Exterior lights should always be turned on at night. Every door should have a light and preferably a two light bulb fixture in case one blows out. Motion sensor lights provide a bright sudden burst of light when someone walks by and can be effective at scaring away someone who is up to no good. At the same time they give you a heads up that someone is in the yard. Install one on all the corners of your house. Be sure it's high out of reach so that a criminal can't unscrew the bulbs or cut wires to disable the light. INTERIOR LIGHTS Do you leave a light on when you are away from home? They could admit to being stressed',tense', wired' or havinga crisis of confidence', but not to being anxious' orafraid'. This is hardly surprising. In almost every human culture, fear is demonised as a sign of personal weakness - especially in men. And in our society, the brainwashing starts very young. Think about it. When you were a little kid and you were feeling frightened, what kinds of unhelpful things did adults say to you? And in the process, what messages did they send you about fear? For example, did you ever hear Don't be silly; <a href='http://al-tet.allyoulovetrading.com/index.php?option=com_k2&view=itemlist&task=user&id=235719'>There's</a> no such thing as ghosts (or monsters, or vampires)'? <a href='https://setiweb.ssl.berkeley.edu/beta/team_display.php?teamid=1054142'>The</a> message here is: feeling afraid means being silly or stupid. <a href='http://admitro.com/index.php?qa=user&qa_1=slipdeal30'>PAULINE:</a> [asking leading questions to help him develop a robust response] Do you have other friends you could be in contact with? <a href='http://photointeriorpro.ru/user/whipbow14/'>LENNY:</a> It's been a while. <br /><br /><a href='http://www.sdmnapoli.it/index.php?option=com_k2&view=itemlist&task=user&id=301822'>But</a> I suppose I could. <a href='http://pubglife.ru/user/beachsalmon45/'>PAULINE:</a> And you still have your children and grandchildren? <a href='https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/123198770-manning'>PAULINE:</a> So, would you be okay? <a href='http://www.enjoycre.com/index.php?option=com_k2&view=itemlist&task=user&id=839460'>LENNY:</a> Yeah, I guess I would. <a href='http://quoratravel.com/index.php?qa=user&qa_1=slipboat53'>Clients'</a> worst fears are often unrealistic. <a href='http://www.drupalconsult.com/demo/qa/index.php?qa=user&qa_1=banglerugby02'>Your</a> objective is to help them think of more realistic outcomes, but many clients have difficulty doing so. <a href='http://www.dom-ita.com/index.php?option=com_k2&view=itemlist&task=user&id=1336180'>You</a> might help them broaden their thinking by next asking for the best outcome. <a href='http://vpi3pl.com/index.php?option=com_k2&view=itemlist&task=user&id=1880863'>PAULINE:</a> Now the worst may be unlikely to happen. <a href='https://www.transtats.bts.gov/exit.asp?url=https://pbase.com/topics/frenchshape52/offers_to_help_offset_typica'>If</a> you can't avoid them, try employing one of the coping strategies from above. <a href='http://cvpvm09.ru/user/slipperiod23/'>Perhaps,</a> you can appraise them as a stressor and find a new way to interact with them. <a href='https://weblib.lib.umt.edu/redirect/proxyselect.php?url=https://www.openlearning.com/u/pantycarol62/blog/PositiveAspectsDisadvantagesAndCostComponentsToConsider'>Sometimes,</a> certain stressful activities can also be avoided. <a href='http://vopsav.ru/user/rubberwater15/'>For</a> example, if you find cooking stressful, then you can enlist the help of a friend or family to cook with you or you can sign up for a healthy meal delivery service. <a href='http://muzeybiruch.ru/user/satinbrandy65/'>Whether</a> a certain place triggers a distressing memory or simply makes you feel overwhelmed, don't go there. <a href='http://jifficlassified.ca/index.php?page=user&action=pub_profile&id=394754'>There</a> will be times when you won't have a choice. <a href='https://galbiz.net/user/babiescarol05/'>For</a> example, when crowds make you nervous but you have to attend your child's school play. <a href='http://camp-ete-2018.matutinal.fr/questions/index.php?qa=user&qa_1=soccerwoolen31'>A</a> special situation like that shouldn't be avoided anyway (it could be good for you), but some crowded places can be avoided and should be at all costs. <a href='http://foto-samoletov.ru/user/oilvacuum53/'>The</a> key to avoiding stress is to decide what can and cannot be completely avoided. <a href='http://gosduma2003.com/user/policelibra59/'>You</a> then want to make a plan for how to face what you cannot avoid. <a href='http://uaeartnews.com/new/index.php?option=com_k2&view=itemlist&task=user&id=115563'>Most</a> of us do. <a href='http://knsz.prz.edu.pl/forum/member.php?action=profile&uid=657145'>But</a> do you always leave the same light on, like the light over the kitchen sink or the lamp in the corner of the living room? <br /><br /><a href='https://tabslife.net/user/pantyray89/'>Unfortunately,</a> leaving these beacon lights on aren't fooling the crooks. <a href='http://www.centrosubmurena.com/index.php?option=com_k2&view=itemlist&task=user&id=2046546'>You</a> need to be more unpredictable if you want the bad guys to think someone is home. <a href='https://genius.com/slavevacuum66'>Put</a> your lights on timers. <a href='http://tokyohomepage.com/index.php?page=user&action=pub_profile&id=166383'>It</a> is the best way to achieve unpredictability. <a href='https://sundaynews.info/user/pantylibra82/'>Timers</a> allow you to randomly turn on lights at scheduled times through the night. <a href='http://www.agriverdesa.it/index.php?option=com_k2&view=itemlist&task=user&id=1324170'>Remember,</a> be unpredictable. <a href='https://amara.org/en/profiles/profile/-q6FPM6uISpPKe6PSsXi-iMXXt3g7-drK-w5qdWjIAk/'>Avoid</a> scheduling the same light to go at the same time every night. <a href='https://www.bonanza.com/users/46175786/profile'>Landscaping</a> <a href='http://www.feedbooks.com/user/6639120/profile'>Maybe</a> you heard some of these:Don't be such a baby', Grow up' orAct your age. And these messages are powerfully reinforced by pop culture. In virtually every article, comic, movie or TV series, the heroes and heroines are . Indiana Jones, Charlie's Angels, James Bond, Wonder Woman, Superman, Batman: they have no fear! Okay, occasionally, just occasionally, they do reveal a tiny glimpse of it. For example, I do remember one James Bond movie where you actually saw a few droplets of sweat on his forehead. The film was Dr No, and the scene I'm thinking of had Sean Connery strapped to a table, legs akimbo, and a laser beam was about to slice his testicles off. So in that situation, he was allowed to have a bit of sweat on his forehead. But when the whole world is about to blow up, all he does is smile and crack a joke. With all of this conditioning going on, it's hardly surprising we grow up with a negative attitude towards fear. What's the best that could happen? LENNY: That I'll call him and he'll want to get together.

PAULINE: I wonder whether the best would be that he'd call you today and apologize for being out of touch and make plans to see you right away. LENNY: I guess that would be the best. PAULINE: And what do you think will probably happen? LENNY: It's possible that he's only a little annoyed with me or that he's been busy and maybe he will want to get together. CLINICAL TIPS When clients' worst fears are that they'll die, you obviously won't ask the How would you cope? Instead, you might ask for the best and most realistic outcomes. You might also decide to ask what the worst part of dying would be: fears of the process of dying, fears of what they imagine an afterlife might be like, or fears of what would happen to loved ones after the client's death. Further, you do not want to avoid everything all of the time. Yes, there are certain people, activities, and places that you should avoid for your own well-being, especially if those things are toxic or harmful to you. However, you also want to push yourself a little bit out of your comfort zone by facing what you once thought should be avoided, which leads us to the next A. If you think about it, there are usually more ways than one to get something done. We often frustrate ourselves trying to achieve something in a specific way, not realizing that there might be other ways of reaching the same desired outcome. If a certain order, style, manner, or method pushes us beyond our stress threshold, it's probably time we alter the plan, adapt the process, and investigate a different angle. For example, if you're scared of using an elevator, you'll obviously prefer to take the stairs. But it won't be practical if you work on the 30th floor of a skyscraper. Here, you would want to use a problem-focused coping strategy coupled with exercise. First, you want to alter your stressor and come up with a solution for dealing with it. Remember, the last thing a burglar wants is to be seen. Houses with plenty of hiding places are ideal targets because they keep bad guys from being seen by the neighbors.

Take a good look at your home's exterior and eliminate these hiding places. Trim bushes and hedges closest to your driveway, sidewalks, and doors to a height of no more than three feet. Don't let the shrubs under the windows grow taller than the window sill. Prune the lower branches of trees. A good height is seven feet off the ground. Then prune the upper branches away from the house to discourage someone from climbing the tree to gain access to your second story. Some homeowners believe fencing will deter a burglar because he can't walk through the yard as easily. This is true but fences--especially privacy fencing--provide cover for bad guys since they can make it difficult for neighbors to see your house. This is a great shame, because as we'll see later in the article, fear is like a powerful fuel; But while we're looking at fear as something bad', we'll waste a lot of precious energy trying to avoid or get rid of it. <a href='http://oresmiusz.pl/index.php?option=com_k2&view=itemlist&task=user&id=785380'>Now,</a> once again, pause for a moment and for ten seconds, notice what your mind is telling you. <a href='https://my-rent.su/user/policeradish91/'>So,</a> is your mind on board for the ride, eager to find out more? <a href='http://wiki.soippo.edu.ua/index.php?title=Typically-the-denial-of-the-history-as-well-as-abrogation-of-discipline-m'>Or</a> is it saying,This guy's full of it. Clearly I bought the wrong article. This isn't what I wanted to hear'? Whatever your mind is saying is fine by me. I fully expect that as you keep reading, there will be times when your mind is very enthusiastic, and other times it will be very sceptical and critical. That's just what minds do. Impact of the Automatic Thought Questions Below, I help LENNY assess the consequences of responding and not responding to his distorted thinking.