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Good for you! So take a look at your social connections with friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, and groups. Some of these relationships may not qualify as healthy and therefore will not be consistent sources of happiness and fulfillment--in fact, they can significantly detract from your happiness and fulfillment. Healthy relationships are based on trust, honesty, equality, good communication, and separate identities. You feel as comfortable doing things to nurture and care for yourself as you would doing these things for your partner. You feel accepted for who you are and have the freedom to be close to others outside the relationship. You are close but separate, have your privacy, and can say no without fear of abandonment or hostility. Of course, there's no such thing as a perfect relationship. We all enter relationships with our own emotional baggage and unfinished business from the past. Feelings of disappointment, fear, and sadness can be part of any relationship at some point. But when your relationship is more about discomfort, fear, and pain than about mutual respect and growth, you need to take action. If you feel a particular relationship is causing you more pain than joy, it's important to voice your concerns and be specific about what your friend or partner is doing that's making you unhappy. You must be clear about what has to change and what you're willing to negotiate to be more satisfied in the relationship. In some cases, you may need a professional, such as a therapist, to help you make the necessary changes to get your relationship back on track. If the other person is not willing to work on improving the relationship, you may need to consider ending it. You shouldn't stay in a toxic relationship because you fear being alone, feel guilty about ending it, or dislike confrontation. This will only increase your risk for engaging in unhealthy behaviors, such as drinking too much, eating too much, or spending too much to "get through it." As for the relationships that are going well, make sure that you're deliberate about taking time to be with these people, even if that means leaving work early or putting off household chores. It's usually more meaningful to share a meal, go to a movie, or watch a sunset with others than to experience it by yourself. Common sense and research show that the pursuit of happiness through healthy connections with others is critical for sustained well-being. Profound knowingness sparkles within us in every moment.

Indeed, within each one of us dwells infinite intuitive wisdom to which we have unlimited, lifelong access. By connecting with our intuition, our inner wisdom, we may gracefully navigate all the moments of our lives. Sometimes we are simply too loud or busy to hear the whispers from within. Sometimes we are too distracted seeking others' advice or approval. Maybe we are just too busy controlling and ordering everything. The secret to accessing our inner wisdom is to surrender gracefully, quieten down and listen in. When we expend a lot of our energy busily controlling, perfecting and planning all aspects of our lives we can find that the deliciousness of spontaneity and other unexpected pleasures of life can elude us. We allow no room for pottering, no space for our imaginations to float free. No opportunity for life to reveal the enchantment and spaciousness we seek. In this way, surrendering makes us more open, humble and flexible human beings. Our conscious surrendering lets life in to work divine magic in ways we could never possibly script. Unburdening ourselves from the need to know and control all things frees up precious energy with which to sparkle on, enjoy ourselves more fully, and chart wonderful new territory in life. Before moving into designing positive intentions, it is worth considering you as an individual and how you do things. This is something you really do not want to waste too much time on. Previously you explored where you are with the H.A.P.P.Y. exercise. Look at your answers again. It will reveal how you think. For instance, look with a perspective of are you driven by moving away from pain or moving towards pleasure?' This is one of many of what are known asMeta Models' in Neuro-Linguistic Programming. If having identified that it is the case you are driven by pain as a strategy (as I am) rather than pleasure, it is a good motivational point.

"What is the worst it could be?" "What if I fail to breathe - what happens next?" "What if I fail to receive, what happens next?" Taking a brief look at a disaster movie in our minds can spur us on to an attitude driven to achieve change/success or to remove ourselves from a painful situation. It is when it moves into prolonged thought you change that into anxiety! The anxiety is a prolonged thought without taking action. Feeling pain deeply isn't pleasant. It hurts. It feels extremely vulnerable. Feeling joy can be amazing. But it too passes. Emotions come and go. Yet they are markers of what has been important--what has shaped you, for better or for worse. Danielle went on from that session and was ready to make other significant changes, in being able to both share more and address the deeper levels of her fears. You're already starting to do that. Remember, mindfulness is connecting to the present. The technique supports "being" instead of "doing." Mindfulness begins first with being aware. When an emotion rises, you say, "I'm aware that I'm sad." "I'm aware that I feel lonely." "I'm aware that I feel relief." Almost like a light that you can barely detect in the distance, you can choose to go toward that light. And as you safely move toward the feeling, you'll deepen your experience of it. You can be mindful at any point--be aware of how your body feels sitting in a chair, or slow down and savor the food you're eating. Meditation is simply a practice of a certain type of focus. There are multiple mindfulness and meditation apps available--Headspace, Calm, and 10% Happier among them--that will help you conquer whatever self-consciousness you might have, as well as what mindfulness folks call "monkey mind"--our minds jumping all over the place! As we prepare to lift things out of your vessel of self, examining each one, let me introduce these factors in a little bit more detail.

Getting familiar with the names of these powerful factors now will smooth your journey through the coming chapters. Locus of control asks, Where is the source of my power? Where is the source of responsibility for the events that happen in my life? How people perceive their own locus of control determines, to a great extent, how they interpret and respond to events. Generally speaking, people's locus of control is either external or internal. If your locus of control is external, Whatever bad happens, you take no ownership of it. Whatever good happens, you take no ownership of it. Whereas a person with internal locus of control operates from a self-concept that says, Anything bad that happens is my fault. Anything good that happens, I deserve credit for. If having determined that your behaviour is one of moving towards pleasure', it is far better to create a future in your mind where everything is full of sunshine. <a href='http://profilebusiness.co.uk/Don-t-blindly-follow-every-advice-about-website-traffic-you-can-find-online-1517277721.html'>A</a> place that makes you smile. <a href='http://indozine.com/Is-the-content-on-different-pages-original--1517277841.html'>A</a> place where even in the obstacles and challenges, you are happy. <a href='http://indozine.com/We-re-searching-in-different-ways-today-1517277901.html'>Even</a> if you found yourMeta Model' was pain, follow this strategy as an add-on after briefly thinking about worst it could be'. <a href='http://indozine.com/Write-Benefit-Focused-Content-1517277961.html'>Like,</a> if you have to drown, drown with a song in your head. <a href='http://intersol.co.uk/Attract-links-stop-chasing-links-1517278081.html'>Like</a> using a so-called negative emotion, such as anger, to create a whole different scenario despite many more obstacles now and in the future. <a href='http://intersol.co.uk/Incoming-links-from-other-website-increase-your-total-ranking-potential-1517278141.html'>One</a> where the end result is positive. <a href='http://intersol.co.uk/Keep-up-to-date-with-the-latest-SEO-news-and-trends-1517278201.html'>It</a> is not about being all rosy-eyed - be realistic in total faith that all ends well. <a href='http://newmedianow.co.uk/Asking-your-suppliers-to-provide-a-link-to-your-site-using-local-chambers-of-commerce-and-guest-posting-on-industry-relevant-blogs-are-all-strategies-that-we-d-recommend-if-you-re-looking-to-gain-more-backlinks-for-your-business--1517278321.html'>These</a> scenarios you create should be huge, loud, impactful, full of movement. <a href='http://newmedianow.co.uk/Is-the-content-on-different-pages-original--1517278381.html'>All</a> senses on full. <a href='http://newmedianow.co.uk/Avoidance-of-unnecessary-subdomains-1517278441.html'>At</a> any moment, we may step outside the illusion ofnormal' living to design and enjoy our own lives with greater flexibility and innovation.

Certain things are unavoidable or necessary in this life, but the rest is much more fluid and flexible than it appears. Indeed, our lives are up to us. Reclaiming free and creative thinking and intelligently, consciously subverting the status quo can lead to great adventure, not to mention immense contentment. Making changes to live a more unique, authentic and magical life in alignment with our innermost values might be very appealing, yet for some there seems to be no inroad in sight. We might feel stuck in circumstances we have created or accepted. We might feel weary of spirit, and see little potential for personal transformation. Maybe we worry that there might not be a safety net ready to catch us when we start to shift spaces or feel things more deeply. When we traverse new ground far deeper and more expansive than we could ever have imagined, we might wonder if the people with whom we share our world will still love and approve of us if we change our lives. Unfulfilled desires of our spirits can manifest as sadness, fatigue, restlessness, regret, ill health and other undesirable states of being. When we courageously tune in to a more expansive sense of our true personal freedom, approving of ourselves first and foremost without the need for all others to validate and agree with us, we may chart new territory for ourselves, recharge our energy, and fall back in love with ourselves and life. In living bravely and authentically, we also pave the way for others to explore the potential of their creativity and dreams. Mark Twain once said, "The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up." Experts have found that kindness results in a surge of dopamine, the brain chemical that's involved in reward, which helps you feel good. Emory University researchers discovered that helping others triggers the same areas of the brain that turn on when people receive rewards or experience pleasure. The bottom line: Helping others brings the same pleasure we get from gratification of personal desire. Fortunately, there are so many opportunities in everyday life to be kind, you don't have to work very hard to find them. Often, we think we have to do something dramatic to make a difference in the life of another person, but even the smallest acts of kindness can go a long way toward making you feel good, too. For instance, you can donate clothes to the Salvation Army, volunteer at a soup kitchen, or give money or time to charity. And don't forget the value of being kind to those you interact with every day. Holding the door for someone who lives in your apartment building, giving up that prime parking spot to a mom who has a car full of young kids, even smiling at or saying hello to people you pass in the lobby on the way up to the office are all great opportunities to be considerate of others. Jon Kabat-Zinn, quoted in this book and a noted expert in the field, has meditation and mindfulness exercises on diverse topics and of various lengths on his website.