firmly believes that she deserves all the extra attention that she demands. One can easily imagine her saying: Of course, they should wheel me around when my feet hurt, I'm Mariah Carey! Don't they know who I am? A major component of this thinking is an absolute lack of concern for the time, needs, or feelings of others. In fact, she often winds up treating the people who work for her as slaves and those who don't as irrelevant. When she is called on her behavior, such as her last-minute refusal to perform one year at Times Square on New Year's Eve after a technical issue cropped up, she does nothing to help the situation and everything she can to shift blame and come across as a victim. Kanye West is another musician famous for their narcissistic behavior. Like Donald Trump, he can often be heard talking up his own talent and intelligence while criticizing others in painful and often bizarre ways. She took a nap after work yesterday. Why did she take a nap after work? She was watching her nephew. Why was she tired of watching her nephew? They played a lot. Asking yourself the simple question why will bring you back to the root cause of the problem. If you know the reason, you can start to fix the problem. Starting to solve a problem takes several different aspects of looking at the problem. We have to gather data and the facts (analytical) and determine what the best solution to the problem would be by looking at all perspectives. Using a new way to look at the problem will teach you how to think outside the box, these ideas can come from others or within you. Dr Matt took that last comment as an opportunity to clarify: You may be getting ahead of yourself here, Jake. The anger could be how you thought about the bodily reactions.

Do you recall the actual reactions inside your body? Well, I felt hot, like a fire. Better: that's a physical reaction, not a cognitive one. And while I hate to nitpick, this is a very important difference that we can get to in a minute. Thanks, Jake. What about you, Felicia? What was your physical reaction? She started to respond but hesitated, her chin sank to her chest, and she mumbled so that most could not hear. He sees himself as a great authority, the smartest guy in the room, someone whose opinion carries a lot of weight. Perhaps the most famous episode of this was during Taylor Swift's acceptance speech at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards. That was his opinion, and while Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It) is a great song, West's opinion regarding who should have won was not shared by the VMA judges. We can debate the merits of their choice, but what is indisputable is the fact that this was Swift's moment and Kanye destroyed it because he felt that his opinion was far more important than her accomplishment, in effect that he was far more important than her. The audience reaction, booing and heckling him, was met with a shrug as he gave the microphone back to a humiliated Taylor Swift and left the stage. He had accomplished what he'd wanted at Taylor Swift's expense and didn't care what anyone thought about it, demonstrating in no uncertain terms that as far as Kanye West is concerned, the world revolves around him. West also tends to associate with other narcissists, including Donald Trump, and married into a family of narcissists, the Kardashians, people who are famous, not for anything they've accomplished, but for simply being who they are, appearing on reality TV and releasing material on social media, sometimes very controversial material, simply to increase their reach, their influence, and their fame. Jim Jones was the leader of the People's Temple, a Christian cult he started in the United States in the 1960s, later moving to Guyana with his followers to start Jonestown in the 1970s. It was there, after the murder of Congressman Leo Ryan and several others who were trying to leave the cult at Guyana's Port Kaituma airstrip, that he orchestrated a mass murder/suicide of over 900 of his followers. Professor Gary Maynard a sociologist at Stony Brook University in Stony Brook New York has studied Jones, comparing his behavior with the definition of narcissistic personality disorder found in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Decision-making is finding the best solution for a situation or issue by using beliefs, facts, values that align with you. It reflects what beliefs, perspectives, values, and how emotionally involved you are with the situation.

The above factors all play a part in the final decision. Decision-making and problem-solving are not the same, as problem-solving facts and data are the main elements with no emotions or judgment. Decision-making emotions are part of the decision. Jason was offered a new position across the country, doing a different job completely. His emotions will play a part in the decision because he will be leaving his home town to pursue this job. It can be scary to leave everything you have known. Decision-making is more personal and tailored to you. It will ultimately be your decision. I felt frozen. I was heavy. I could not move. Under the top box, Handling Hunter, Dr Matt added a second box containing a list of Physical Reactions: Heart Pounding, Holding Breath, Flight, Fight, Frozen. Wow, he noted, all of you have covered every part of the Flight or Fight reaction, including the third `F'--Freeze. This is what the body is meant to do when stress is happening. It helps protect us and keeps us focused on coming up with a healthy response to the stressor. But quite quickly, we begin to use our verbal/cognitive skills to evaluate, interpret, appraise, or think about what is happening. Dr Matt turned to the whiteboard and added a diagonal arrow and a box to this Stress Coping Cycle. Many times, the self-talk is merely a description of what is happening, but sometimes it is a value judgment that can be either negative and harmful, or positive and helpful. The first characteristic of narcissism is having a grandiose sense of self-importance, Jones clearly used his talents of speaking and preaching to show and display to others his superiority and self-importance. He told Hue Fortson and others in the group, If you see me as your savior, I will be your savior.

If you see me as your God, then I'll be your God (The Life and Death of Peoples Temple, PBS). The great majority of people in this world would not say these types of things or even think them. Jones not only thought about himself in this manner, but he spoke these things to his followers. Because he was charming and successful early on, many in the group did not challenge him on this arrogant behavior, even though most Christians consider pride to be a deadly sin. That charm and early success were real. Before the move to Jonestown, Jones saw himself as a rising political powerbroker in California with access to politicians like Governor Jerry Brown and San Francisco Assemblyman Willie Brown, both of whom were very impressed with what Jones had done with the People's Temple. Once he and his followers were ensconced in Jonestown, he sat in authority over everyone and everything, awash in his own delusions of limitless power in which the laws of man no longer applied to him. Jones was father, king, savior, socialist hero, and a god to his followers, or at least that is what he wanted them to believe. Rational decision making is how the majority of the population creates a solution. Weighing the options and viewing the pros and cons to decide on the correct decision for them. This decision-making style uses the facts and information and logical thinking to create a solution that will be the right answer based on the facts that have been given. His decision will be based on facts and what each company has to offer. Deciding the pros and cons of each company and place will help Joe make a clear decision on what job to take. When making a rational decision, the first thing you will have to do is define the problem. In Joe's case, it was where to live and what company to choose. After the problem is determined, the next step will be to ask yourself a series of questions that will promote the outcome of the decision. Looking at the choices and how it will affect others is the third part of rational thinking. Including others that will be affected by this decision is part of the process that may make it a little harder. What say you, guys? What were you thinking as this episode unfolded?

And remember, a lot of times, the thinking is so overlearned that it is automatic. In other words, it is played in your head so fast that you don't even know you are thinking it until the stressful episode is over and you realize you thought this way or that way. Remember the tape recording on super-high speed? The members nodded. So, what were the thoughts you were having tonight? They formulated their responses as they examined the partially completed figure on the whiteboard. Dr Matt added another box under and to the right of the Physical Reactions box. An arrow pointed from the upper box diagonally to the new box. He had recordings of his voice going 24 hours a day with the loudspeakers permeating the whole camp so that even those working in the fields and sleeping at night could hear him. Being in their company made him look powerful and connected, which then fed his narcissistic view of himself even further. As for the unworthy, followers and outsiders alike, he had no empathy or concern for them beyond what they could do to support him. Jones' followers were made to suffer physical, emotional, and sexual abuse, public humiliation, and those who wanted to leave the group were threatened with death. As for outsiders, they were the enemy, the evil that he and his followers had to fight for their own salvation if not the good of the world. This is a common thing among cults, the demonization of the outsider, as it serves to give the followers something to focus on outside the way they are treated by the cult's leader. Jones' need for feelings of power and importance was so extreme that any threat to his delusions, whether from disaffected former People's Temple members or from outsiders, had to be met with violence. When he perceived himself and his followers under attack from outside forces - disaffected former members, relatives of Jonestown residents, the press and the government - he threatened retaliation. Ultimately, Jones' fear that Congressman Ryan - and the others who would inevitably follow - would pull the group apart led him to order the shootings at the Port Kaituma airstrip and the mass murder-suicide in Jonestown. Are All Narcissists Bad? The fourth step is to create an alternative list. A list you may not use but, other options that you could consider.