Keep your mental health professional's contact numbers on hand as well as those of family and friends should you feel you can't access the care you need. If your symptoms return, make an appointment immediately with your healthcare practitioner--or if necessary, go to the nearest hospital emergency room. Review your skill set. What tools can you use to keep strong? Can you summon positive thinking to offset negative thoughts? Do you need to delegate more? How are your eating, sleeping, and exercise patterns? Are you alone too much? If you take medication, are you consistent with it? Reviewing what interventions are needed can help you minimize relapse or recurrence. Sunshine on your face feels great, but a researcher at Osaka University in Japan has found that happiness is likely to be maxed out at a slightly cool temperature, specifically 57 degrees Fahrenheit (13.9 degrees Celsius). Examining the effect of weather on well-being, the researcher gathered data on seventy-five students over a period of 516 days, controlling for individual characteristics and outside events. He found that while wind speed and precipitation did not impact respondents' well-being, subjective happiness was negatively related to temperature and humidity, with subjects at their happiest at 57 degrees Fahrenheit. If you're feeling down, turn up the air conditioner. Enough about you. Instead of doing things for your own happiness, you should set aside some time each month to do something that helps someone else. Why? It will make you happier. Tons of psychological studies have found evidence of the paradoxical relationship between selflessness and happiness--that is, by giving to others and avoiding selfish behavior, you end up gaining in the process. In a series of studies, researchers found that "prosocial behavior" (actions focused on others, such as giving money to those in need) boosted a person's feelings of happiness upon recalling it later.

Researchers conducted three experiments to test this. One involved getting eighty-six participants to recall a memory of their choice that involved spending twenty dollars, either on themselves or for someone else. After recalling the memory, they completed a survey on how they felt--and those who recalled spending for others reported more positive emotions. Designate two hours each month to serve at a soup kitchen or do some other kind of volunteer work. You'll end up feeling better as a result--but remember: It's not about you. When it comes to boosting your happiness, few areas are as important as your love life. George Vaillant, a researcher behind the milestone Harvard Grant Study (which followed 268 Harvard undergraduates for more than seventy-five years), states that "[h]appiness is love. Full stop." Everything from life expectancy to confidence to stress levels is impacted by your romantic relationships, and your decisions and personality in turn shape the success of your love life. Almost nothing in life is as mysterious and deeply personal as love. So it can seem reductive to turn a complex relationship into cold data points, unnatural to put a number on something so personal as how many times a husband compliments his wife, or how many times a couple has sex in a month. But just as Shakespeare, Neruda, and Keats have sought to understand what makes for ideal love, in more recent times psychologists and researchers have made their own attempts at solving the puzzle. The results have been less poetic, but no less insightful. From the importance of a great "how we met story" to the best time to break things off, researchers have explored virtually every aspect of what makes a relationship work--and what doesn't. Here are some takeaways from their findings on how to create a more successful love life and, as a result, a happier life. There's a part of your mind that doesn't care about you, your feelings, your thoughts, your future, or your well-being. It wants what it wants right now and it'll throw tantrums, cry, beg, complain, stomp around, and do whatever it has to until you give it what it wants. It's the child in your mind. It's the part of you that never wants to grow up, be responsible, and do the hard things to get your act together. It's the part of you saying you don't have to get out of bed, it's ok not to exercise, it's ok to call into work today and be lazy, it's ok to act dramatic, childish, and emotional, and it's ok to give up when anything is boring or hard. Your inner-child is a tyrant and wants to be in control of everything you think, feel, say, and do throughout the day and it doesn't care about improvement, moving forward, and reaching goals.

We go through puberty and grow up physically, but most of us never force our inner-child to grow up as well. We continue to let it run around, act spoiled, wreak havoc, and do whatever it wants. One of the most important parts of getting your act together is getting the childish part of your mind under control. Eben Pagan says, in his program On Being a Man, "The boy must die". I say, "The childish part of your mind must die." It has to go. It needs to be disciplined. It needs to be controlled. It needs to be educated. It needs to grow up and start being more responsible. It needs to get with the program. When it's fighting for power, wanting to take over, and wanting its way, tell it to, "Sit the f*ck down and be quiet". It has to know you're the adult, you're in charge, you're running the show, and it has no part in influencing your thinking, feelings, behavior, and habits. It has to know you're the boss and you're not playing around anymore. Give it boundaries. We don't have the power to control 99% of everything around us - we only have the power to control ourselves, what's happening within us, and how we're interacting with and responding to the world. That 1% we do control, we are out-of-control of 95% of it. We have the power to control our thoughts, feelings, emotions, reactions, what time we get up and go to sleep, our work habits, or social habits, our eating habits, our spending habits, how we treat others, and how we spend our time. We have power over ALL of it - but we're choosing to be controlled instead of controlling ourselves. We're allowing ourselves to act overly-dramatic and emotional, to get up late and go to sleep late, to show up to work late, to not stay sharp and focused, to produce less than we're capable of, to get involved in gossip and pettiness, to eat food we shouldn't be eating in excess amounts, to spend more money than we earn on things we don't need, and to be horribly irresponsible with our time. We're failing to discipline ourselves to manage our thoughts and emotions, to go to sleep and get out bed early, to show up on time, to work hard, to produce, to rise above and avoid petty people and situations, to eat healthier and exercise, to save money, and to use our time in a wise and effective manner.

We're failing to tell ourselves "no", our inner-child is in charge, and self-control and self-discipline is at the bottom of our priority list. Self-control and self-discipline has to come first. It has to become more important than anything else in your life. It has to be life or death. A lot of you are going to freeze up just reading this, but bear with me. Eventually, the stuff we've been talking about will start to sink in and you'll develop a strong understanding of what it takes to make people happy and keep them engaged. When you get to that point, why not throw a party or event at your house? As the host, you control the flow of people, what everyone will do, and what they think of you. Well, maybe not that last one, but you'll definitely feel a lot better about the event if you're in charge of it. People coming to you and introducing themselves makes the process infinitely easier. You can rightfully put together any event in this chapter on your own, but make sure you have the resources and expertise needed for whatever the event entails. The last thing you want to do is push it too far and create a situation where you're uncomfortable despite all your hard work. For those interested in getting out there and taking control of your social life, here are a few more ideas for events you can throw to draw people to your home. Old Fashioned BBQ - The classic neighbourhood barbecue is perfect for drawing people to your house. The best part is that you have enough to do to keep you busy and not force you to socialize 100% of the time. Make sure to provide food and drink for all ages and types - including vegetarians and non-drinkers. Birthday Party - You can throw your own birthday party, or better yet, have a party for someone you're friends with. While the focus of the event will be on the person whose birthday it is, the mere act of having people in your home and showing them around creates an aura of sociability and opens doors for future get-togethers. Sporting Event - If you're an athlete, get some friends or acquaintances together and go play a sport. You can use craigslist, meetup.com or Facebook to find people who like to play Football, Cricket, Softball, or any other sport that you're a fan of.

You'll be surprised how many people are up for a good game. House Party - A house party is as simple as it gets, but it can also get out of hand quickly, so make sure to put controls in place. Only invite people you know in some way and ask them to limit how many people they bring. Make sure to have plenty of food and drink in place and ask certain people to supplement with their own food and drink too. Also, let your neighbours know you're having a party so they can attend or at least not call the police on you. Cocktails or Theme Party - On the other end of the "drinking" related party, there is the classic cocktail party. These are great if you are in an older set or know people less likely to attend an informal party. If you have the space, consider themed parties like garden parties, dinners, or pool events. Pet Event - If you have a pet, this is an incredibly easy way to meet new people. I was often invited to parties with my dog when I was younger, and as a result I met a lot of very interesting people. You don't even need to meet them at home (if you're afraid of 10 dogs running amok in your living room) - a local park or beach is just as perfect. Would any of these suggestions be satisfactory? You can pick one, track the consequences the next day, and--most importantly--use that information the next time you're faced with the same trigger. Let's return to the TRAP monitoring in the example when you're in bed, considering an option, and deciding on one. You can fill out the consequences the next morning. Put it all together, and now you have a six-step process that you can follow. All of us experience intense emotions. Sometimes they're intense feelings of love, attraction, excitement, awe, peacefulness, or joy. We want to create more of these moments. Here, I focus on what you can do when you experience intense emotional states of panic, anger, sadness, loss, guilt, shame, or other painful emotions that are LN or HN.