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Donna was looking forward to a night out with some friends. Pay attention to how you feel the match of no inside you. Don't allow yourself to skip past this step by saying that you feel nothing. You do feel something because the name you have called yourself is not true for you. If you are having trouble identifying a no feeling, then choose something a bit harder but still clear. Perhaps you can think of a time when you said or did something that was misunderstood and hurt someone. Ask yourself, Did I intend to hurt that person? Listen to the answer inside you. Notice what no feels like for you. Now pay attention to how you hear the word yes inside you, and notice the difference. To do this, get calm and quiet again. You must not criticize them too strongly, or they will not listen or even return. But you must not be silent, either, or they cannot benefit. You must search for contradictions in their bodies and in their lives. That is dialectical practice. These contradictions must be resolved so that natural harmony is restored, and the way to health is opened. You saw that last patient with me. She suffers from an insufficiency in yin and an imbalance in the relationship between heart and spleen. But she also is a difficult personality. She angers her husband and children.

They, they have no compassion for her; She wanted her husband, Joe, to stay home with the kids, which he would have gladly done if only he had known about Donna's plans. As it turned out, both of them had made plans with friends for the same night. With a little problem solving the situation could have been handled, but Donna was so angry about the mix-up that she simply canceled her own plans and told Joe that she would be willing to stay home. It was not a big deal, she told him. She seemed so sincere that he believed her, but two days later as Joe was getting ready to go out, Donna flew into a rage about how unfair he was being to her by making her stay home. Joe calmly reminded her of the chain of events leading to her decision to stay at home and said he would be happy to talk about it the next day. Then he mentally left the conflict at home and enjoyed the evening with his friends. Another difficult issue is when someone in your life creates a crisis. Creating a crisis can be conscious or unconscious. It is a way of turning up the heat so that someone will respond. Then say to yourself, My name is [fill in your name]. Notice how you know that this is a yes. Do you feel calm and knowing? Do you have a sense of excitement? Do you feel your heart expand and fill with happiness? Do you sense light? Has a smile come to your face? Do you feel peaceful? Again, do not let yourself bypass this step.

If saying your own name doesn't give you a clear yes feeling or knowing inside you, try something else. She has no balance in her emotions. This is all part of the contradiction in her body. To treat her we must treat each of these problems, though diet, tonics, and herbal medicine are most important. It is not easy. It takes a long time. This patient certainly is difficult. The result is still uncertain. The doctor must believe in the treatment in order to convince the patient to persist and not to give up hope. We try to convince the patient to change. Even after treating more than ten thousand patients, I feel the difficulty of treating this woman successfully. Picture a two-year-old playing in the kitchen while his mother is fixing dinner. He notices that no one is paying attention to him, so he starts tugging at her leg. She continues to chop carrots. The child starts to feel anxious because she is still not paying attention to him. Now he is slapping her leg and whimpering. If the mother stops for a minute and talks to him or picks him up, things will probably be okay. If not, a full-blown temper tantrum may ensue. That is a two-year-old's way of saying, I need you, and I feel mad and scared when you do not respond. Something similar happens at times for the person with DID.

He may indeed feel two years old himself. Think of something that you love unequivocally. Since family relations can involve many mixed emotions, think of something other than family, like a pet or a favorite hobby. Now ask yourself, Do I love [fill in what you absolutely love]? Listen for how your body and mind know that the answer is yes--that the answer is a match of vibration. Learn this yes signal inside you, as it will be your signal for many future conversations with your inner wisdom. When you get a nudge or inspiration of inner guidance and need to confirm whether it is coming to you accurately, be sure to ask the question in a way that your yes and no work for you, such as: Is this opportunity a good one for me to pursue? Should I let this opportunity pass? Is this new person I've met a good match for what I desire in my life right now? Is this idea I have a good one for me to dedicate my time and effort to? She is convinced she is ill and cannot become better. That is dangerous. She is making the problem worse. I must educate her better about the condition of her illness and health. She must struggle for balance. I am not at all satisfied with my treatment for her problem. When I was a student, I thought practice would be easy once I had mastered the medical classics. But I find practice is always difficult. The more I experience, the more I see that it is difficult to be a good doctor and give effective treatment.

Nothing in chronic illness is clear. Or, he might feel older, but deficient in the skills needed to get his needs met. Like a two-year-old, he begins to act out his fears and rage in an effort to get you to respond. That effort might present itself as verbal threats, infliction of self-harm, or even suicidal gestures. Let's be honest; The challenge is to respond appropriately. Some ways you could respond while keeping your own boundaries intact include the following: A good resource for learning about self-mutilation is The Scarred Soul: Understanding and Ending Self-Inflicted Violence, by Tracy Alderman. Safety is extremely important to persons with DID. In the therapy situation, it is important to understand that the person with DID may do a quick scan of the office each session to make sure nothing has changed since the last session. He might also ask questions from time to time for reassurance that you are not angry with him or planning to leave. Will taking action on this idea help me fulfill my desires? When you use the strategy of asking yes/no questions, it is important to allow the answer to be different from what you expect. Truly discern the wisdom that is available to you from energy waves that are syncing up. You may come up with an idea or a plan for how to proceed on something, and that plan may work just fine. However, there may be a better or easier way to fulfill your wishes that you are not aware of. After you listen to your inner GPS, you may still not know the details of how your wishes will be achieved, but you will know you are on the right path. You can have confidence you are making choices that will bring you your desires. I recall a time when my siblings and I had to make some business decisions together. As you now know, we have some very different viewpoints, and those differences were causing hurt feelings, which were then creating distance between us.