For example, your keystone habit of going to sleep at the same time every night increases the chance you'll be able to roll out of bed when your alarm goes off. This can foster additional healthy habits, because you will have enough time to exercise (since you didn't hit snooze), which increases the chance that you will crave a healthy lunch. As you read, try to identify what your keystone habit is so that it can naturally affect the other domains. In the following sections, I teach you to establish routine cues in your environment that set the stage for developing self-care habits. I suggest that you read the whole chapter and, while reading, think about which domain you want to focus on as your keystone habit. Next, after you have picked your keystone habit, go back and reread that section to prepare for implementing the targeted strategies. As you begin to practice your keystone habit, track how often you engage in your target behavior and what happens when you do. To track easily and effectively, you can use the sample monitoring form offered later in the chapter. Tracking your routines will help you refine your efforts and make continued progress as the weeks progress. To help you build these habits, in each section I first provide healthy guidelines to help you get the lay of the land. After that, you will find suggestions for establishing specific cues to initiate and integrate the habit into your life in ways that support both larks and owls. With dietary supplements, it's important to note that no agency, government, or professional oversees product safety. Therefore, it's wise to make sure the manufacturer of dietary supplements has a good record. For me, I take vitamin supplements, including folate and vitamin B12, but can't tolerate omega-3 capsules. They're torture on my stomach and give me the worst reflux. St. John's wort affects me similarly. I have difficulty metabolizing them. Given that I had a major depressive disorder, SJW provided little relief for me, so I went back to prescription antidepressants. As a clinician, I endorse the use of alternative measures and encourage patients to learn about them. I think well-being is an art form.

It involves the understanding of science, embracing of the holistic, and finding the balance that works uniquely for you. Traditional therapies continue to be the go-to treatments for depression, but several new techniques are taking center stage. As with anything you choose to undertake, be an educated consumer by learning all you can about these treatments. Become familiar with their risks and benefits, pros and cons, short-term versus long-term benefits, and cost and accessibility, so you can make an informed decision. Behavioral activation (BA) therapy proposes that the act of avoidance leads to depression.19 This offshoot of behavior therapy attempts to make you aware of the inactivity and patterns of avoidance in your life, so that you can modify your behavior. BA teaches activation strategies--behaviors that get you involved and engaged with others. You and your therapist will monitor your progress with charts and rating scales during this ten-to-twelve-week therapy. Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) is a treatment only for individuals who have become free from depressive symptoms. The aim of MBCT is to teach you about thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations by using cognitive therapy and meditation practices. The purpose of this approach is to help you detect and respond to the warning signs of relapse. This treatment is presented in class format for eight weeks by licensed professionals trained in MBCT. Therapeutic lifestyle change (TLC) is a fourteen-week holistic program that focuses on six essential areas including aerobic exercise, light therapy, adequate sleep, learning of anti-rumination strategies, omega-3 fatty acid supplements, and enhanced social support. This program is in its research stage at the University of Kansas under the direction of Dr Stephen Ilardi. Repetitive transcranial magnetic stimulation (rTMS) is a treatment in which a coil-like tool is positioned around your head to apply short, undetectable magnetic pulses to excite target-specific areas in the brain. Less invasive that ECT, studies report minimal side effects, such as headache, tingling, and light-headedness. These side effects were reported to decline quickly, however. Repetitive transcranial magnetic stimulation is performed while you're awake, often in a doctor's office. Some individuals report discomfort with the clicking sounds the magnetic coil makes, so earplugs can help. The treatment takes about forty minutes, and daily treatments are recommended for a month. There is no down time, so you can drive home the same day and carry on with your daily routine.

Like ECT, you will come back from time to time for additional treatments if your depressive symptoms return.23 Because rTMS is so new, there are no long-term studies to review. An enemy of the Buddha named Devadatta concocted a scheme to kill the Buddha. Having enraged an elephant with alcohol, Devadatta let him loose at a time and a place Devadatta knew the Buddha would be. Everyone on the road ran away. Everyone who saw the Buddha warned him to run away. But the Buddha kept on walking. His devoted companion, the Venerable Ananda, thought he could stop the elephant. When Ananda stepped in front of the Buddha to try to protect him, the Buddha asked him to step aside; Ananda's physical strength alone surely could not stop this elephant. When the elephant reached the Buddha, his head was raised, his ears were upright and his trunk was lifted in a mad fury. The Buddha simply stood in front of him and radiated loving, compassionate thoughts toward the animal--and the elephant stopped in his tracks. The Buddha gently raised his hand up with his palm toward the beast, sending him waves of loving friendliness. The elephant knelt down before him, gentle as a lamb. With the power of loving friendliness alone, the Buddha had subdued the raging animal. The response of anger to anger is a conditioned response; it is learned rather than innate. If we have been trained from childhood to be patient, kind, and gentle, then loving friendliness becomes part of our life. It becomes a habit. Otherwise anger becomes our habit. But even as adults, we can change our habitual responses. We can train ourselves to react in a different way. There is another story from the Buddha's life that teaches us how to respond to insults and harsh words.

The Buddha's rivals had bribed a prostitute named Cinca to insult and humiliate the Buddha. Cinca tied a bunch of sticks to her belly underneath her rough clothes in order to look like she was pregnant. While the Buddha was delivering a sermon to hundreds of people, she came right out in front of him and said, "You rogue. You pretend to be a saint preaching to all these people. But look what you have done to me! I am pregnant because of you." Calmly, the Buddha spoke to her, without anger, without hatred. With his voice full of loving friendliness and compassion, he said to her, "Sister, you and I are the only ones who know what has happened." Cinca was taken aback by the Buddha's response. She was so shocked that on the way back she stumbled. The strings that were holding the bundle of sticks to her belly came loose. All the sticks fell to the ground, and everyone realized her ruse. Several people in the audience wanted to beat her, but the Buddha stopped them. "No, no. That is not the way you should treat her. We should help her understand the Dhamma. That is a much more effective punishment." After the Buddha taught her the Dhamma, her entire personality changed. She too became gentle, kind, and compassionate. When someone tries to make you angry or does something to hurt you, stay with your thoughts of loving friendliness toward that person. A person filled with thoughts of loving friendliness, the Buddha said, is like the earth. Someone may try to make the earth disappear by digging at it with a hoe or an ax, but that is a futile act. No amount of digging--not in one lifetime or many lifetimes--makes the earth vanish.

The earth remains, unaffected, undiminished. Like the earth, a person full of loving friendliness is untouched by anger. Many people who struggle with depression also struggle with mental confusion, detachment, forgetfulness, and a decreased ability to focus--often referred to as brain fog. This is why it's particularly important to support the depressed brain with habits and behaviors--like healthy eating, frequent exercise, and supplements--that improve cognition. The following supplements are a good place to start: Vitamin B12 and folic acid. I mentioned these in the previous section, but they bear repeating here since low levels have been linked to poor cognitive performance, brain shrinkage, and even the development of Alzheimer's disease. L-tyrosine is linked with increased energy, alertness, and improved mood, as mentioned previously. It also improves mental focus. This was shown in a double-blind trial of twenty-three army personnel taking part in a weeklong combat training course. Those taking supplemental L-tyrosine found that it supported mental focus and mood while helping to prevent feelings of depression. Amla is a popular Ayurvedic herb that's packed with antioxidants that can nourish the brain and improve mental functioning, including memory. Researchers are also looking into the herb's potential to clear beta-amyloid plaques and slow the development of Alzheimer's disease and other neurodegenerative conditions. Lion's mane is a beautiful cascading mushroom that enhances cognition and memory by speeding myelination. Studies also show that lion's mane protects against brain cell death, which improves both mental clarity and memory. It has also been shown to halt the accumulation of beta-amyloid plaques, making it a possible treatment for those with Alzheimer's disease. Magnesium L-threonate, listed on supplement labels by its patented name Magtein, is a vital mineral for healthy brain biochemistry and a key ingredient (along with amla and lion's mane) in the Brain Awakening supplement we provide to our clients.[7] One recent study that appeared in the Journal of Alzheimer's Disease reported that supplementation with this unique form of magnesium helps to prevent brain atrophy and enhances brain fluidity in older adults.[8] It also has been shown to improve memory in those with dementia. Now, for the most important part of the equation - changing the rapport you happen to develop once it has been generated. Meeting someone, finding out you both love the same movies and music and that you are both equally inept storytellers doesn't mean you will get along with one another infinitely. You still need to generate the rapport that leads to friendship (or something more). How to Treat Someone You've Just Met - When you first meet someone, the conversation will be based on nothing more than the casual interest you generate in those first few seconds.