At the time of initial awareness, in the heat of rage or the pain of shame, you may demand to know everything. Whether you are at home, in a car, in a motel room, or in a public place, it doesn't matter to you--you want to know and you want to know now. My boyfriend disclosed all right--I discovered him all over the internet. That was my experience with disclosure. Well, I thought my husband disclosed, meaning he told me about the pornography. But later he told me about the chat rooms and then he told me about the woman at work. I have been disclosed to a lot. My husband did this disclosure and we didn't have any facilitation. Both situations demand that the body change. Do you have more distress or eustress in your life? Dr Seyle was a pioneer because he saw the connection the mind has over the body. He formed our current thinking around general adaptation syndrome, the ways in which our bodies cope with stress. During times of changing environment or a perceived threat, our acute stress response is adaptive and allows us to cope and respond appropriately to survive the stress. An acute stress response in healthy individuals is a good thing. It is a normal process, and it is protective. The goal of the stress response is to release resources for the body to make energy for immediate use. The body also starts to allocate these resources to specific organs and shuts down resources to other organs to help conserve energy. When our senses perceive a threat, the autonomic nervous system is triggered. In some form or fashion, it's the essence of comedy to act like a fool, to do activities that normal people would not dare to do or talk about, for a good laugh. Whether the stories are true or not really doesn't matter.

Bert Kreischer has found it difficult to slow down his party life. For one thing, he's had a great time doing it, with endless stories to share during comedy sets. He's been the epitome of the party life, but now, he's 48 years old, and has a wife and two kids. After decades of partying hard, he's noticing that his average night of eight drinks (for real) is a bit too much. On a visit to his doctor's office, his doctor adamantly said no more to his behavior. The doctor basically said This has to stop or else something will dramatically go wrong with your health. Bert needed to find a way to solve his life issues quickly, so he could just stay alive to watch his kids grow up. Bert came to grips with the fact that his foolish behavior would ultimately kill him and negatively impact the lives around him for good. I was so angry I think I scared him, and because I insisted, he told me lots of details. I kept screaming that if he wanted me to stay he had to tell me everything, so unfortunately I got everything, including her clothes size and color of hair and eyes. I wanted to know exactly which internet sites he was on. I wanted to know what they did when they had dates, where they had gone, etc So what did I do with that? I made him take me to the places he took her. For whatever reason, he mostly acted out with redheads, and so being a brunette I quickly colored my hair red. I had him buy me the exact presents he bought the other women. Well, none of this did anything for me or him. It just kept me wound up and him crazy. These women certainly got the news, in a variety of ways but that's not what I'm talking about here. The two major components of the autonomic nervous system are referred to as the sympathetic and the parasympathetic nervous systems. These systems are regulated by neurotransmitters, or chemical signals, which communicate to the nervous system to set off a chain of responses.

They work in balance to affect many systems of the body, such as the heart, eyes, stomach, and genitals. The sympathetic nervous system (SNS) is also called our fight-or-flight system. The SNS triggers the release of neurotransmitters, such as epinephrine and norepinephrine, which then signal the cardiovascular system to increase blood pressure and heart rate. The heart pumps faster and gets blood to all essential organs more quickly, so the body is ready for whatever comes its way. It also suppresses gut motility and the urge to urinate so that we aren't hungry when we are running and do not have the urge to urinate or defecate. The SNS also increases blood flow to our skeletal muscles and our brain. Our eyes dilate so we can see better in the dark. All of our senses become keener, we are more alert, and our muscles can endure. Thanks to the friends he had around him, Bert actually did find a way out. In the first Sober October podcast with Joe Rogan, Ari Shaffir and Tom Segura, the crew decided to rally together in a four-hour podcast to put down a bet. Can we all make it a month being completely sober? No drugs, no alcohol or other substances for an entire month? Surprisingly, it worked. They all went an entire month completely sober. They've continued to do this two more times since 2017, and many other groups of dudes and dudettes have participated. In fact one of the huge appeals for them to keep going has been the response from fans participating. Rules have changed, and there have been different stakes on the line, but, overall, it's been a positive experience for Bert and his friends. There's Too Much Foolishness The word disclosure is a therapeutic term that describes a structured conversation mediated by a professional counselor who provides both physical and emotional safety, wherein the addict shares (discloses) the extent of his sexual acting-out behavior. While it is emotionally difficult, when it's done in a manner that offers support to both of you, it has the potential to lessen the craziness you have been experiencing and provide much-needed validation to your suspicions.

In a professionally mediated disclosure process the standard practice is for the generalities--not the specifics--of the acting-out behavior be disclosed. Some partners insist on all the details down to the color of a lover's clothing. The Women of the Lodge refer to that as pain shopping. You seek the details, but being privy to minute details only tends to help you stay obsessed and reactive, resulting in more pain and anxiety. Essentially you are taking the detailed information and recycling it. Traumatized by knowing his every behavior, you retraumatize yourself. Some women don't want to know anything about what happened. They just want to hear that the behavior has stopped. Simultaneously, the parasympathetic (PNS), our rest and digestive system, is suppressed. This system is responsible for lowering blood pressure, lowering heart rate, and improving gut motility. When there is an acute stressor, activities not essential for immediate survival, such as digestion, growth, and reproduction, are suspended. Another major pathway that becomes activated when stress is perceived comes when a signal in our brain triggers the release of cortisol (from the adrenal gland, the stress response center). Cortisol has two main jobs. The first is to help make energy. It is responsible for breaking down fat (lipolysis) and making sugar from storage sources (glycogenolysis). It also mobilizes fat from the periphery to the center to prepare it for use. Its second role is to regulate the immune system. Without overwhelming ourselves here with how immunology works, the role of cortisol is to balance inflammation with anti-inflammation. Don't we all like a good knucklehead, though? They've got wild stories that only ridiculous, foolish people would have.

You listen and laugh along as they tell tales of their adventures no sensible person would dare partake in. Part of their thrill in doing the foolish activities is when they explain the elaborate story (which could likely be fictional, but no one really cares when it's a good story). Getting the group to laugh and engage makes this person the life of the party. It brings them attention that they feed off of until the next party. Plus, since they are such a loose cannon, they are totally willing to throw out coarse jabs at people for the wild laughter of the crowd. They are willing to do, and very capable of doing, ridiculous things, while drunk. If someone gives a recommendation to do something stupid, this person will likely jump to action, potentially at their expense. So, what's the bad part about hanging around with knuckleheads and foolish people again? To assume the behavior has stopped because it has been exposed is denial. Seeing only one piece of the picture maintains your denial about the seriousness and extent of the problem. Ignorance is not bliss. When you know the bigger picture it may seem like your relationship is in even more trouble than you previously thought. Yet, addiction thrives in secrecy. Truth is the only way intimacy is ever truly achieved. There is no doubt that this is a time of intense feelings and great uncertainty, but disclosure levels the playing field. Since you are no longer in the dark, you are in a better position to know how to go forward and make informed decisions. I strongly recommend that you and your partner work through the disclosure with therapists trained and certified in working with couples impacted by sex addiction. I agreed to the disclosure, after all it seemed that we were both working up to it with our separate therapists. Our acute stress response allows for an increase in white cells--the infection fighters (macrophages and natural killer cells) that go into tissues, such as our skin or other organs, and act as protection against those cells most likely to suffer damage during an insult. Our immune system recruits chemicals in our blood to help fight against new trauma, infection, or injury.