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Going to bed and getting up late, not flossing your teeth, not picking up after yourself, playing on your phone, not staying focused, choosing fun over work, spending money on little things you don't need, and choosing to get upset and worried instead of remaining calm are little things adding up. Within a year's time, it adds up to very big problems. When you become meticulous and pay attention to the little details, you notice big changes. Tony Robbins says he was getting frustrated one day when he was playing golf because the ball kept going in the water and his instructor told him he was only a little bit off. So, after paying attention to tiny details in his stance, he was back on target and putting the ball where he wanted it. Something as small as shifting his body a millimeter was creating a 30ft to 50ft difference in where the ball landed. The little things you're consciously overlooking and ignoring are making a huge difference in your life, behavior, and results. The world's most successful and elite people who have their act together in every way all something in common - they keep their emotions under control. They don't allow emotions to slow them down and get in the way of what they're doing. When an unnecessary emotion comes up, they kill it and drive forward. They push through it. They don't freak out and spend time on it. The same cannot be said for those of us who don't have it together. Emotions are running our lives and 99% of the emotions we experience on a daily basis are a complete waste of time. We're addicted to our emotions and they're keeping us from remaining calm, driving forward, and focusing on what's truly important. We believe experiencing emotional highs and lows is completely normal and if we're experiencing a lack of emotion, we're bored. That's why we're interested in the latest gossip and "beef" between people. That's why we're interested in crazy situations on the news. That's why we watch dramatic TV shows. That's why we're addicted to social media and listening to people rant, rave, and complain about how they're offended, what they don't agree with, and how life is hard.

We crave the emotional rush because we're overly-addicted to emotions. But to get the most out of the natural light coming through your window, don't face it head-on. A study looking at the impact of sunlight on a person's emotional state found that the amount of sunlight penetrating a room had a significant impact on subjects' feelings of relaxation--when they were sitting sideways to the window. The level of relaxation decreased when the person was facing directly toward the window or had their back to it. We've all heard the stories of how creative types embrace their messy side, but researchers have also found empirical evidence that messiness can help you think more imaginatively. A trio of experiments dove into this topic, comparing how participants performed when asked to complete a creative task in a cluttered room versus an organized room. As Craig worked on his keystone habit of exercise, he learned that routine exercise helps him feel better about himself, more connected socially, and less worried. He found that team basketball, in particular, is an enjoyable way to fit exercise into his schedule. Moreover, he learned that on nights when he plays basketball, it naturally facilitates his progress on additional healthy habits like returning home to eat a balanced dinner and falling to sleep at his set bedtime. What Did You Learn from Hitting Pause and Then Navigating Your Traps in a More Flexible Manner? Craig has learned through TRAP monitoring that when he sets aside 20 minutes of worry time to sort through his scattered, anxious thoughts and feelings, he actually becomes more focused and productive. He also learned that even though talk radio is on during the drive to work, he doesn't listen to it all the way. Instead, he grumbles at traffic or gets lost in thoughts about what he must do later that day, both of which leave him feeling wound up and stressed. So he explored an antidote and discovered that his favorite music holds his attention better than the talk radio. The result is that he stays more present and relaxed on his daily commute. What Behaviors Do You Want to Continue to Build into Your Daily Structure That Foster Momentary Experiences of LP and HP? For Craig, exercise, balanced eating, and sleep are all self-care habits that made major contributions to moving out of LN and into HP and LP states on a typical weeknight. Moreover, with scheduled worry time and by listening to music on the drive to work, he has now learned strategies that promote LP and HP and get him out of the LN rut. Energy - This works in degrees. Too little energy and you appear distant and disinterested.

Too much, however, and you are borderline confrontational and overwhelming. Be energetic and excited to meet someone without making them feel uncomfortable. Issues like these create a distorted reality about mental illness that negatively sways the public's attitudes on mental health. Luckily, research has shown there are methods to address public misconceptions about mental illness. Dr. Patrick Corrigan reports that public stigma can be addressed by following a three-pronged approach: protest, education, and contact. When stigma is detected, protest can serve as a means to suppress negative attitudes about mental illness. Educational campaigns ground mental health issues in truths instead of myths. Contact, the most meaningful approach for reducing stigma, showcases the personal experience of people living with mental illness to the public. Stigmatizing views of mental illness are not limited to the general public. Studies have shown that well-trained professionals from an array of health fields stereotype psychological disorders. Explanations for these prejudicial behaviors run the range from professionals being trained to "treat the chart" rather than the person, to career pessimism, and, finally, to job burnout.23 Other studies demonstrate that stigma exists in the health field itself, with professionals marginalizing career choices of those who wish to specialize in psychiatry and nursing.24 What all this data shows is that even in the mental health field, stigma can run deep. Now, I don't consider it a style of coping but rather a form of stigma that needs to be addressed. Another form of stigma occurs with the use of diagnostic labels. As previously mentioned, diagnosis is a meaningful way to identify illness. However, there can be a downside in that diagnosis differentiates you from others. Labels inform society who is "in" and who is "out." If you've been stamped with a diagnosis, you're one of "them," not one of "us." Assigning a label to a person with mental illness further encourages society to think in "either's" and "or's." Either she's "sane" or "crazy," "violent" or "calm," "cooperative" or "belligerent." There's no in-between. This rigid thinking can be found in stereotyped public beliefs that mentally ill people are unable to make decisions for themselves, are childlike and require constant help, and are dangerous and need to be isolated from society.25 Studies show that the more severe a diagnosis, the more debilitating the stigma.26 Essentially, "more is worse." If two individuals are in debt--one with a $5,000 deficit and the other with a $50,000 deficit--the more troubled one is the person with the larger debt. Similar is the degree of perceived mental illness. If two people have mental illness, one with the label of "bipolar disorder" and the other with "schizophrenia," the person with schizophrenia will be viewed as being more troubled.

Research reports that children and adults labeled by their mental illness tend to receive poorer healthcare and are less likely to receive the same quality of health insurance coverage than non-mentally ill people.27, 28 Culture and religion also shape stigmatizing attitudes about mental health. For example, a study of Muslim university students found that during times of psychological turmoil, prayer was more acceptable than seeking treatment at a healthcare agency.29 Corrigan and his colleagues emphasize that the stigma of labeling can lead to label avoidance.30 This occurs when people conceal their mental illness, avoid places that provide mental-health services, and/or completely deny themselves care for fear of being the object of stigma. In the simplest of terms, if you avoid the label, you avoid the stigma. From time to time, I have seen label avoidance in my practice. Distinction - Stand out in your own personal way. Find ways to dress differently from people in your situations or to be more interesting in subtler ways, such as telling funny stories or inviting people into conversations actively. You don't need a "thing" but if you have one, by all means, use it to distinguish yourself from others. It's easy to stand out if you are confident, well-groomed and interesting. Don't let yourself define these things by social convention, however. Be yourself and work within your expanded comfort zone to build new relationships and make a powerful, lasting first impression. The subtle attraction technique is about harnessing that little self-defeating voice in your head that tells you you're not good enough, smart enough or attractive enough, and beating it to a pulp. The whole idea behind this technique is that every single one of us have something that drives us. But, if we aren't as successful financially or social popular as we'd like (or if our relationship/dating life isn't what we want it to be), than what is perhaps driving us, isn't positive but negative. If you aren't getting what you want in life, it's because your thoughts may be negative, and they are driving you from taking more changes in love and beyond. All you have to do to change everything in your life around is by changing how you view yourself around. This technique is all about changing the dialog going on inside your head, and you can easily do that by turning each negative thought into its positive opposite. So, if you think, "I'm not attractive enough to be with that person," immediately think the positive opposite, "I'm attractive enough to be with that person!" Take about ten seconds to feel it. Feel it in your bones, and your soul. Believe it with all your might, and repeat this exercise any time someone or something triggers your insecurity. Positivity is attractive, and draws people to you.

Simply by focusing on positive thoughts, you have the power to magnetize yourself easily, effortlessly and immediately! The fascination volcano technique. Do you remember that movie, Ferris Bueller? His teacher in the movie spoke in a monotone voice--no fluctuation in tone, and no excitement. As he spoke, he (hilariously) put the students to sleep--so much that one student was drooling on his table! While the actor did an incredible job playing the role of the most boring man on Earth, he also clearly demonstrated what repels people away. He wasn't fascinating at all, but boring, unenthused, and without a spark of passion in his life. There was nothing about him that attracted others. When you want to magnetize more people to you, you have to think like them: does the way you speak bring others in, or have them turning around and walking away in search of a more dynamic person to listen to? To apply the fascination volcano technique, it's simple. All you have to do is focus on your tone. If you want someone else to be excited in what you're saying, fluctuate your tone. Sound excited about what you're talking about and others will be too! If you're on a date, you can even start your story by laughing about something for a quick second, and then smiling, lead in with the story your date will laugh at too. Speak in a moderate volume, so that they can hear you clearly. Pause for dramatic effect (just for a second!) and let them chime in on the story, too. Being dynamic is about the dialog between the two of you. Tell stories that are relevant, set up your story to promote a sense of intrigue from your audience (or date, significant other, etc.) and react to their reaction! As you start to use your daily schedule to integrate behaviors you liked from Principles 2 and 3, I'll teach you to begin looking for patterns so you can see what's serving you well and what you may still want to tweak. Then I'll help you identify some new goals you might want to additionally plan into your schedule.