Looks are not nearly as important to them. Confidence is the only thing that matters and by approaching without some tired line, you show her that you are confident in who you are. Have a conversation. You'll never get her to trust you enough to let down her guard if you can't have a conversation. Find out what she likes and latch onto it. Talk about what she's into. You were moving your hands in slow motion in response to the whirling flies enveloping you, and the waves of flow that 21 The Grateful Soul: The Art And Practice Of Gratitude occurred were like watching water move around your body effortlessly. I observed for several minutes, taken by the sheer beauty of the dance. I then walked into the swarm to join you and, for a few moments, felt the absolute joy of nature caressing us. You had a way of showing me the connection to all things that I now carry in my soul, a part of the way I view my world, an honoring of the life force that surrounds me always. I thank you for showing me how easy it was to see the beauty in even the smallest or most ordinary of things. I was so drawn to this feather that I excitedly put it in my pocket to bring home to show you. When I started to share that I had found this stunning feather, you stopped me before I could give you any more information. You then described the feather and the location in perfect detail. What I had not known was that earlier in the day, you had found a beautiful blue feather and placed it on the window sill of that same shop. There's only one way you can take these steps, though: you have to be real with yourself. Let's work on this together. I want you to take some time right now to make an honest assessment of where you are in your life. For example, where do you stand with your family?

With your other relationships? With your physical condition? With your job? How does where you are right now match up with where you want to be? I've always heard that the one person you should never lie to is your anesthesiologist. If you're about to go into surgery and you tell the guy putting you under that you haven't had a drink in a year even though you took six shots the night before, the anesthesiologist can give you the wrong dosage and do some serious damage. I already had a thing for motorcycles, and I learned about Supercross through him. I would take dirt-bike magazines to class with me. I loved it. It was my happy world. I went up to a guy working for ESPN at a race and said, `How do I get started? I learned to write; I learned to interview athletes. It was a great training ground. I wasn't getting paid, but that was okay. But that doesn't mean her path was easy. Ask lots of questions. Even women are self-centred (they may never admit it though). Do your homework and you'll be rewarded ten-fold. There is nothing more important than sealing the deal.

If you don't have the cojones to make evasive manoeuvres. Just come out with it. Ask for her number. Say something like I've gotta get going, but if you give me your number we can continue this conversation later. If you really have what it takes you can use the What's the next step? What ever answer she gives she'll be committed to it as this triggers consistency in her brain. I was in awe of our unexplainable connection and felt gratitude for my awareness of details. Many people passed by the same window sill, and yet the feather remained for me to find, a gift of your making. Once we were working on a hot summer afternoon, moving some items from one location to another. Due to the heat, a floor fan was running to keep the air flowing. I had music playing loudly in the background and was busy putting games away on a shelf. All of a sudden, I felt the energy shift. The Grateful Soul: The Art And Practice Of Gratitude changed my awareness. You were gazing intensely at the fan. A feather tied to the outside rim of the fan was blowing in the breeze. Then I saw what had you so mesmerized. Well, I would say there's one other person you should never lie to, and that's yourself. The reason is pretty much the same. If you're trying to make moves to get your life going in the right direction and you lie to yourself about your situation, you're likely to make the wrong moves that could affect you in the worst possible ways. The key to your success is being brutally honest with yourself.

I understand why you might not want to be super-honest with yourself. Sometimes some of the hardest truths to face are those that get to the very essence of how we define ourselves as human beings. Maybe you've spent the last fifteen years defining yourself as a wife, but the brutally honest truth is that your marriage has been lifeless for a long time. You can barely stand being in the same room with your spouse, and you haven't said a truly loving thing to each other in years. Your marriage is hollow, but you've so completely defined yourself by your marriage that you have no idea who you would be if you were honest enough to admit that it is in shambles. Or maybe you finally see that the reason you hate getting out of bed in the morning is that you despise what your job has become--but when people ask you about yourself, the first thing you tell them about is your work. When Jamie started working for ESPN covering NASCAR races, the challenges only increased. I don't think there was anything harder I could have taken on than covering NASCAR at that level, she says. I look back and wonder where I got the courage. I was coming into this garage; I had to figure things out on my own, which was the best way but also the most challenging way. My confidence came from overpreparing. I still overprepare. I put together a article of notes for every driver, talk to the drivers and crew chiefs at the track . I use that same approach with other forms of racing. Feeling overprepared lets me feel confident and natural. Once you get her number leave. The longer you stick around the more likely you are to mess things up. Yes, women want you to be with strong personality. Women want you to have the ability to protect them, yes, even the feminist, this is subconscious need.

You can show her your strong personality by saying big things. What do I mean when I say big things? Big things should present your life as an adventure. It can be everything, such as plans for life, your hobbies and much more. But don't talk to much about you . You say one lie (that you are bold-faced aware you are saying), and you have just changed the game. I, too, gazed in amazement at the feather dancing in the fan wind, realizing its dance was perfectly synchronized with the music playing in the background. Time seemed to stretch as we both watched the magic taking place before our eyes and ears. I was as much in awe of you as I was the feather in the fan. You regularly saw magic in the smallest of life's details, and because of that, I, too, was blessed to participate in those moments. We shared that gift of life, the ability to find the higher-level emotions of joy, compassion, gratitude, care, appreciation, and courage in the face of even the most challenging of situations. The most daunting task we experienced together was your death process. I don't believe many people consciously choose death, but when faced with the irrefutable truth of your cancer-filled body, you accepted your journey with grace and courage, and, to this day, I am in amazement. Gratitude came in waves as the moments carried a sacred energy we both cherished, as your body continued to let go, to shut down to life as we had known. Your soul stayed strong and carried us both, carried me when I found myself in moments of experiencing the loss that was looming, the saying goodbye to your physical form that had become such an extension of me. You never lost focus on your task at hand or your compassion for me. You know deep inside that you have to get out of that job before it kills you, but what are you going to say to people when they ask you about yourself in the future? Hey, you know what happened to me and football. When the Colts cut me, I was so deflated that I couldn't even leave my parents' house. Often, we know something is over, but we can't deal with what it means for it to be over.