In abusive relationships, especially those with a malignant narcissist, it is common for the abuser to completely envelop every aspect of the life of the abused, leading them to neglect their own basic needs and desires to win the favor and affection of their abuser. So, if your principles allow it, please add some fish or another type of animal protein to your diet. If you are deeply committed to remaining completely vegetarian or vegan, take extra care to do it carefully and smartly. Be sure to get vigorous, muscle-building exercise to help balance your insulin levels, and if you're not willing to take fish oil, then supplement with flaxseed oil to get the essential fatty acids you need for your neurotransmitters and hormones. Finally, if you're on a vegetarian or vegan diet, be mindful that vitamin B12 deficiency is rampant in that population--and you need B12 for your hormonal health. So please take 1000 mcg of sublingual B12 per day. Dietary fiber is the indigestible portion of plant foods, also known as roughage. Although there are no nutrients in fiber, it helps move food through your digestive tract, improves your elimination, and pulls toxins and excess fat from your system. Fiber lowers cholesterol and makes a huge contribution to weight loss. Most Americans don't get nearly enough fiber but it is one of the best weight-loss secrets I know, as well as one of the most important components for improving hormonal health. Remember when we learned about the importance of metabolizing estrogen down the proper detox pathway in the liver? Breathing in deeply, I feel joy and peace meeting in my heart center. Breathing out slowly, I feel joy and peace flowing out through my fingertips. Breathing in deeply, I feel my mind clear and sharp. Breathing out slowly, I feel my mind clear and sharp. Breathing in deeply, I feel my mind free and alive. Breathing out slowly, I feel my mind free and alive. Breathing in deeply, I see freedom for all people. Breathing out slowly, I see freedom for all people. Breathing in deeply, I feel healed and whole.

Breathing out slowly, I feel healed and whole. Your dreams wither, your friends and family fall away, all to satisfy the needs of your narcissist and all for nothing. Why? Because there is no satisfying a narcissist. Does failing physical health mirror your mental health? It is not unusual among abuse survivors for their bodily health to mirror their mental and emotional struggles. This can manifest as significant weight changes, new chronic health problems, a suppressed immune system, sleep issues or other maladies that will crop up due to the chronic stress of dealing with the narcissistic abuse. Are you less trusting and more cynical than before? Someone once said that cynicism is the tendency to look for a coffin every time you see flowers, and that's what we're talking about here: a deep and abiding tendency to see the dark side of everything and everyone. You can think of it as a survival trait. You've been harmed, so now you see that potential in everyone you meet, never trusting their intentions because the last time you trusted someone they devastated you. As you'll recall, encouraging estrogen to metabolize along the correct pathway is crucial for avoiding female cancers (breast and uterine) as well as some male cancers, including prostate. Fiber is one of the key elements that direct estrogen down those healthy pathways. In addition, hormonal balance depends upon your liver efficiently metabolizing estrogen, which is then eliminated through your bowel movements. Ideally, you would move your bowels once or twice each day, because if this detox-and-elimination process isn't working well, your estrogen levels can rise, throwing your hormones out of balance. Fiber assists with both detox and elimination, helping you metabolize estrogen in the healthiest possible way and balance your hormone levels. If you follow my 28-day plan, you'll get all the fiber you need. For other sources of fiber, see the box below entitled Fabulous Fiber. And please be sure to consume at least two tablespoons a day of flaxseed or chia seed--perhaps in your smoothies or on your salad. You need these ingredients to help direct your estrogen along the healthiest possible metabolic pathways.

Cruciferous vegetables or crucifers get their name from a form of the word cross; Breathing in deeply, I see all people healed and whole. Breathing out slowly, I see all people healed and whole. Breathing in deeply, I let go of my expectations and fears. Breathing out slowly, I let go of my expectations and fears. Breathing in deeply, I am aware that I'm breathing in deeply. Breathing out slowly, I am aware that I'm breathing out slowly. Do four inhales and exhales through the nose without any stopping or pausing. Then take one long inhale through the nose to the count of five and one long exhale to the count of five. Merge the inhale and the exhale into a circle. Actually feel your breathing move in a circular motion. Caution, therefore, has become cynicism as you view humanity through frightened eyes. Are you suicidal or tempted to self-harm? Hopelessness, the idea that you will never escape the pain, is a key trait among those who have suffered abuse. This is a lesson often taught by malignant narcissists to keep their partners under their thumb, and it can lead the abused partner to look for any way out, including suicide, or to try to cope through self-harm. If this is you, contact your area Suicide Prevention Hotline. They will help you with resources, advice, and acting as a much-needed sounding board. Do you keep yourself isolated? Your feelings of shame over the abuse you are experiencing are not unusual. To make it worse, on top of the trauma inflicted by the abuser, society does additional damage through victim-blaming and ignorance, with family members, friends, even clergy and law enforcement minimizing and invalidating the pain and hurt of the abused person.

As a result, such victims often turn away and don't seek help because they believe that doing so will only make things worse. when you cut them open, you can see their cross-shaped core. Crucifers include broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, and Brussels sprouts. This type of vegetable is high in sulfurofane, a key nutrient that encourages your estrogen to metabolize down the correct pathway in the liver. These types of vegetables are also rich in other nutrients. If you have trouble eating several servings a week, you can throw some broccoli or cabbage into a smoothie and drink it for breakfast. Depending on what other ingredients are in there, you won't even taste it! The more deeply colored a vegetable is, the more dense the nutrients are likely to be, so you want as much color as possible on your plate. Brilliant red peppers, deep purple aubergine, dark-green kale and collards, orange carrots, and bright-yellow summer squash are all wonderful sources of vitamins and other key ingredients. Most Americans eat two or three servings of vegetables each day, but I'd like you to get that number up to seven, or even ten. Both organic and conventionally grown vegetables have about the same nutrients, so in that sense, both are equally good for you. Then repeat the sequence four more times. You always start where you are, so at times you should begin by offering healing to yourself for the piece of suffering that is right in your face. Stopping, calming, and resting are preconditions for healing. Healing requires receptivity and acceptance. None of it can be forced. You have to create the right conditions and then let go. The process of healing begins when you acknowledge your suffering and explore it, when you admit what is happening and accept it. Another way to view your breath is as a lighthouse. It helps you know exactly where you are, even in a raging storm.

Your breath is like a spiritual lighthouse guiding you back to the present moment. Do you compare yourself to others? Malignant narcissists feed on their partners' fear of not being good enough and often show attention to someone else to force their partner to compete for their affection. More than that, the partner sees other couples who are happier and healthier, they see the narcissist treat strangers with more respect, and find themselves asking the age-old question: What have I done wrong? In spite of what the narcissist would want them to believe, the partner has done nothing wrong. They have no blame, for all the blame belongs to the narcissist. Have you become prone to self-sabotage? Malignant Narcissists use a steady stream of verbal abuse, unfair criticism, insults, and denigration to nurture self-doubt, anxiety, and a feeling of worthlessness in their partner. This emotional battery sometimes leads to the kind of toxic shame and feelings of worthlessness that keeps the victims of the abuse from following their goals, dreams, and other pursuits, doing what they love or going after success because they feel they don't deserve it. Do you rationalize your abuse? Often, rationalization, allowing the abused to trivialize or even deny the abuse they are suffering, is used as a coping mechanism that minimizes the cognitive dissonance between the abuser's claims of love and the abuse of their partner. However, organic vegetables have three important advantages. First, they taste better! So do organic meat and chicken--you can tell the difference right away. Second, they don't contain pesticides, which, as we will see in article 6, can add significant stress to your system, potentially raising your cortisol levels and beginning a hormonal cascade that could ultimately worsen your symptoms. Moreover, pesticides can function as xenoestrogens; that is, they mimic the effects of estrogens or they can block hormonal pathways. Either way, they potentially contribute to hormonal imbalance. Third, organic vegetables have a special strength that they will share with you, which is why I'd love you to go organic. Think about how organic plants need to fight off insects in their environment.