Include inspiring quotes that motivate you and lift your spirits. When you're truthful with yourself, when you don't make excuses or try to rationalize your failure to adhere to something, you develop a solid foundation, a personality founded on honor, self-respect, and truth. Most people don't have that. They make excuses for themselves (which are either pure lies or a distorted perspective), and thus, lie to others. They're worms, without the skeleton that makes men stand erec - not the bones in our body, but the honor in which we carry ourselves. Track your progress. Tell the truth. And don't depend on someone else to ensure you're following through on what you said you'd do. Hold yourself accountable. Act like a man in that sense. Don't be a dependent. It is a way of life, a moral discipline. Paul Samuels's wife Rita uses different words that reveal some of the difficulties this healer's commitment creates for his family, but she also confirms her husband's self-image: I, I mean we, the kids and I, used to get real upset with Paul, with the way he gets taken up into his patients' problems. And do some of them have problems! I mean Paul can't let go like other doctors. He worries about them. They are important to him. Maybe--or at least I used to think so--maybe too important. Sometimes I think he would be lost without his patients.

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if we retire. Recognize that by being proactive, you are already experiencing success! Now let's try a card for managing suicidal thoughts. If someone inside is upset, I will do something to soothe that part. In the midst of crisis or overwhelming feelings it can be difficult to think clearly. I will identify the thoughts that are making me want to hurt myself. They might also be about internal conflicts among ego states, or they may be misbeliefs that can be redirected with the help of others. Sometimes internal parts truly believe they would be better off dead and that their death will help the host or some other part. This thinking is logical in the midst of terrifying abuse, although illogical now. It is equally important to have a We're in this together attitude if you want to overcome past conditioning or ineffective coping methods. I will make a list of feelings I am having and remind myself that feelings will not kill me. Your Journal I've found journals to be very helpful for a number of reasons. One journal I use - called the Effic Journal, found at effic. That journal helps you define your ideal, your goals within the year, break them down to quarterly achievements that have to be met to reach the ideal goals, and then weekly and daily tasks that have to be completed to have a successful quarter. I depend on that journal. It takes the macro and helps you focus on the micro, the things you can control and must complete to create your overarching ideal. If you want to use the practices in this article, the Effic journal, created by my pal Dave Ruel, is a wonderful addition to your life. It helps you make sure that your daily tasks align with your overall mission, ideal, and quest. The second journal is purely for thoughts and ideas.

Keep it by your bed at night, and near your desk during the day. But I don't think he could retire. He'd lose something that anchors him, just like he would if something happened to our family. The Burdens of Care Spier, a rotund, smiling figure, is a forty-six-year-old internist in a large metropolitan community hospital. He is a specialist in gastrointestinal disorders. Andy Spier started off in medical research but became a full-time practitioner six years ago, primarily for financial reasons. He still regards himself as more academically oriented than most of his peers, and in his spare time he is participating with several of his former colleagues in a clinical epidemiological project on chronic liver disorders. What I need, to be perfectly frank, is a sabbatical from full-time clinical work. Then I could get back to my academic interests. I just don't have the time I need for them. I will call someone just to talk or, if possible, get together with someone. Now, make a list of situations or behaviors for which you might need a card on hand to coach you. Then make two or three cards to share with your therapist. Continue to make new cards as issues arise. Here are a few examples of situations you might put on a card. Pick two or three from the list or choose one of your own for practice. Being assertive with my boss when he asks me to work late. Telling my mother that I do not want to talk right now. Dealing with younger parts that want to come out in public.

Turning the feeling thermometer down when I start to feel overwhelmed. These journals help us focus and stay the course. The ideas journal isn't just about work. I write my thoughts in that one because keeping them as thoughts isn't always enough, they get lost in a sea of other thoughts and writing them down helps them become goals, intentions, and ideas that can be acted on later. Clarity is found by writing things down. We can't simply think. We must document. That's the purpose of journals. They're there for clarity, for solving problems, and for recording and keeping a tab on the habits that we've discussed in this article. They're also used for reflection. Who I am now is who I once wanted to be - maybe not completely, but close. What is more, I feel like I am burning out of clinical work. There is only so much you can tolerate--all the problems, the calls, all the patients and families. I didn't bargain for this when I went into private practice. I had no idea it would be so hard. By the end of the week I feel I can barely stand it anymore. This is definitely not what I went into medicine for. I'm more intellectually inclined. Here I'm a high-price mechanic and nurse rolled into one. If it wasn't for the money, I'd get out, go back to research in the laboratory.

The more I get away from it, the more I realize I was happiest when there were no calls to family members, no listening all the time to people complain. Turning the television channel to safety. Not drinking alcohol. Handling paralyzing fear in the middle of the night. Becoming excessively startled in the middle of the day. Identifying behaviors to use in place of bingeing. Establishing daily goals for health and well-being. ACCEPTING INTERNAL PARTS It is important to focus on roll calls, how to soothe parts, and internal communication, because respecting and nurturing parts is one of the keys to getting healthier. If you have DID, you can probably identify with the concept of getting rid of parts. There are variations on the theme, but the concept centers on wanting to be normal and undoing what has happened in the past. I once wanted to earn what I now earn, live in a house like I now live in - okay, I've always wanted land and lot's of it, but this house is awesome, it's something that I never thought would be mine, especially when I was 3 years into running my own business and still not seeing any growth. I have a great lady who's intelligent, funny, supportive, and beautiful. I have a pup that I love, a routine that helps me win, and because I'm ambitious, I rarely appreciate what I have or where I am or who surrounds me. Without past journals and the ability to go back on reflect where I was two, three, five, and even ten years ago, my appreciation for where I am wouldn't have the context I need to truly feel proud - in a good sense - about where I am. I have so bloody far to go, as do you. That will be true for your entire life. You're always going to be wanting more. You're always going to take a step backward. You're going to do things you're not proud of, but if you treat each day as its own, if you act in a consistent manner, creating the right habits in your life, in a year's time, five year's time, in a few decades, you're going to be proud of what you've done, the man you are, and what you've earned.