I find it helpful to divide my article into two columns and in the first column I list my activities and in the second column I write down my observations about that activity. False Epidemics When renown psychiatrist, Allen Frances, was asked what are the most overdiagnosed disorders, he listed ADHD and child bipolar disorder (as well as autism) - referring to them as false epidemics. Fortunately, there are effective treatments for these conditions; GENERAL PSYCHOLOGY LIES POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT: DOES IT WORK? Nim was born in a research facility in Norman, Oklahoma. His mother Carolyn birthed six chimps before him, each of whom were taken from her within weeks of their birth and used for medical experimentation; When the researchers came to take her newborn son, Carolyn clutched him tightly while he breast-fed on her. Because a chimp is capable of killing a human or animal trying to take away her baby, the institute's director shot Carolyn with a tranquilizer dart. But the crucial point is that, as is the case in the process of self-examination, there are deeper and richer understandings about people that help connect a leader to his or her team. The effort to create or achieve the more interpersonal process-oriented understandings at work is at the core of empathic supervisory practice. Responding effectively to situations that present themselves at work is also an essential component of managing others. Judgment about which response to employ in different situations is a crucial part of managing people with empathy. Armed with understanding, a manager can tailor a response that fits the person and the situation. Empathic responses to situations imply an effort to read the situation and select the correct response accordingly. Management should never be one size fits all. The skill of empathy then adds another dimension to the ability to understand and respond to people in work circumstances. Empathy focuses on communicating with others in a way that makes them feel uniquely understood.

It involves an ability to assess the unique circumstances of people--what seems to be going on inside them in the here and now, what they are feeling, how they are showing it with body language and affect, what type of core personality they have, what values drive them, and much more. Like I'm gonna do that? Or she/he's gonna do that? At any given moment, until there are no more moments to give, we all could. The possibility is at hand every second. Right up until the end, we could. This is the possibility in any intimate relationship. We can probe past the boundaries of our aloneness. We can try to find what we seek even knowing we will never see it revealed as clearly as the sun or the moon or the stars. Of course, if we do it, if we reach out in naked, stupid vulnerability, we risk the connection going wrong, sometimes horribly wrong. When you reach out, there's no guarantee what you'll find. In the first column of your article, write a list detailing the key things you did during your day. They need not be the most important things that you did. It's actually more important that your list should contain the activities that you feel some emotional connection with - and that connection could either make you feel good, or bad. With your list of values in front of you, write beside each activity how it related to your values. It is equally useful to notice and write about where the activity is a good match for your value as it is to write about where it is not. For example, one of my values is magic, so I would write down an activity like having a healing session with a client. Then I would write about how my actions in that session helped me bring forth that value, both in myself and in my client. I would write about how I was able to live from my value and feel the enjoyment of my actions being aligned with that value as I helped another person connect to their real nature and their unique kind of magic. Another activity I might write down is having a conversation with a member of my family.

Being compassionate and truthful are two more of my core values, so I would record how faithful I was to those two guiding principles in my life when I was having that conversation. He then rushed into the cage to try to get Nim from her grasp before she could accidentally roll over and crush him. His full name, Nim Chimpsky, was a playful dig at Noam Chomsky, the MIT linguist who had famously argued that only humans - and not apes - could acquire language. After previous attempts by scientists to teach apes language had mostly failed, Herbert Terrace, a Columbia University psychologist, was confident his study would be different; Terrace had Nim adopted by an affluent Manhattan family to be raised like he was their child. The idea was that if he was treated just like a human, he would learn language naturally. So, he wore clothes, brushed his teeth, used the toilet (sometimes), and ate human food. He eventually learned to sign sorry, which he would use as a plea to avoid abandonment. Because chimps mature much faster than human babies, the family started teaching Nim sign language, starting with the word drink, at just two months old. Positive reinforcement involves presenting a motivating stimulus immediately after a desired behavior is exhibited, making it more likely the behavior will be repeated in the future. A real-world example of this can be seen in parents who give their children ice cream (reinforcing stimulus) after eating their vegetables (desired behavior). Empathy is sparked by a natural curiosity about people. Managers need to nurture and develop that sense of curiosity about what people are experiencing, in order to focus in on their unique circumstances. The Difference Between Sympathy and Empathy It is important to have an appreciation for how the terms sympathy and empathy relate to each other. The distinction between these two seemingly analogous terms lies in the difference between feeling for someone (sympathy) versus feeling with someone (empathy). The sympathetic response feels for someone out of an orientation to one's own experience. The empathic response feels with the person, based upon an orientation to the other person's unique circumstances. Sympathy is a form of agreement, rather than an exploration of feeling--it is emotionally distant. Empathy, on the other hand, is emotionally connecting.

Empathic listeners feel others' pain, joy, grief, and frustration. It's not like fairy tales. The other person may be tired, in a bad mood, not in the frame of mind to reach back, or just not much interested in you right then. You can encounter what we call empathic failures, which is shrink-speak for devastatingly disappointing moments of the other person not responding in the way you need him or her to. For example, one of us might say to the other, I had this amazing, incredible experience today that really changed my life, and the other might reply, It is so hot in this house, I just can't stand it. The person who had the great day feels rebuffed, put down, and demeaned. He--since in this case it was Ned--feels as if his treasure has just been spat upon. In a second, he'll careen back through every bitter disappointment in his life. Sue's reaction made him feel totally alone, as if all the years of marriage have just been decimated and he is a man left unto himself. He is in despair. How could Sue have been so unaware, so uncaring, so uninterested? Step Three: Each day, and particularly at the end of each week, notice if there are things that you do habitually that don't meet at least two, and then as you progress, three of your values. For each of these issues, take a fresh pen and paper and write without stopping for 20 minutes using the starter sentence: Now that I am fully aligned with my values I would like to. Connecting into your subconscious using automatic writing may yield some unexpected ideas and solutions as to how you can bring your actions into deeper alignment with who you are. Tuning Up by Tuning In: How to Tap into Your Body's Wisdom and Release its Secret Energy Stores In every culture and in every medical tradition before ours, healing was accomplished by moving energy. One individual who lives and vibrates to the energy of illumination, bliss, and infinite peace, will counterbalance the negativity of 10 million people who calibrate at the lower weakening levels.

The ultimate point of creative visualisation is to make every moment of our lives a moment of wondrous creation, in which we are just naturally choosing the best, the most beautiful, the most fulfilling lives we can imagine. Nim's progress at language learning was reinforced with approval (which becomes reinforcing because of its association with food). This motivated him to continue learning new words and demonstrate his understanding of them (eg he would make the sign sleep when he was bored). Initially, Nim was learning about one word a month, but he eventually started learning two signs per week. By the end of the study, Nim's vocabulary grew to about 150 words. According to Terrace, Nim clearly demonstrated language is no longer the exclusive domain of humans. But the experiment was not over - not even close. The Debate of the Century If you remember anything from your Introduction to Psychology course, the name Pavlov probably rings a bell. Just prior to presenting his dogs with food, Pavlov would sound a bell. After several pairings of the food and bell, the dogs would salivate to just the sound of the bell without the food since they had been conditioned to associate the two. Sympathy leaves the other person in the interaction feeling supported but not uniquely understood. Experiencing Empathy To understand what empathy is and its importance to human relationships of all kinds, consider your own experience with it. Think about an interaction or series of interactions with another person in your life, when you felt: The interaction you chose may have been part of a loving relationship or friendship. Obviously, empathy is a key component of intimacy with others, because of empathy's power in connecting people to one another. The interaction you chose also may have been a professional one. Teachers, academic supervisors, mentors, clergy, or medical/psychological caregivers are common examples of the types of individuals who can model empathy in professional relationships. They listen in order to be of service, to help in meeting different types of educational, professional, spiritual, or medical needs.