The word confront means to face. It is a relational term, and its purpose is to bring reality to a relationship to foster intimacy. The goal is not alienation but closeness; The stockpile belongs to your new mothering relationships. For example, confrontation may mean bringing up mom's detachment and how it affected you. Without being consciously aware of it, we can grow more attached to what others think of us -- or what we think they think -- than what we think of ourselves. In doing so, we surrender our power to the opinion of others and we let them play us small. What will everyone think of my outfit? What will everyone think of me ending my marriage? What will everyone think of me quitting my job, or starting a business, or being open about my sexuality? The funny thing is that psychologists have found that, for most people, our everybody' consists of about five or six people. <a href=''>That</a> is, we aren't concerned about whateveryone' in the world will think; But regardless of who makes up your everybody', the only worthy answer to the questionWhat will everybody think? While some of the people we want approval from may be those whose opinions we respect, too often they're people driven by their own fears and insecurities. Bending yourself inside out to appease the naysayers in your life will leave you not only playing small, but on a sure course to resentment, regret or both. Who packs your proverbial parachute and looks out for you when you make the jump at those critical moments in your personal and professional life? They may not share the spotlight with you, but they are absolutely riding shotgun alongside you. They go that extra mile, they look out for you mentally, physically and spiritually -- because they care about you. They understand your dreams, goals and aspirations, and they encourage you to move forward while at the same time being very aware of where you are right now and what you have to focus on and deliver in the present. Like a Formula One pit stop, your crew can make or break a race.

They fuel your resilience, polish your tough exterior and keep you match-fit for survival and success. When the white flag is waved, you need to dig deep and find the determination to keep going. You need to remain strong and focused on your vision in the face of any challenges or slips along the way. In her 2007 report Grit: Perseverance and Passion for Long-Term Goals', American psychologist Angela Duckworth shares the story of cadets who join the US military academy at West Point and are put through their paces in the Beast Barracks initiative program. <a href=''>This</a> program tests their physical, emotional and mental strength. <a href=''>Whatever</a> driving emotion propels you to be the best you that you can be, you need to combine it with high self-confidence, self-worth and self-belief. <a href=''>Over</a> the next couple of articles I will show you a simple way to determine what is truly important for you to feel, have and do. <a href=''>Your</a> core emotions <a href=''>These</a> are the emotions that you experience day by day and week by week. <a href=''>They</a> define your natural persona, whether that is happy, organised, caring, conscious or focused. <a href=''>Sometimes</a> they are positive and uplifting for your spirit and soul; <a href=''>You</a> know when it is happening. <a href=''>You</a> may be under pressure, unsure, tired or committed to something you don't believe in. <a href=''>Unfortunately</a> it is hard to stop these emotions from coming to the surface. <a href=''>Your</a> general emotions <a href=''>Why</a> We Need to Do Something Quick: Diseases Both Physical and Mental <a href=''>The</a> cost of working days lost in Europe as a result of stress is estimated to be more than 20 billion euros <a href=''>Although</a> short-term stress can benefit the immune system and speed up its responses (for example, healing wounds), chronic stress worsens the impact of infectious diseases and gives you a predisposition to many chronic diseases and other conditions. <a href=''>Compared</a> to the damage caused by stress, smoking might actually be less harmful . <a href=''>The</a> breakdown of the immune system is the culprit behind many of the diseases above, and stress contributes to this by disrupting the interaction between the nervous and the immune systems. <br /><br /><a href=''>The</a> purpose of mindfulness is to lower stress levels by altering our relationship to stress for the better. <a href=''>A</a> large body of research documents the effectiveness of MBCT in the treatment of substance abuse, for eating disorders and chronic pain, to improve immune function and reduce blood pressure and cortisol levels. <a href=''>Not</a> only is MBCT successful in the treatment of disorders, it has positive effects on psychological well-being. <a href=''>Let</a> me run through some of the consequences of stress in more detail. <a href=''>Let's</a> make one thing clear: we're not just addicted to drugs, sex or alcohol, we can also get addicted to our thoughts and feelings of panic, anxiety and despair. <a href=''>There</a> can never be any real negative consequence to any positive effort that we make to grow beyond our present limitations. <a href=''>The</a> fear we feel that we can't succeed or start life all over again is because our old nature wants us to believe that the path to a new self requires that we retrace our steps and fight our way back to an unsoiled starting place in life. <a href=''>But</a> here's the truth: There is no pathway, past or future, that leads to real self-newness. <a href=''>The</a> secret place of all fresh starts in life unfolds right from where we are, here, in each moment that we will dare to leave who we have been behind us. <a href=''>Let</a> Go and Know the Peace of Now <a href=''>Have</a> you ever watched a mother hold her new child, or seen a doe gently nuzzle her fawn as it stood there balancing on uncertain legs? <a href=''>Did</a> you ever stand outside in the still air washed clean by the passage of a spring storm, or feel yourself moved by the sight of tall trees swaying in a summer's breeze? <a href=''>Maybe</a> your imagination has been caught and held still as you stood looking out over a rugged seacoast, or you've found your attention willingly arrested by some late-afternoon light whose colors made heaven seem not so far away. <a href=''>All</a> moments like these share a quality of quietness that is timeless, even as they whisper these traits to us in the perfectly present Now. <a href=''>And</a> for those of us fortunate enough to hear these secrets, we know that more is gleaned from them than words may portray. <a href=''>What</a> are you doing? <a href=''>Pop-up</a> philosophy, I replied. <a href=''>What's</a> that? <a href=''>We</a> encourage people to take some time out of their day to think. <a href=''>I</a> was not sure where the we came from. <br /><br /><a href=''>I</a> seemed to speak in a new tone of confidence when imagining myself as Aristotle. <a href=''>How</a> long will you be here? <a href=''>I'll</a> be gone in an hour. <a href=''>They</a> seemed pleased with my answers and left me alone. <a href=''>During</a> the next hour I met a hedge fund manager, two technology entrepreneurs, and a few others who preferred to remain anonymous. <a href=''>The</a> subject was dropped. <a href=''>I</a> felt like a troublemaker, doubted my perceptions, until a few months later. <a href=''>My</a> parents received an overseas call: Eric had killed himself. <a href=''>Mother</a> and Dad were dumbfounded because Eric's bravado had so successfully masked his depression. <a href=''>For</a> me, this news was a creepily unnerving validation I'd rather not have had. <a href=''>I</a> had no way of framing it as an affirmation of my maturing sensitivity. <a href=''>Ultimately,</a> my parents wrote off my forecast as a peculiar coincidence. <a href=''>Much</a> as they adored me, they didn't know what emotional energy was, why I sensed it, or how to support my intuitive abilities. <a href=''>Now,</a> as an Energy Psychiatrist, I want to convey to you that emotions are intuitively palpable; <a href=''>I'd</a> like you to begin to think of emotions in terms of subtle energy, a vibe emanating from yourself and others, an intimate sensing. <a href=''>He</a> looks up again, adds, I didn't want to accept what was happening. <a href=''>I</a> wanted to be with my grandma. <a href=''>Not</a> with these white people bringing me to school. <a href=''>I</a> discovered basketball--that was good. <a href=''>Basketball</a> was such an important thing in my life that I started wanting to do good in school. <br /><br /><a href=''>I</a> made the honor roll. <a href=''>But</a> I could only stay in the group home until age fourteen. <a href=''>I</a> went back to live with my auntie. <a href=''>I</a> made the varsity team as a freshman. <a href=''>But</a> I started getting hooked up with the wrong people in the neighborhood--drinking, cigarettes, marijuana. <a href=''>You</a> might say something like, I need to explain what your emotional absence was like for me, so we can reconcile it and get on with our present relationship. <a href=''>Once</a> you've explained the hurt and loss, mom can see how she might have injured you. <a href=''>Then</a> it's up to you to forgive and move on. <a href=''>In</a> addition, if mom is interested in more dialogue, you could also talk about her feelings toward you and your responses to her mothering. <a href=''>This</a> would give her the opportunity to forgive you for the times you withdrew from her attempts to move toward you. <a href=''>Even</a> as children we sometimes make destructive choices that hurt our parents. <a href=''>Either</a> way, confrontation's goal is to bring the unredeemed past into relationship, work through it, and finally put it aside. <a href=''>Acceptance</a> of reality. <a href=''>One</a> of the most important and most difficult jobs of your growth process is to accept the realities of who mom is. <a href=''>If</a> mom isn't interested in a deeper, safer relationship and wants to remain disconnected and shallow, you need to respect her limitations and face reality. <a href=''>Because</a> no matter what you do there will be some people who will find fault with it. <a href=''>That's</a> not because you're not good enough; <a href=''>As</a> Marianne Williamson wrote,There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you'. Not only is your everybody' a few billion people less thanevery body', but research shows that we assume `everybody' even cares about what we're doing. In fact, studies have found that we assume we're getting about twice as much attention as we really are.