When we receive an empathic response, we feel as though our problems matter, as though our growth or development is important to someone else, and that we are unique and also uniquely understood. She was having a hot flash. Her personal reality was too intense for her to ignore. All she could focus on was how hot she felt. She didn't even hear Ned's words. I, Ned, can respond by flying into a rage or falling into a pout. I can write articles in my mind about how our marriage is a farce and plan a divorce. I can berate Sue for how selfish she is, or I can feel sorry for myself being in such a loveless marriage. Or, I can do none of those. I can trust in the process we have created. I can trust that as disappointed as she made me feel, it will pass, and that she probably had a good reason for being so uncaring. Whether you believe something is possible, or whether you believe it is not, you will be right. Tuning Up by Tuning In: How to Tap into Your Body's Wisdom and Release its Secret Energy Stores More Value and Truth-Based Science: Kinesiology Kinesiology is an entire healing modality based on the observation that when we make a statement to our bodies that we believe in our subconscious mind to be true, the statement makes the muscles in our bodies strong. We literally get stronger in the presence of truth. Conversely, kinesiologists have found that when our conscious mind has a belief that is in conflict with a formerly learned truth stored in the subconscious mind, the intellectual conflict expresses itself as a weakening of our body's muscles. The fact that we can say something to our body that it recognizes as the truth, and that this true statement makes a current of energy flow in our body that makes us strong, demonstrates both the importance of truth in our lives AND that there is another mind, other than the conscious mind, that is co-piloting our life. It also shows that the subconscious mind is more powerful than the conscious mind.

Chiropractors, Forensic Healers, Kinesiologists and Theta Healers all tap into the innate healing power of our body-mind using kinesiology. This influential discovery in the early 20th Century eventually led to the formation of behaviorism, which became the dominant school of psychology from 1920 until the 1950's. Behaviorism's two main proponents, John Watson and B. Skinner, believed that all human and animal behavior is learned through interactions with their environment. In other words, there is no human or animal nature. As Watson famously stated: Give me a dozen healthy infants, well-formed, and my own specified world to bring them up in and I'll guarantee to take any one at random and train him to become any type of specialist I might select - doctor, lawyer, artist, merchant-chief and, yes, even beggar-man and thief, regardless of his talents, penchants, tendencies, abilities, vocations and the race of his ancestors. Skinner, who was the most well-known behaviorist, was a celebrity of his day and the most eminent psychologist of the 20th Century. Contrary to both Watson and Pavlov, who believed what comes before a response is what influences it (as in the case of the bell influencing the dog to salivate), Skinner believed it's what comes just after a response that influences it. According to Skinner, operant conditioning - which includes positive reinforcement - is central to learning and modifying human and animal behavior. Skinner eventually extended his theory to include language acquisition, claiming in his 1957 article, Verbal Behavior, that humans learn language through reinforcement. Teaching Empathy Can empathy be taught? It is an interesting theoretical question, one for which there is a temptation to construct a complex answer. Certainly, many developmental psychologists have made careers out of studying and promoting complex theories about a person's capacity to care about others, to bond with children and/or form friendships. We, on the other hand, prefer to keep it rather simple. We would respond that, yes, because empathy is a skill, it is one that can be exercised and developed, as a muscle can, and one that gets better with regular and routine repetition. This being said, it is important to add an important caveat: It helps a great deal if one has had prior models for empathic communication in one's family, academic, and/or work life. Although parental empathy draws the most interest from the field of clinical psychology, we have found that former teachers, counselors, coaches, clergy members, and other figures who surround us through our lives can wield a powerful amount of influence on the development of our ability to show empathy to others. Role models play a significant role in our learning and our personal and professional development.

People tend to ape the behavior that they value most. I can remember who she is, and I can reach out to that person. I can remember the dream we share and take hope from that. We bring the issue into the petty details of everyday life in an everyday marriage--our own marriage--because that's where these lofty issues play out every day--in the foul rag-and-bone shop of the heart. Where life matters most, life's a mess. Artists clean it up for us and create order--in novels, symphonies, plays, paintings, and dance. But we who live it, we live life before it's been cleaned up and made beautiful. We live in a holy mess. As Sue says, at least once a week, What is it about this house and all of you? As soon as I clean up and straighten things out, it's a mess all over again. She's talking, of course, about the physical mess we keep making in the house. Whether they use it to identify spinal misalignments, or unhelpful blocks stored in people's emotional or spiritual energy fields, practitioners in all these modalities use the power of the subconscious mind to help people who are in pain to reconnect to their natural state of well-being. Using the Power of Our Thoughts Unless you have been brought up in a country where fire-walking is still a common practice, the best known demonstration that the mind can affect the body is probably the placebo effect. The effect is used in drug trials to test how effective a new medicine is. Scientists have found that some people get better when they falsely believe they are getting medicine. They get better, but they are actually being given a placebo - a sugar pill. To be considered as a potential commercial product, a drug being tested has to outperform the pill which is made from sugar. The placebo effect is a powerful demonstration that our perceptions, or our beliefs, whether they are accurate or inaccurate, have an equal impact on our behaviors and on our bodies. Practices such as fire walking have also been pointing for centuries to the incredible power of our internal resources.

Not surprisingly, given the invasive nature of many modern medicines and their known and unknown side-effects, many people are now beginning to wonder whether research into such phenomena could be leveraged to create non-invasive, non-side effect inducing, natural energy-based therapies. But in 1959, a little-known linguist at MIT wrote a scathing review of Skinner's article, which would become one of the most important documents in the history of psychology. Furthermore, he claimed that children's linguistic abilities are roughly equal, regardless of whether they're raised in a culture in which parents speak to their children or not. Another reason language acquisition is unlikely the product of reinforced repetition, according to Chomsky, is that language is generative; Humans are the only animals who have shown this creativity and capacity required to use language, meaning that language must be an inborn trait and not simply the result of learning through reinforcement (the Nim study would be an attempt to disprove this). Chomsky's critique has been called the most devastating review ever written. But that's just the beginning of the story. As Chomsky states, behaviorism mostly collapsed from within. During World War II, a couple of Skinner's earliest graduate students helped train pigeons to guide missiles aimed at enemy targets. They trained them to do this by using reinforcement. The Navy ultimately abandoned the project, but Skinner's graduate students saw the commercial potential for operant conditioning and decided to drop out of school in favor of becoming animal trainers. Accordingly, it is important for managers to understand that they often serve as role models for future managers, especially when their own behavior and personal effectiveness as leaders are deemed to be highly admirable. The two interrelated areas of empathy skill development are: Empathic listening. Expressing empathy. The latter requires the former. A manager needs to understand the value of hearing what others say and of doing so with involvement and feeling. The manager then can focus on how to express empathy back to others in verbal interaction more naturally and helpfully. Empathic Listening To `listen' another's soul into life, into a condition of disclosure and discovery, may be the greatest service that any human being ever performs for another.

Empathic listening gets inside another person's frame of reference. But it's also a metaphorical mess. Every day brings new problems, unexpected issues, and unplanned difficulties. Most are simple, such as a parking ticket or a clogged toilet, but some are major, such as an illness, a lost job, a death. We might as well face it. Life's a mess. It's a relentless mess-in-themaking. We try to tidy up, we try to build shelters and take control, we work our puny plans and schemes, but the mess always lurks. No one has it figured out. Even the fabulously wealthy and the famous suffer, get sick, and die. Even the people who seem most to have it all together lose it altogether. Learning How to Harness the Power of the Mind. By using our minds, we can get into a relaxed state in which the cells of our body are immersed in a healing and growth-promoting environment. This is something that yogis and all great spiritual teachers have known for centuries. In our contemporary world, the work of Dr Bruce Lipton, author of The Biology of Belief , has greatly advanced our understanding from the perspective of cell biology as to why this is the case. Lipton's work explains that if you fill your life with stress-inducing influences and worries, the cells of your body shut down their growth mechanisms in order to protect you. According to Lipton: Growth processes require an open exchange between an organism and its environment. Protection requires a closing down of the system to wall the organism off from the perceived threat. Consequently, a sustained protection response inhibits the creation of life-sustaining energy. This protection response also shuts down our way of making energy;