Our trust keeps the world in order. But here's the problem. Only 1/3rd of Americans trust each other. In a study done by the General Social Survey, that spans over 40 years, they've found that trust in our fellow man has slowly declined. Back in 1972, half of all Americans surveyed said they trusted each other. But now, 2/3rds of Americans surveyed say that you can't be too careful with people. You'll find this to be very obvious in our political landscape. As April Clark, a political scientist and public opinion researcher from Purdue University, describes, It's like the rules of the game. I'll move anywhere you want. We can change churches. I will change my job. I will do whatever will make you happier so you will stop this behavior. You may get stuck in sorrow, feeling the pain, hurt, and sadness, but you don't find a way out of it. In defeat, you succumb to depression. To compound the tragedy, you may engage in actions that are self-degrading, self-destructive, or that profoundly violate your own values. While you are stuck in your grief, you go through a wide range of feelings about the addict as you increasingly suspect or become aware of the behavior. Feelings fluctuate wildly, from intense rage to profound sadness, fear, embarrassment, shame, and guilt. You may keep these feelings tightly controlled and to yourself or they may leak everywhere. The New Laws of Remote Coaching When he first started consulting with individual athletes, Lenny Wiersma insisted on meeting them in person.

But as time went on and his reputation grew, he started attracting clients from all over the world, and even with the best frequent flyer miles account of all time, he could no longer restrict himself to only face-to-face meetings. Enter Facetime and Skype. I was initially very skeptical of video conferencing with clients. But I started to find that it could give me insight into my athletes that I wouldn't have had otherwise. While some people dial in remotely, most talk to me from their homes. One time I was on a video call with a college athlete and noticed a Captain America poster on his dorm room wall behind him. I thought that was a little odd as college athletes don't usually have superhero posters up, and he was a foreign student, so it wasn't a patriotism thing. I asked him about it and found that he used the metaphor of the shield to remind him that he could deflect criticism and pressure from others. When trust is low, the way we react and behave with each other becomes less civil. And, if you think this is getting better with the young people, think again. Pew Research shared their research on this very topic: Around three-quarters (73%) of U. A similar share (71%) say most people would try to take advantage of you if they got a chance, and six-in-ten say most people `can't be trusted. Most people would take advantage of you if you had the chance? That one caused me some shock. That means 7 out of 10 young people think that if given the opportunity to steal a valuable item from you, without consequences, they would. Pew also reported that71% [of surveyors] think interpersonal confidence has worsened in the past 20 years. The major cause according to the survey participants? You may be out grocery shopping and when someone bumps into your cart you react as if the person has just stolen your child. A casual conversation with an acquaintance who simply asks you how you are, not knowing what is happening in your life, sends you into inconsolable grief and you end up spilling your guts.

So what do you do to cope with your grief? Your responses probably run the gamut. At times of great fear, angst, and shame, women employ a variety of disconnection strategies: they move toward, move against, or move away. Perfect, Ms. Accommodator. You can do this with rageful or spiteful behavior. You may engage in your own acting out via self-destructive behaviors, such as using drugs, having affairs, or spending money. You numb out or slip into depression and anxiety. This spawned a whole in-depth discussion that we never could've had if the technology hadn't given me an inside view of his world. The usefulness of video isn't limited to live interaction. Tim Ferriss has found it beneficial to upload videos of his workouts to Dropbox, so his gymnastics coach, Chris Sommer, can monitor his progress and fix mechanical errors. I think that my coach's video reviews have certainly helped me to develop a better awareness of my movement and how what I think I'm doing often deviates dramatically from what I'm actually doing. Technology can also allow coaches to create a network for other practitioners who are applying their system and methods. A master coach or founder of a system could benefit from the same video streaming that I've used to monitor my athletes, periodically evaluating the quality of the experiences others are creating for their clients. This can help entrepreneurs scale their businesses without the time and financial costs of traveling all over the globe to meet with employees and coaches face-to-face. Expertise and Experience One of the most important things coaches offer is the benefit of their long experience and earned expertise. Whatever concern you have or topic you're interested in, chances are, they've either encountered it before or have the education and knowledge to guide you through it in a way that no wearable or app ever could. We're not as reliable as we used to be. But, this caused me to think, did we really used to be more reliable 20 years ago?

My parents seem to think so. I gave them a quick call about this. Forty years ago, when they were in their twenties, they believed people to be much more honest. They discussed that there was a general adherence to a set of principles everyone collectively agreed with. It was much more habitual for people to attend church, so, because everyone did, there was a subconscious understanding of right and wrong (according to the Biblical definition of right and wrong). But, after 40 years of controversy, appalling acts of sin and major hypocrisy in church leadership and its attendees (not to mention other moments in history where Christians didn't act Christ-like), people questioned whether to still be part of Christianity. Can we really trust this faith to be a reliable resource for life principles anymore? Gallup poll research has shown a decline from 70% church attendance in 1999, to 50% church attendance in 2018. Overeating, anorexic behavior, and the use of alcohol or other drugs (particularly sedatives or depressants) also aid in withdrawing and hiding. Most people relate to using all three or a combination of strategies. None of these movements help; They are all self- defeating. Which of the above do you engage in? In the early years of my marriage I bent over backward to be the accommodating wife. I suspected he was with other women, yet I felt trapped financially. I was scared to leave, scared to be on my own. I was scared the kids would blame me because they wouldn't understand why I wanted to leave. In time I started to secretly drink and then use pills. Curators Wanted One of the huge advantages that the internet provides is the availability of information on health and performance.

Thirty years ago, you'd have had to enroll in a college program or go to a library and binge-read impenetrable, jargon-filled textarticles (which were often woefully out-of-date) to learn more. Now all you need is a Wi-Fi-enabled device and a web browser. Yet this ease of access is in some ways a double-edged sword. Yes, we now have millions of articles of information just milliseconds away. But who has the time to sift through it all and determine what's valid and what's useless? If you go to any of the main research websites (such as Research Gate, PubMed, or Academia. Where do you even start? What we need isn't more info or data but greater discernment. A sharp decline, indeed. Without a central set of principles and beliefs that most Americans choose to follow, my parents discussed that people will do as the Bible professed in Judges 21:25, Everyone did what was right in his own eyes. This creates tension, thereby creating distrust in each other. People start to ask each other skeptical questions like, Why do you not believe what I believe? I believe I'm right. Why would you not agree? The response to this discourse in beliefs is to simply coexist, but how real is this proclamation for peace? The very message that's preached to coexist creates tension with people who want to convert more people to their faith. Any message by any leader creates tension because there will always be opposition. Do you realize the President of the United States has never had a higher average voter approval rating than 70%? I felt so defeated. I just wanted to disappear but couldn't.