Able to run 14 apps at a time and effortlessly switch between each without breaking a sweat. Able to do several projects at a time with ease. You're able to keep going on a project (if it's interesting, ADDers are more into creative and entrepreneurial activities than clerical and repetitive ones). 14-hour days? No problem. Adrenaline is my fuel source:) Some approval demanders also take conformity to the extreme of giving up their individuality in order to be accepted by others. This often occurs in dysfunctional relationships. Some people perceive themselves as incomplete unless they have a spouse or partner beside them. For example, writing about dependent love in heterosexual women, philosopher Simone de Beauvoir observes, "the supreme happiness of the woman in love is to be recognized by the loved man as a part of himself..."; and when she is without a man, she is, in the words of Cecile Sauvage, "a scattered bouquet" (de Beauvoir, 2000, 138). Here such dependent individuals (which can also include same-sex couples) think they must have the love of a partner or they are nothing. When death or divorce separates such dependent souls from their partners, they are left without a purpose in life. I once worked with a group of displaced middle-aged homemakers who suffered this plight. Before they could move forward, they needed to reclaim a sense of self-determination, an awareness that they had the ability to decide their own independent purposes. This was very frightening for most of them, but by relinquishing the idea that they must have such dependent love of another to be worthy as persons, they were able to take constructive steps to liberate themselves from a self-stultifying, self-imposed form of bondage. Pushing back against this inertia, some began to build a new life for themselves by going back to school, learning new skills, and seeking gainful employment outside the home. A surge protector allows you to plug several appliances or components of a computer or entertainment system into one outlet. But it has a second, even more important function. It prevents electrical spikes in the power lines -- caused by lightning, power outages, or other factors -- from burning out your equipment. If the power to your house spikes either because of some natural event or something like the restoration of power after an outage, the surge protector will detect the increased voltage coming into your equipment and redirect it to a grounding wire, preventing damage to the expensive equipment you have plugged into it. A good-quality surge protector can redirect a surprising amount of power and save thousands of dollars of complicated, sensitive equipment.

Self-sabotage looks like repeating old patterns and being stuck in a rut without knowing how to change it. Counter intention is when you behave in ways that are in direct opposition to what you said you wanted. Imagine you are playing golf or tennis and you visualize where you want the ball to land. You then hit the ball with all your strength and it goes in the opposite direction. Counter intention is the physical manifestation of self-sabotage. Powerful people align their intention with their actions and as a result get their desired outcome. If you cannot align your actions with your intentions you end up feeling at the effect of your circumstances. So, we have an explosion of technology that is growing exponentially, yet simultaneously we have a decline in happiness in our culture. I believe these two trends are connected. I believe there is no app for happiness, that there is no software for a meaningful life, and that at the deepest levels of human fulfillment, we grossly overestimate what technology can do for us. For example, we all have smartphones now that perform tasks we wouldn't have dreamed possible twenty years ago, and we say they have improved our ability to communicate. We communicate constantly, this is true, but has your smartphone improved the quality of communication with your loved ones? Has your smartphone improved your relationships? Do you have more fulfilling conversations with your family on your smartphone? To be clear, I am not anti technology; I do not live off the grid in a hay-bale house and grow all of my own food. On the contrary, I use a laptop, I use the Internet, I love my GPS, and I am grateful to have them. I am even an advocate of self-driving cars.4 I am also in awe that millions of people who cannot afford to go to school can now access free education online from sources such as the Khan Academy5 or University of the People.6 And I am excited to know that in the near future, if a man discovers that he has heart disease, biomedicine will be able to grow him a new heart from his own cells to replace his sick one. This is all excellent use of new technology. Able to think beyond the idea of a box. This comes naturally for ADDers, while others pay thousands of dollars to try and learn this.

Since you take in more information than the average person, and you're easily distractible, you're more likely to view a problem from many different angles than vanilla people (non ADDers), and therefore come up with more possible solutions to a problem. Need an idea generator? Find an ADDer. IF it's something you're interested in. ADD is mainly a condition of boredom; you have no trouble paying attention to something if it's interesting. Most people find it difficult to do boring or repetitive things but these can often totally shut an ADDer down. Your rapid fire brain + highly creative mind + the ability to hyperfocus equals fast absorption of new information quickly. Dr Ed Hallowell, who has ADD and has written several Delivered from Distraction : Getting the Most out of Life with Attention Deficit Disorder, said he stopped teaching Psychiatry at Harvard University because the non-ADDer's brains were just too slow and they took so long to get it. He got tired of being continually frustrated waiting for them to catch up to the ADD students. Still other approval demanders let themselves be exploited by others in order to get and maintain their approval. These people allow others to take advantage of them, sometimes even to the point of tolerating their abuse. For example, in an office environment they may perform menial tasks or things nobody else wants to do in order to gain or maintain the approval of their peers. They are often first to volunteer for tasks they would have preferred not to do. They tend to have a hard time saying no because they fear rejection by others. As a result, they are easily taken advantage of by others. Think about the following questions and write down your responses in your journal. What sort of things do you do to try to get and maintain others' approval of you as a person? Do you conform? Try to impress others? Control the situation?

Let yourself be exploited? In what ways? Do you take yet another approach? Can you identify with any of the examples of approval perfectionists discussed in this chapter? If so, in what respect/s? How do you feel when you think you have lost, or may not get, the approval of someone whose approval you demand? Your body is like a giant surge protector, intended to protect your cortex (your thinking brain, arguably the most "expensive" piece of equipment in your body) from being overloaded by the spikes in stress you may encounter throughout life. When our bodies are working at their peak capacity, we can go through a host of very stressful, even traumatic events, and still be able to process and respond to that stress. In fact, because life is complex, and because stressors come at us from many different directions at one time, each of us has several built-in surge protectors designed to ground us in times of stress. For the most part, the body is the first line of defense, but if its surge protectors get overloaded, then a secondary set of surge protectors, made up of mental, relational, and spiritual resources, kick in to further diffuse the stress and decrease the voltage of the emotional shock to your system. This allows you to absorb the stress rather than be overrun by it and permits your cortex to respond to the stressor in an appropriate, proportionate, and productive manner. Ultimately, this process enables you to take small, effective steps to overcome your external stressors, such as job stress, financial pressures, life circumstances, and all the rest. Some people continuously fall short of their desired outcome. Life can either be about reasons or results; you either get what you want or you end up with all the reasons that explain why you don't have what you wanted. You may know someone who is "always in second place," who gives up too soon, who is afraid to trust himself and take a risk. Mark always has something slightly off with his appearance. He either has a button missing on his shirt, his sock fall down, or he has spots on his pants. Mark is middle-aged and drives a gray VW car but he secretly wishes it were a BMW. He is a bank manager who aspires to be a vice president but never quite receives appraisals to match his aspirations. is a good athlete but couldn't run the 10K race because he sprained his Achilles tendon two weeks before the race.

He is a talented pianist who downplays his ability. He is outgoing and friendly, but inside he believes that he is never going to be #1 in any area of his life. But will biomedicine repair a broken heart? Our basic emotional needs have not changed. There is even work being done to create human organs with 3D printers,7 so perhaps we will one day be writing songs with lyrics like, "She broke my heart, so I printed a new one." This is the key point: One problem can be fixed with science, and the other cannot. Technology will repair the blood pump but not a broken heart. A GPS will help us find our way through the city, but it will not help us find our way through our relationships. Biomedicine will add more years to our life, but will that mean an additional decade of anxiety and sleep deprivation? Do you really believe--in your heart of hearts--that your chief personal problems with happiness, relationships, intimacy, or depression will be solved with better technology? Are you just waiting for the right app to come along? A perfect match for the wired world, an under stimulated brain and an over stimulated virtual environment. Being an info junkie can be a good thing. Well, not always:) Allows you to notice more and find information and resource that others miss. Also allows you to see possible problems before they arise, and opportunities that others may not see because they have tunnel vision vs. multiplex vision. An ADDer invented the electronic ticket. High energy intense situation? Lots of chaos and change? Sign me up; I thrive on stimulation, change and chaos. We can create order from chaos effortlessly.