What is the deal with fats and oils? There is so much conversation in the media about fat. Is it good, bad, or ugly? In order to answer that question, we need to explain what fat is and what it does. Fats can be broken down into saturated fats and unsaturated fats. Unsaturated fats are further broken down into monounsaturated fats (MUFAs) and polyunsaturated fats (PUFAs). PUFAs are further broken down into the essential fatty acids (EFAs): omega-3 and omega-6 fatty acids. Let's go through this in more detail now. News flash, if you don't seize your time, as Napoleon Hill puts it, and determine how you spend your time every single day, time will find you years down the road wondering where it went. Do you really want to be another old geezer that looks back at life and wonders where time has gone by? Nir Eyal, whose writing appears in publications like Fast Company, Harvard Business Review and The Atlantic, writes, Only by setting aside specific time in our schedules for traction (the action that draws us toward what we want in life) can we turn our backs on distraction. Without planning ahead, it's impossible to tell the difference between traction and distraction. We can't expect these great things to happen without being immensely intentional. So, it's time to break out the calendar and block out what your day looks like. I don't care if you use the calendar on your phone, Google calendar, a daily planner article, a print out calendar or a scratch sheet of paper. Just write down what your day looks like, every single day. (This was Wednesday, November 13th, 2019. Unfortunately the possibility is always there, and relapses occur for many in the recovery process. In a treatment process or a twelve-step program, the addict will have defined for himself what sexual sobriety entails and that will vary depending on how he acted out.

It could mean he will not use the internet to access sexual sites or it could mean he'll not use the internet at all. He might decide that he can still masturbate or that masturbation is not allowed. He will have identified what is a part of his addiction cycle, and he will be accountable for what triggers him to act out. Most women find that with some time in recovery, they look at any relapse in its overall context. What was the behavior? How did the addict respond to having a relapse? How quickly did he tell you and others to whom he is accountable about the relapse? In what ways was he accountable? Saturated Fats Saturated fats are solid at room temperature. They are very stable and have a long shelf life. The most common saturated fats are found in butter and other animal fats, such as milk, cheese, and meat. Saturated fats are found in both animal and plant products. Examples of plant substances that have saturated fats are coconut oil, palm oil, palm kernel oil, cocoa butter, and avocado. The general feeling is that saturated fats should be avoided because they will increase risk of cardiovascular disease. In 1908, rabbits were given a diet high in cholesterol and saturated fats, and their atherosclerosis (hardening of the arteries) increased. Reducing saturated fat is recommended in all cardiovascular prevention guidelines. As we point out in our editorial response to the PURE trial, it is not that saturated fat is good and carbohydrate is bad, but rather that saturated fat is bad and simple, refined carbohydrates are worse. You've got a day of work ahead of you, correct? Well, what are you going to do on that workday?

What will you do before work? How about during lunch? Will you do anything during lunch? What about after work? Do you like to do certain activities after work? Are there certain things you should do after work? How do you spend your time on the weekends? What would you like to do during the weekends? What is he doing to prevent a future relapse? Is he asking himself what he needs to do or address in his recovery that he was not attending to or previously addressing enough? One woman became aware her partner was watching sexual videos and masturbating. He told both his twelve-step sponsor (a chosen mentor in his twelve-step program) and her within a couple of days of his relapse. In her mind he was being accountable by quickly owning his behavior and having some insight into what triggered it. He also had a plan to handle the trigger differently should it occur again. She expressed her disappointment, fear, and anger about his behavior, but realized it was his to address and that she would stay focused on her recovery. Therese was confronted with her husband's relapsing when he began using pornography again and then sought out women at a massage parlor. He had been relapsing about every four months, which involved pornography on the internet, but this behavior was a major escalation from that. By then he had been in recovery for a few years and his relapses were like binge drinking--periods of being dry and then a short period of acting out on a cyclical basis. But here is the dilemma. Saturated fats are very useful for the food industry because they have a long shelf life.

Foods made with lard and other animal fats last longer. When saturated fats were thought to be unhealthy, food producers had to reconsider how foods were being prepared. Interest shifted to unsaturated fats. The Shift to Polyunsaturated Fats When saturated fats fell out of vogue, food producers started looking at unsaturated fats as an alternative. We mentioned that unsaturated fats are broken into PUFAs and MUFAs. PUFAs are fats that are liquid at room temperature, such as vegetable oils (corn oil), but they also can be found in sources such as whole grains, nuts, and seeds. When we extract the oils from corn (corn oil), seeds, and other vegetables, we are extracting pure fat. Get out the calendar and map out your day. Curious to know what this looks like? I shared an example of my work schedule in a previous article, but here's a snapshot of my calendar again on article 206: You and I have various things that need to get done in our days. In order to get them accomplished, they need to get done at a specific time. How will I remember when meetings happen? I schedule it in the calendar. When do I actually have the time to take care of action items? I schedule the action items in the calendar. If I want to make headway in a article I'm reading, but I have a full day of work, when can I read? This relapse led to a therapeutic separation for the couple. The consequence here appears more severe, but in the overall context, they both saw this relapse as a threat to his long-term recovery and their marriage, and they felt a therapeutic separation would help them better address their individual recovery issues.

You have choices about how you respond to known relapses. How you think you will respond and how you actually respond may vary. That is most likely dependent on your history with the addict and how much more you are willing to tolerate. You may feel there is no room for any relapse or the relationship will end, and that is your bottom line. Women whom I have worked with had the greatest difficulty with relapses when the relapse included physical contact with another or that had legal ramifications. Relapses that include masturbation, viewing porn, or attending a strip joint may be more forgivable. But all relapses are serious because they create distortion in your relationship; It may offer some comfort to believe you know exactly how you'd handle a relapse should it occur. All of the beneficial fiber is removed, as well as many of the other nutrients found in the whole food. Most processed oils are used in packaged or processed foods and for cooking, in salad dressings, and in dips. Studies have shown that when saturated fat is exchanged for PUFAs, there is reduced cardiovascular risk. This led to the advent of the worst fat in our society--and we created it: trans fat (see article 97). First, we have to break down what is in polyunsaturated fats. PUFAs can be broken into omega-3 and omega-6 fatty acids. Omega-3 Fatty Acids Omega-3 fatty acids have been studied extensively, mostly from marine sources. Omega-3 fatty acids are important for reducing triglycerides (fat in the blood). Recent studies of highly concentrated omega-3 fatty acids in pill form (marketed as icosapent ethyl) show that they can reduce the risk of a cardiovascular event in people with elevated triglycerides along with either cardiovascular disease or diabetes plus another risk factor. I schedule it in the calendar. The goal here, as Nir Eyal puts it, is to eliminate all white space on your calendar so you're left with a template for how you intend to spend your time each day.