Don't tolerate being absent, late, and not keeping commitments. Don't tolerate dishonorable, disrespectful, and disgraceful behavior. Don't tolerate having a victim mindset. Don't tolerate losing because you didn't strategize, prepare, and make an effort. Don't tolerate excuses, stories, and blame for why a goal wasn't reached and a target wasn't hit. Don't tolerate anything that is unproductive, counterproductive, and a waste of time. Strong emotions could include anxiety, anger, or severe emotional distress. Sometimes you may be frightened by the strength of the emotion you feel; for example, being overwhelmed with fear. Being around an anxious person can be difficult, as anxiety can often be felt by others and this can either make the other person feel anxious or make them cut the contact short as they find it an uncomfortable emotion. It is easier to handle strong emotions if you make a point of acknowledging them. If you suppress feelings, never admitting them to yourself or others, they get stored. Sooner or later there is simply too much stored emotion and the natural suppression mechanism stops working and a sudden outpouring takes place. Some people believe they should let all their emotions show all the time. These people lack emotional intelligence as they influence other people's attitudes towards them by being overly dramatic and emotional. There are, of course, times when strong emotions are understandable; for example, if you had just had bad news or if you needed to defend yourself against violent attack. Think of the last time you experienced a strong emotion - what had happened? What did you feel? How did you deal with your emotion and what was the outcome? When you have completed the exercise, look at your reactions and ask yourself whether you are happy with what you did. If you are not happy what you could have done differently?

Self-control means you're responsible for yourself. You're controlling your thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and habits and not letting them steer you in the wrong direction or get too extreme. You're pulling back when you're doing too much and pushing when you're not doing enough. You're calculating in what you say, what you do, and the timing. Respect yourself and the world will have more respect for you. Get better at controlling yourself and "bad luck" and unfortunate things will be less likely to happen to you. If you have the ability to read and understand other people's emotions you have a great advantage in influencing people's attitudes towards you. Reading emotions means: People's body language and voice tone tell you a lot about how they are feeling and your body language is also a way of communicating. Anxious people often hide away from others - they avert their gaze and look to the floor or they try to make themselves as small as they can in the hope they will not be noticed. What do the words tell you? Sometimes people tell you what they are feeling (e.g., I feel scared about trying that'). <a href=''>If</a> you think of the words you use what impact do you think they have? <a href=''>What</a> do they say about you? <a href=''>Empathy,</a> as we explored earlier, is the ability to imagine what it might be like to see the world wearing someone else's shoes. <a href=''>Empathy</a> can be expressed through statements such asYou sound sad about that' and I imagine you were really scared'. <a href=''>Strong</a> emotions can be disturbing for both the person experiencing them and for those around at the time. <a href=''>Many</a> people feel uncomfortable with expressing emotions or being around people who are expressing them. <a href=''>What</a> stress really is, however, is not just a sense of putting in a lot of effort at something, but the sense that something in our lives is beyond our control. <a href=''>When</a> people spend large parts of their lives without a sense of basic control over what is happening to them, this can lead to what physicians call toxic stress. <a href=''>This</a> can be very bad for your overall mental wellbeing because it holds the brain in a state of constant "fight or flight" response and prevents you from performing the other cognitive tasks that are essential to higher functioning and human happiness. <br /><br /><a href=''>(For</a> this reason, children who experience poverty, hunger, abuse, or other forms of deprivation often have a harder time concentrating at school than their peers, and may fall behind their classmates, compounding the other difficulties they face.) Prolonged or toxic levels of stress may be caused by poverty or financial difficulties, conflict or instability in core interpersonal relationships, abusive or controlling partners or ex-partners, unhealthy and exploitative work environments, and similar situations in which we feel we are losing control of our lives. <a href=''>Self-respect</a> and self-control means having boundaries - you're "bound" and limited, for good reason, to certain thoughts, beliefs, behaviors, and habits and going beyond these borders is unacceptable. <a href=''>These</a> boundaries come from experience and seeing that once you go too far in any direction, it only produces negative results. <a href=''>Your</a> boundaries are comprised of ethics, values, principles, and other strong beliefs about how you should conduct yourself and how others should conduct themselves around you. <a href=''>Beliefs</a> designed to lead you to straight to the outcomes you want. <a href=''>So</a> far we have discussed the qualities, circumstances, and outside factors that can contribute to dangerous drug use and dependence, but what are the solutions? <a href=''>The</a> United States has pursued ineffective, costly, and deadly policies in addressing our ongoing drug crisis. <a href=''>We</a> can call those policies fail first, borrowing the term from the management practices often used by insurers, HMOs, managed care, and pharmacy benefit medications with subscribers (patients in need). <a href=''>Often</a> called step therapy, this requires that a patient fail on one of a selected group of medications in a class before the payer will cover the cost of a more expensive, but potentially more effective, agent. <a href=''>This</a> practice is terribly maddening to patients, families, and doctors, who especially rebel against rules made for them by proprietary companies driven by financial incentives. <a href=''>In</a> human costs of persistent disease and suffering, fail first can sometimes be penny wise and pound foolish, especially in mental health. <a href=''>The</a> medical and business costs, in emergency-room visits and hospital stays as well as absenteeism and reduced productivity, often outweigh any savings generated by the fail-first gauntlet. <a href=''>Some</a> states have limited the classes of drugs, for example the antipsychotic medications, that can be put into step-therapy programs, though that does not mean offensive delays in treatment are eliminated. <a href=''>The</a> United States has pursued a similar policy, with even greater consequences and over a longer time, against the persistent, exploding problem of drug use. <a href=''>Thus</a> far, the principal policy and practice approaches to the illegal use of drugs have been control and consequences. <a href=''>In</a> the case of anxiety disorders in general, the reasons why some people and not others develop panic disorders are not easy to pin down. <a href=''>Your</a> panic attacks may be related to other anxiety or depression-related disorders; if you suffer from PTSD, these attacks may have been triggered by a past traumatic event; they may be the result of genetic factors or elements of your current lifestyle; they may be due to nothing more than your individual personality traits. <a href=''>What</a> boundaries are you putting in place for yourself and others? <a href=''>What</a> do you consider unacceptable? <a href=''>What</a> is right and wrong? <br /><br /><a href=''>What</a> thoughts, behaviors, and habits are highly valuable? <a href=''>What</a> principles guide your thoughts, emotions, behavior, and habits? <a href=''>Identify</a> and reinforce them. <a href=''>Prolonged</a> stress of any kind has been linked to panic disorder, and it is important to understand what I mean by "stress" in a therapeutic context. <a href=''>Many</a> of us refer to being "stressed out" loosely in contexts where we are working hard and feel very busy. <a href=''>Your</a> ethics are how tightly you follow what's considered right and wrong by the majority of society. <a href=''>If</a> you're very ethical, your ethical boundary stops you from doing things that are considered ethically wrong. <a href=''>If</a> you're unethical and lacking that ethical boundary, you're ignoring what society considers ethically wrong. <a href=''>It</a> has no influence in your decision-making process. <a href=''>Your</a> values are standards, or boundaries, of behavior and personal judgment that you place value on. <a href=''>That</a> you find important and hold in high regard. <a href=''>Anything</a> outside of these boundaries are unacceptable. <a href=''>Your</a> principles are your foundational and fundamental beliefs, reasons, and judgments for thoughts, behaviors, and habits. <a href=';url='>They're</a> boundaries of meaning. <a href=''>You</a> don't sleep with another man's wife because of your principle boundary and belief that it's just not cool to do such a thing and you wouldn't want someone doing it to you. <a href=''>Immaturity</a> is an easy decision, an easy way out, requires no work, and usually more fun than doing what you should be doing. <a href=''>The</a> problem with immaturity is it produces horrible results and keeps you in the same place you've always been. <a href=''>Maturity,</a> on the other hand, is not as fun, more stressful, and requires honesty, responsibility, and tougher decisions - but leads to better results. <a href=''>When</a> making a decision, no matter how big or small, you're coming to a fork in the road and having to choose a path - the mature route or immature route, the high road or the low road, the hard thing or the easy thing, what very few do or what everyone does. <a href=''>You</a> can't choose both. <br /><br /><a href=''>The</a> mature route is uphill and the immature route is downhill. <a href=''>Uphill</a> is harder, requires more effort, and takes longer but it makes you tougher and stronger. <a href=''>In</a> any battle, whoever takes the high ground has the advantage. <a href=''>Downhill</a> is easier and faster but it doesn't challenge you, toughen you up, or make your body stronger. <a href=''>It's</a> also easier to fall forward, roll all the way down, and wind up in a bad situation. <a href=''>Anxiety</a> is overcome by tackling life as much as you can head on. <a href=''>Make</a> a list of all the things you have put off. <a href=''>Procrastination</a> tends to compound problems. <a href=''>The</a> more you mean to do but never get around to doing the more your anxiety is likely to grow.Always remember to praise yourself on your achievements. <a href=''>Think</a> about what you have managed to do rather than what you believe you should have been doing. <a href=''>Keeping</a> this kind of a record provides you with evidence of the goals you have set and your success in dealing with them. <a href=''>Everyone</a> has bad days, days when you feel that nothing has been achieved or changed. <a href=''>By</a> keeping these details in your journal you have a written record of the improvements you have made and these help you evaluate your progress realistically. <a href=''>Apart</a> from exercise being physically healthy it is also good for our psychological well-being. <a href=''>Research</a> suggests that even mild exercise can have a positive effect. <a href=''>Simply</a> walking a couple of miles each day and walking up and down stairs can do the trick. <a href=''>Exercise</a> not only relieves stress, it also releases naturally produced chemicals that can raise your moods and help reduce adrenaline levels that have been heightened because of anxiety. <a href=''>You</a> have broken one of your value rules, e.g.,I must always be kind and think of other people's feelings ahead of my own'. You think only about the outcome of what you believe you have done or not done, e.g., `I should have known he would be unhappy'. These types of guilt are either about the actions you have taken or the choices you have made and the consequences of your choices.