He's totally detached from the ego side of decision making. When you're talented and coachable and willing to find the best answer, no matter who has it or where it comes from, that's extremely powerful. Do you agree that the patient had a non-healing sore? Do you agree that pain can be a sign of a circulation problem? Do you agree that this patient had pain? Do you agree that a vascular doctor is the best referral when you suspect a circulation problem? The expert should have answered yes to each of these questions. I knew this, not only because yes was the right answer, but also because she'd written or said that exact thing. I had read it in her articles and her depositions. It was black and white, but she wanted to go gray. Not in this case. In this case it was more deadly. I was stunned into my own astonished silence as I put my arms around her, and my heart swelled with love as we watched the sunrise together. The second key to a meaningful gratitude practice is to document not only the event itself, but the feelings that arose within us as we experienced that event. Our mistake in dropping notes into our Happiness Jar was that we neglected to write why the recorded moment was meaningful to us. When we walked the dogs, did we notice that our golden retriever rushed ahead of us but then checked to make sure we were still with him, or that our toy poodle looked up at us adoringly and liked to smell each new flower on our path? The Grateful Soul: The Art And Practice Of Gratitude When we found a new waterfall on our hike, did we notice the sunlight sparkling off the water pooling in the lake below? Did we hear the birds calling to each other over the thundering falls? When we remember to note the experience for which we are grateful as well as the reason it struck us in that moment, we recall not only the facts of the situation, but also the tug it created on our soul when it occurred. The event itself is not what inspires the gratitude.

Instead, it is the feelings stirring within us that remind us of what brings delight to our hearts and beauty to our lives. By reliving those feelings, we are lifted by our gratitude, and we continue to carry the joy within us. It's affecting how you relate to your friends. It may even be preventing you from falling in love or getting ahead in your job. I don't think we truly appreciate how much old grudges hurt us until we isolate them. Can you see a direct connection between what happened to you when you were hurt and what has happened to you since? Are you less enthusiastic, less optimistic, less loving, less trusting--all because of this? That's a crazy amount of control that you're giving over to someone who probably isn't even in your life anymore. That's tough, but at least you're aware of it now. So, then, the question becomes whether or not you're okay with continuing to give away this kind of control. Since you've gotten this far in this process, I'm guessing your answer is no. So now you have your head and heart in the right place, and you're resolved to not let this old grudge control you any longer. Take a step back and don't just decide where you want to go. What, and who, can help you get there? Successful people finish--unless there's a very, very good reason not to finish, which, of course, there almost never is. I know some of this might sound hard. I know some of this might sound too difficult, especially because very few people apply this level of focus and routine to their lives. But take a step back and consider the following sentence; Successful people are successful because they do things differently from other people. But also true.

To achieve differently you must act differently. Again, I know that sounds obvious, but look around you. He had a rare skin disease. Here, it was a problem that was growing by the minute. Pain from a rare and dangerous skin disease. Not in this case. Lawyers are hired to be advocates. Experts in med mal cases are supposed to be hired to tell the truth about the medicine. While there's often more than one truth, this was ridiculous. One by one, I took her own articles showing where she'd said essentially said yes to every question I'd asked, and showed them to the jury on a huge screen. One by one, she had to admit that this was an article she'd written to teach medical students and other doctors how to approach a non-healing sore. And with each admission, the jury leaned away from her and towards me. Karen Gabler is an attorney, intuitive coach, and psychic medium. She is also a published author and inspirational speaker. Karen is passionate about encouraging others to live their best lives. She provides clients with intuitive guidance regarding personal and business questions, facilitates connections with their loved ones in spirit, and conducts workshops on a variety of spiritual and personal development topics. Karen earned her Bachelor of Science in psychology and her Juris Doctorate from the University of Hawaii. She enjoys reading, horseback riding, and spending time with her husband and two children. Lunch, if eaten at all, is a snack grabbed during a short break? Evenings find me exhausted from a long day of client service, promising my young daughter once again that I will play with her tomorrow,

Weekends become a much-needed opportunity to catch up on what I haven't yet completed on my task list, as I promise myself that if I can As I complain to my co-worker about our endless workload, she casually responds with, I know, but at least we have jobs, right? Now, all you have to do is commit. There are a number of ways you can go about this. One is to have a really honest conversation with yourself about what happened, what the circumstances were, what the other person's intentions were, and what it felt like to go through it all. Of course, there's a pretty good chance that the first thing that's going to happen when you have this conversation with yourself is that you're going to get angry all over again, which might feel a little counterproductive. Trust me: I know it sucks to remember things you try so hard to forget. But it's necessary to get the proper understanding so you can move on. Remember that in the last article we talked about digging up those bad seeds. This is a step to making sure those seeds no longer grow anything in your life. And that's going to be okay, because you have a better idea now of what that anger is doing to you. And as you continue to talk this out with yourself, now that you've prepared yourself for dealing with it, you're probably going to find that you are ready at last to let it go. How many people do you work with who get to work at nine (when almost everyone else comes in), leave at five (when almost everyone else leaves), take their lunch breaks like everyone else, half-ass their way through meetings and assignments and projects . You know plenty of people like that, right? Yet they're the same people who complain because they don't get opportunities, don't make enough money, don't get promoted . But they act like every other employee. Why should they be treated differently? They aren't different. Yes, they're all individuals, but from a professional point of view, they're essentially generic. Everyone says they go the extra mile.

Almost no one actually goes there, though. And when someone does actually go there, they usually think, Wait. I'd proven my point, with patience, preparation, and practicality. We won that case. I find it far harder to advocate for myself than for others. I can advocate for my clients, my family, my friends, and my employees. But when it comes time to fight for what is right for me, my voice shakes and my hands tremble. The best way I've found to advocate for myself effectively is to look to the same guidelines I use when I advocate in court. You've got to be patient. Since, as attorneys, we advocate with questions, we have to wait for the answers. You can do the same. If you ask questions and then listen, you get the answers you need to advocate for yourself and win. Guilt washes over me as I realize that I'm feeling sorry for myself instead of appreciating my good fortune. Shouldn't I be exceedingly grateful for what I have? I have a continuing source of income in a reasonably secure position, and I can take care of my family. How can I possibly justify wanting more than I already have when so many people have so little? Gratitude is important, to be sure. We are taught that if we consistently dwell on what we don't have, we will never find satisfaction in what we do have. We will then spend our lives constantly wishing for more, without ever noticing the abundance right in front of us. That said, blind insistence that we should always be satisfied with what we already have may prevent us from recognizing when we don't yet have what we want or need in our lives.