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His behavior is an endless vicious cycle that has nothing to do with you. Multiple Manifestations of Addiction Addicted people often have histories of trauma, and the more profoundly they have been abused, the more likely they will have multiple addictive disorders. Some people have several forms of addiction operating simultaneously, while others trade off these forms (ie, substances or behaviors), giving up one only to get lost in another. It is common that when one addiction is addressed, other addictive behaviors that do not get addressed gain strength. Many women have partners in recovery from one manifestation of addiction, such as alcohol, only to ultimately be confronted by sex addiction. I got help for my alcoholism and I quit drinking because it was messing up everything. But I didn't give up all of my womanizing and affairs for another twenty years. If everything's indoors, then there's going to be an imbalance in our battery. To create that balance, you need be exposed to the outdoors. We're from nature, we are nature. It is us and we are it. The Circle is almost complete, and Mae, you have to believe that this will be bad for you, for me, for humanity. PULL THE PLUG In previous articles we've looked at the history, philosophy, and psychology of an always-connected, technology-addicted lifestyle. I've shared cautionary tales, anecdotes, and before-and-after examples of fitness technology gone wrong, both from my own life and from more than fifteen years' experience of coaching athletes at every level. And we've looked at some practical ways in which you can use technology to enhance your self-awareness, retune your senses, and reconnect to your instincts. In addition, we've compared and contrasted a limited, constrained, device-dependent indoor existence with the boundless, explorative, self-reliant opportunities that fully immersing ourselves in nature offers. You were told to GET OUT THERE and CHANGE YOUR WORLD, right? But what the hell does that even mean?

This is too complicated to think about, so you continue to stress about your current problems. The overdue bills, the car that's got a couple dents you want to fix, the apartment that's seen better days, the clothes you needed to wash yesterday, the problem child you can't seem to make better. All the problems we were told to solve, magically floated away into the breeze. It's awesome that so many people maintain a dreamy-eyed vision about their future. They want to get out there to become doctors, create non-profit organizations, pass the bar exam to defend the innocent and make the world a better place. Who doesn't want to be a positive influence? We must realize, though, that saving the world isn't a momentary decision. It's not a one-time, flip the switch situation. I didn't see the sex messing up things. My marriage was struggling, but I just thought that was a problem between the two of us and had nothing to do with this secret world I had going on. I used sex just as I used alcohol: to ignore pain, to block out my feelings. It separated me from a lot of loneliness, confusion, anger, guilt, and shame. I know I look like I have my act together to the outside world, but for my whole life, starting as a kid, I have felt lonely. I was never confident of myself. I was confused about why I did a lot of the things I did, and I felt guilty and ashamed. I sort of lived in two worlds: what I felt inside and what the world would see. They were two very different things. But I got good at buying into the outside image and ignoring that inner world. Now that we've given you an ingredients list, it's time to share the recipe. To change your life and break out of the technology Matrix that many of us have been imprisoned in for far too long, you need to forgo technology algorithms for self-discovery, experimentation, and learning.

A big part of the solution is in the very title and concept of this article: unplug more often, use technology as a learning aid instead of a taskmaster, and reengage with yourself, other people, and the natural world around you. But we'd be omitting something if we didn't leave you with some practical takeaways as well. So we brought in two of our good friends to help: Tim Ferriss and Steven Kotler. Tim Ferriss's Top Ten Tips In The 4-Hour Body, one of his New York Times best-selling articles, Tim Ferriss reveals that he has recorded every workout since he was eighteen, taken over one thousand blood tests, and spent more than $250,000 on testing and tweaking in an effort to optimize his health, fitness, and wellness. So if anyone is qualified to dispense advice on this article's central themes, it's Tim. While I was, fittingly, walking up an Oregon mountain on a snowy afternoon in January 2017, Tim gave me his top ten tips for using fitness technology more effectively, enhancing your self-awareness, practicing presentness, and much more. Determine in advance how much ability and time you have to interpret data, before you gather spreadsheet after spreadsheet's worth of data. Before any of the real world-changers started building orphanages in South America, or built their thriving nonprofits to bring people off of drug addiction, or provided tons of money to impoverished families in their city, they all did something very important. They all started by saving their world and themselves. As these world changers took small, humble steps to help improve their close surroundings, their realm of influence expanded further. And, now, after decades of being a great human to society, they created a thriving life for themselves, helping many others thrive. People finally come up to them after a decade and ask, Man, how did you do it? I want to do what you do! What these spectators don't realize is it's absolutely unrealistic to think we can solve giant problems without investing several years to improve ourselves and the world within our reach. It's a humbling first few years for these great individuals, but the decades afterwards will look quite heroic. I believe a great example of this can be found in Andrew Carnegie's life. You may believe he's a man who had all the right things occur, but I'd argue that even the most privileged of people can squander their opportunities instead of seize them. Well, that is exactly what alcohol and then sex did for me. They allowed me to disconnect from that inner world and believe my own lies about myself.

I told myself that my behavior wasn't different from other men's behavior and that my behavior didn't really hurt anyone else because they didn't know about it. Addicts will often seek help for the addiction that is most visible to others, the one they have the least shame about or the one that is the most disruptive to their lives. Addiction to substances, for example, are usually much more disruptive on a daily basis and are often more visible to others than sex addiction. It is also common for someone addicted to alcohol or other drugs or gambling to initially be willing to get help but continue to hold on to sexual secrets. Sometimes, while receiving help for one compulsive behavior, an addict is acting out in another addictive disorder because he believes he can handle it or thinks once he no longer uses drugs or drinks it will no longer be a problem. The denial and rationalizations about the hidden behavior go unrecognized. He does not fully understand that addiction takes on a life of its own. Unfortunately, many who get help for their identified addiction do not undergo any additional assessment for other problems. When I've come to the wrong conclusion it's generally because I've collected more data than could be parsed effectively. Decide what you're going to do with all this information by asking yourself the three whys, each building on the previous answer. So if, for example, you're a cyclist who's going to track your heart rate, ask yourself: Why am I going to track my heart rate? Because I want to improve my lactate threshold. Why do I want to improve my lactate threshold? So I can maintain high power output longer. Why will this help me? Because usually I can't keep up with the pack in a race. Ask these whys regularly. Let's see how Mr Carnegie saved this world bank in the late 1800s. How One Man Saved His World

Andrew Carnegie was the steel magnate in the late 1800s, and was considered one of America's wealthiest individuals. Andrew Carnegie's steel company in 1901, was the first company valued at $1 billion (this is also valued in 1901 money, so we're talking about a $29 billion company in today's money). In 1901, he sold his steel company to J. Morgan for what would equate to approximately $401 billion in 2019. What did Carnegie do with his wealth? He is well-known for his philanthropy, where he would invest his wealth into libraries, museums, performance arts centers and other hallmark places in the United States. You can't deny that Andrew Carnegie's philanthropic efforts created a ripple effect of positivity in countless lives. Andrew Carnegie is no apathetic man. It's possible for his sexual acting out to continue for years before a crisis compels him to address his long-standing sexual compulsivity. After ten years of being clean and sober from alcoholism, I knew I needed help again. I was not drinking or using. I was still going to a twelve-step program, but I was sexually acting out and being dishonest about our family money. Knowing it was catching up with me, and that my wife was very suspicious, I went to a treatment program. I had been to treatment ten years before, but I didn't get honest about anything but the alcohol. This time I told them I was in trouble for these other things. The first time in treatment I thought that because my sexual acting out was always associated with my drinking that I just wouldn't do it if I didn't drink. And I also knew that if I exposed my sexual acting-out behaviors, they would want me to tell my wife, and I didn't want to do that. For two years I did okay, mostly because I just deliberately kept myself away from women as much as possible. If you can answer all three, then you're getting somewhere. But if you can't get past the first one, then what you're doing is akin to managing symptoms instead of curing a disease.