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Follow your dreams, and don't let anybody hold you back. Primer for Dealing With Fear If pleasure isn't the key, I said, can I assume purpose is the key? You can indeed, Scott answered. Purpose is the thing that gets you going. It's the thing that gives you meaning. It allows you to have a vision of the person you want to become so you can hold that vision in your mind as you dance through the complexities of life. I thought about how many people I'd met over the years who, at least on the face of it, seemed to have it all--beautiful family, big house, money in the bank. The only thing missing was a true sense of contentment. As I scanned through these people in my mind, I realized they did all struggle with a lack of purpose. So if people can just identify a purpose, their path to happiness will become clear? Yes, it will. Walking medita t ion Walking meditation is the only practice in which the meditation, which otherwise requires physical stagnation, involves movement. In Buddhism in particular, it plays a crucial role in relation to mindfulness meditation. This form of meditation is so simple because, comparable to breathing meditation, it connects to one of the most natural and very common functions of our body, namely walking, and uses it to create clarity and awareness. The procedure is very simple. Move around a room or take a walk through nature as normal. First you move normally and watch how exactly you walk. Concentrate completely on this simple and banal activity, which you normally never think about, and analyze it in detail .

This increases your concentration and moves the focus from your surroundings to yourself. For the starters, it is best that you exercise this meditation in a room that is large enough. What does it mean to be held back by another person? In the previous article, we briefly examined expectations, and how their pressures can hold us back through making us work according to assumptions and illusions. As you get better at recognizing expectations for what they are, you may find this happening less, and yet still feel held back in other ways. If this is the case, don't panic. Sometimes, our interactions with others can cause us to respond emotionally, and it is this response that then holds us back through fear. Fear doesn't have to be oppression. Fear can be procrastination, waiting until the perfect time to do something, despite the perfect time being an expectation that may never come true. Fear can be self-defeating arrogance, assuming you already know how a course of action will turn out, even though the worst-case scenario is again nothing more than a pessimistic expectation. The fear holding you back might not even be your own; That's their fear, their expectations, and it is a fear which ignores that risk is inherent in just about any worthwhile venture. Scott smiled. There's nothing wrong with a pleasure-filled life, but it won't make you happy in the long run. With that conversation in mind, I asked Susan a few questions to get her thinking about her purpose. I needed her to imagine herself in a future that would make her happy. I needed her to imagine where she wanted to spend her time over the next couple of decades. We talked for a while, bouncing from subject to subject, but it was obvious that Susan was struggling to find clarity, so finally I asked a question I thought she'd be able to answer: Do you want to be rich? What's that? The question had clearly taken her by surprise.

I mean, who doesn't want to be rich? Doesn't everybody want to be rich? You should be alone and not be disturbed. You are also welcome to do this meditation barefoot. But only if you can feel comfortable with it personally . But the more your feet are in contact with the ground, the easier it will be for you to concentrate on the meditation. Guided walking meditation Take a position in the middle of the chosen room. Anchor your legs firmly to the floor. Feel the connection your feet have with the ground and how it holds you. Relax and try to loosen up your body. The hands dangle relaxed on the sides of your body. The most insidious fear, however, is not the fear of failure, it's the fear of succeeding, and the fear of the guilt that comes with believing you could have succeeded sooner. No one wants to feel like they've allowed themselves to suffer, so it becomes easier to believe the suffering cannot be stopped, or that it's not that bad, really. How does one shake off a belief like this? Through forgiveness, especially of the self. No one on this earth is perfect. We aren't born knowing our true strengths. Acknowledge perceived mistakes, and let the emotions associated with them wash over you, but also accept that now your mistakes have highlighted that you can do better, your life can become better in turn. Appreciate the inner growth that led to this point, then move on.

Use your newfound perspective constructively as you grow further. Keep treating your inner child kindly. Sure, everybody wants to be rich, I answered. But few people know what kind of rich they want to be. What does that mean? Susan asked with a sideways glance. Let's try this, I said, taking another sip of coffee. Do you want to be yacht rich? Yacht rich? I'm still not sure I understand what you mean. Do you want to be so rich that you own a yacht? It's a pretty simple question. If you find this annoying, you can alternatively fold your hands in front of your body or place them on your stomach. Especially at the beginning it can be unusual to let your arms hang down loosely and to be aware of it. Make sure that your knees are loose and your not press legs. First of all, feel your feet standing on the floor. Make yourself aware of the contact that exists between the sole of your foot and the ground. Make sure you keep breathing completely normally. Before you go into the movement, focus your attention only once on your breathing and keep this state for several breaths in. Now turn to your feet.

Be aware of what it feels like to stand in the middle of the room. Lower your head slightly so that you can see where your feet are and where exactly on the floor you are placing them when you are about to start moving. Whenever you're outside your comfort zone, for any reason, your fears love to seem larger, like great looming shadows on the wall. However, shadows are rarely the actual size of the problem causing them. When you feel your inner child getting frightened, focus your voice on saying true, reassuring things, paying special attention to which parts of your situation you can control. If you're truly struggling, it never hurts to start small. Begin with more manageable acts towards the life you want. For instance, maybe you dream of living in a more spacious home. The idea of saving up the money and moving can seem impossibly scary, but slowly giving away various bric-a-brac that you haven't touched for weeks is much more manageable, and will give you a taste of living more spaciously as the lack of clutter suddenly frees up floor space you never knew you had. Related to this, escaping into a cleaner neighborhood may seem almost a pipe-dream, but picking up some of the litter around you to make your street at least a little cleaner is easy. When too scared to approach a task with great fear associated with it, always start in areas where you know you have control, and slowly build from there. As you succeed in small ways, you'll feel more confident approaching slightly bigger subcomponents in your task, and this confidence will only grow as you explore this control on the immediate space surrounding you. Susan thought for a moment and then shook her head and replied, No, I don't want a yacht. I don't even know where I'd store a yacht. Okay, great. That's a start. Do you want to be mansion rich? Like, do you mean do I want to own a mansion? Do you want to be so rich that you can have a massive mansion with a pool, tennis court, five-car garage, and enough staff to care for it all? Do you want to be mansion rich?