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Like a merry-go-round needs just the right center point to spin around effectively--bringing joy and laughter to everyone who rides it--life does, too. Life needs God at the center. What I didn't realize was that when I made myself the center, life lost its balance, spun wildly out of control, and came crashing down. God nudged me to see that first glimpse of Truth: He must be the center of my life if I wanted to bring my life into balance. This meant my life needed to be under His control. However, if you want to avoid narcissistic relationships in the future, your chances are much better if you have a clear sense of your right to be a self-determining, independent person. Letting Go of Codependence The relationship between you and the narcissist was codependent, whether you realized it at the time. You tried to please and take care of the narcissist, while he tried to get his way in everything. That was continually to your disadvantage. To have a strong partner relationship, both parties must be able to articulate what they want and at the same time respond to and care about the other's feelings and needs. Otherwise, the relationship will be codependent. Speak Up for Yourself It can be very hard to speak up in interactions with narcissists. They don't listen well and often respond to comments with hostility and derision. Yes, they are both mammals, animals, or if you would like to classify them as just simple house pets! The point being they have similar wants and needs, on the flip side they are considered polar opposites pertaining to wants, needs, value personality traits etc So, what is a perspective exactly, is it an opinion? Well, kind of. Well my opinion is this. An opinion is more of a way of thinking giving a certain situation or circumstance they may arise or become a topic of life or conversation.

Perspective is more of a general way of thinking more less like your own personal ideology. The definition of perspective is a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something, a point of view. Importantly peoples perspectives can be changed, simply by having an experience through someone else eyes, experiences or opinions looking at without judgement. I feel like relationships are very complex. It's like buying pieces to a puzzle, without seeing the actual puzzle, picture or how many pieces are on the actual box! Although his language may not have been abusive, it certainly may have offended some people. It made me ask if that type of language was really necessary and prompted me to consider the line between being demanding and being demeaning. Being demanding can be beneficial, because it raises the level of expectations from those around you, but demeaning someone only hurts that individual and negatively influences that person's desire to work for you next time. It's one thing to be demanding and to have high expectations from those around you, but it's not acceptable to be demeaning. What Energy Do You Carry? People may or may not remember what you say or did, but they will always remember how you made them feel. Have you ever noticed when people enter a room, they bring a type of energy with them? For example, you're at your cubicle talking with someone when another person approaches you and you get a feeling of, Oh great, I'm so glad he's coming. Or maybe it's a feeling of, Oh man, he's coming over here. Let me wrap up my conversation and get the heck out of here before he comes, because he's either going to say something I don't like, put me down, or try to make me feel inferior. What's the point of being happy but feeling useless? Selfish pursuit of happiness might feel good for a while, but sooner or later, we realize that life is not about us. People can only be happy and useful if they feel good about themselves. But what if you don't know who you are? I think that's the biggest problem we have.

We never think about what's important to us. We don't live consciously. We can only do that if we live by certain rules we set up for ourselves. Those rules are our values. Understanding who you are and what you want is an ongoing process. I am willing to drop all pretense. I am willing to be vulnerable. I am willing to admit that I am good at some things, and not so good at others. I am willing to be emotional, and to show my emotions. I am willing to feel good about myself. I am willing to be okay with the fact that I can't do everything and be everything to everyone all of the time. I am willing to communicate honestly about what's going on inside of me. And I am willing to believe that I am lovable no matter what. With this kind of willingness, we can change our lives for the better. Willingness is powerful medicine. The bad news? In some cases, even a single course of antibiotics can permanently change a person's microbiome. In young children--a population among the most highly treated with antibiotics--it appears this risk is even more pronounced, and the resulting disruptions to, and loss of biodiversity in, the microbiome are directly related to metabolic disturbances and abnormal immunologic development. In many ways today's senior citizens seem to be hardier than their grandchildren are: The elderly suffer fewer food and environmental allergies; Because they were never extensively treated with the types and doses of antibiotics or exposed to the many environmental toxins that younger adults and children have been.

Of course, older generations faced other serious health risks that we don't even need to consider today--rheumatic fever among them--but generally speaking, they certainly had much healthier and more robust microbiomes. Nature or Nurture? During the past 30 years, the prevalence of neurological autoimmune diseases such as MS has increased by 3. And that number rises dramatically when all autoimmune diseases are considered. For example, the prevalence of autoimmune gastrointestinal diseases such as celiac has more than tripled during that time, at a rate of 6. I waited fifteen minutes, twenty, half an hour, and then gave up. She had never been even five minutes late. I began to worry. Voices started in my head. I was on the wrong track. I'd frightened her off, missed important cues. She'd flown away, back to the forest. Disappeared again under her dark cowl, into her depressed withdrawn despair. The voices escalated. Who do you think you are? Only then would I find the security my heart had been searching for. Weeks went by and the revelation God gave me through Atonement Child simmered under the surface in my heart. I would love to say that I instantly ran to Him, confessed everything, and that He made my life perfect. But honestly, I couldn't have handled that. God knew I wasn't able to see, receive, or understand the whole truth all at once.

I was undone by just the smallest glimpse He had given me. He took me baby step by baby step towards healing and hope for a future free of myself--and full of Him. Even now, transformation is a slow, and at times agonizing, process where God chips away at the lies we believe--lies that keep us from becoming who we already are in Christ. God used Jonathan's unconditional love to confirm His own love for me; In high school, Jonathan had always been consistent in his kindness and friendship. Caretakers want to smooth over any discord, so they back down and give up pretty easily. In addition narcissists try to turn comments they don't like back on the other person. Add in the fact that narcissists always have to be right, superior, and in control of everything, and the result is that anyone actively engaged in a long-term relationship with a narcissist will become codependent over time. To regain your sense of independence you have to rediscover your voice. Your ability to share what you think and feel, set boundaries, make your preferences known, and stand up for your rights all depend on your being able to speak up for yourself. You may need to start by writing down your thoughts, observations, opinions, and likes and dislikes in a journal. Put words to what you are feeling and experiencing. Then pick your safest friend or family member to share these words of truth you have discovered. Allow yourself to ask for what you want, give your opinion, select the movie or restaurant you go to, and say no once in a while. Speaking up is the difference between being a wallflower or joining the dance. Imagine trying to piece two puzzles mixed together like the whites and the colors in your washing machine. Doing this without knowledge of what it is you're trying to create, not knowing the type of pieces or the capacity, can be difficult. On the flip side with luck, it may be easy, depending on who is on the other side trying to figure it out. Is Everyone Meant to be I s everyone meant to be in a relationship?