> much of our suffering comes from resisting life as it is. <a href=''>This</a> state of being in the flow as described above, and hopefully experienced by you in the exercise, we will call spiritual fitness. <a href=''>Learning</a> to be simply observant of what is while remaining mentally neutral is a vital aspect of our good health and our well-being. <a href=''>Such</a> a position allows for flexibility and curiosity and welcomes the unexpected. <a href=''>It</a> sustains us and supports us as we explore the world and as we experience what life has to offer us on a daily basis. <a href=''>Another</a> way to think of this is to have and maintain an open mind. <br /><br /><a href=''>How</a> We Feel about <a href=''>Ourselves</a> and the Way We Eat <a href=''>For</a> example, Sam was developing a keen interest in spirituality as it applied to the process of psychoanalysis. <a href=''>Fearing</a> that his more conservative and scientifically minded colleagues would disapprove, he kept these ideas to himself. <a href=''>He</a> worried about harming his credibility by being seen as flaky. <a href=''>Shame</a> also silenced him, not that Sam ever used that word. <a href=''>But</a> shame lurks beneath our social fears and concerns about our own adequacy. <a href=''>In</a> his work setting, as in mine, a premium was placed on being highly articulate. <a href=''>A</a> number of professionals on staff spoke with such eloquence and wit that Sam told me he often wanted to write their words down and read them over simply for pleasure. <a href=''>But</a> that was their gift, not his. <a href=''>Sam's</a> gift was, among other things, his limber, creative brain. <a href=''>The</a> higher Sam climbed in the organization, the more risky it felt to share a half-formulated thought at a meeting, or to speak without being well-spoken. <a href=''>A</a> slave to a diet plan? <a href=''>Has</a> this plan been devised for anyone and everyone? <a href=''>Who</a> has created this for you? <a href=''>Have</a> you even met them? <a href=''>Is</a> it based on a common assumption thateveryone wants to be beach body ready' or that `everyone wants to shift the Christmas bulge'? A slave to your kitchen scales? Limit your use of kitchen scales to only the absolutely essential, to execute a recipe rather than as a tool to limit your portion size. A slave to your bathroom scales?