Wednesday A. There's nothing to say about yesterday's interview -- it was flat, lifeless, almost as if I were doing it because I said I would, but we both understood it was a formality -- the business of dying like a gentleman. Hollow and neutral, and you looked neutral too -- like someone politely playing out a role that's been assigned to him. I recaptured the pain I so ridiculously sought -- not because I sought it, but because the interview was such a dead end. Last night was just a repetition of Monday, including putting myself through various little activities, and the weird sensations when I went to bed. It seems as if there's nothing but pain in the whole universe -- so cruel, so utterly incomprehensible, so fruitless. I keep saying why -- why, why, why should it happen to a relatively innocent person? I can't believe I ever did anything to deserve this -- and somehow I am convinced that it has nothing to do with deserts, it has to do with something else I don't understand. There is no growth without some pain, but it's impossible to believe -- no, not believe -- to feel that anything creative can come out of anything that seems so wantonly destructive. I long to go on my vacation. Looked at from a larger perspective, canyon experiences are like coming through a tight space and time that eventually proceeds to a huge opening. From a feng shui view, a canyon might be a staircase or a dimly lit narrow hallway that you try to navigate quickly while carrying two heavy bags. Anything in your way will add to your level of anxiety and your difficulty moving through this space. Add to this scene a ringing telephone that you desperately want to answer and notice your breathing, body sensations, thoughts, and emotions. You seem to have very few options as you try to accomplish several things in a narrow physical space and time frame. You may experience confusion, and your level of anger may increase the faster you try to move. A feng shui canyon can be a very narrow entrance into any room or a small work space where tall things tower over you, such as articlecases, furniture, walls, people, or tight deadlines. Canyons are the narrow places in your life where your financial resources appear to be very thin. There seem to be barriers to a larger view, and you wonder if you have enough money for today and the rest of the month or year. Your money seems to flow out very quickly.

Try to be grateful for the opportunities that are coming your way. If a client invites you to work on a project with them, refer you to another client, or offer a recommendation, take the time to thank them properly. Thanks to a co-worker publicly, don't be afraid to show your gratitude. They always find time to criticize and tend to forget about finding time to appreciate, thank, and accept others' efforts. Overall, people can forget what you're saying, but they'll remember how they feel in your presence. Also, be grateful for the time you have on this planet to develop your abilities and work in a career you enjoy and to which you can contribute. Communication happens At many rates, they cannot communicate. We still talk. Even silence is a message. I reach towards it with all the desperate longing of a drowning man towards the distant shore. I don't know how I can bear to wait, and yet at the same time, I know it would be no good to me now. There is no rest for me anywhere as long as I carry the torment within myself. Some clients are able to achieve reorganization with a minimum of suffering. With others, as in this case, the torment within becomes almost unbearable as deep inconsistencies in experience are explored. Yet it is a definite aspect of progress to recognize the conflict as being entirely within, and to know that no vacation, no rest, can be a rest from oneself. The Seventh and Eighth Interviews The seventh interview was held on Wednesday, and the eighth on Thursday morning. A portion of the seventh interview must be given from the therapist's notes in order to make some of the comments understandable. Deep confusion and uncertainty were evident in the interview, but the client felt she was coming to some final decision which seemed like life or death -- at least psychological life or death.

Moving through a narrow canyon at a fast pace implies a very small margin for error, maybe a hair's breath. Financial canyons include the sudden loss of a job or a major client, or having a major order or sale canceled. Talk of a recession while you are currently employed is another canyon. Are you trying to carry too much debt or holding on to too much of your old spending style as your options seem to narrow? Would lightening your financial load and pulling your arms and legs inside your vessel, perhaps slimming down your cultural and vacation expenses, enhance your movement forward? A financial canyon is also where you seem to need to make quick financial decisions with very limited information and a narrow view of the long-term implications of your actions. You wonder if there is more money coming up behind you or more waiting just around the corner. Can you count on any financial support, or is there some disaster waiting for you--something that appears without warning? Does anyone know where you are, and is help coming or not? And underneath all of this you wonder whether your vessel and your money will last until you come through this challenging tight experience. Every motion, every movement, every breath, and so on is communication. Our business card, website, hyperlinked profile all tell us something. The secret to building outstanding relationships with colleagues, customers, and people in our networks, in general, is professional communication. It's crucial that we continue to develop our communication skills and not rely on old communication patterns and methods. When was the last time you were updating your communication skills? Which professional development you have pursued in this vital area of expertise in a previous couple of years. Communication technology is rising and evolving all the while you've kept it up. We periodically update our mobile phones and other devices, and what about our communication technology. Hold confidences Professional partnerships rely on expressing our expectations, aspirations, goals, and concerns and discussing them.

She told how during the past year tensions and conflicts have steadily mounted, with many deep reactions on her own part. I have felt it inside as though it were a little animal coming out of a cave -- just a little defenseless animal, who has been beaten unmercifully, defeated, horribly lacerated and bleeding. He just seems completely and utterly helpless. I have felt as though this were sort of separate, so that I could stand off and look at it, but that it was also something inside of me. At times the poor animal would go back in, but there was always the chance that he would come out again. I feel as though I am that little animal, whipped and helpless and terribly wounded. Following the seventh interview which contained this material, and the eighth interview on Thursday morning, the following was written. Thursday A. Yesterday's interview was the same as the one before it, lifeless and futile. The only difference was that it was a bit more actively despairing because failure seemed still closer -- and it began, as well as ended, in despair. In a canyon, your thoughts come quickly and have a narrow focus, often a let's-get-through-this-in-one-piece focus. While moving quickly through a canyon with turbulent waters, you're rarely able to seriously consider the many options from your Rational Current. Your Creative Current quickly narrows to visions of impending disaster instead of opening up to some wonderful new approach to creating abundance. Taking even a five-minute time-out to calm your various currents may not seem to be possible in a canyon experience--yet it is necessary to shift your experience and navigate with some ease and grace. For example, rumors flow at your workplace and you suspect you'll be laid off, or the huge new client did not sign up with your company and you've already gone out and bought that new vehicle you've wanted. It's time to shift focus and pull yourself and your financial resources in a bit--or a lot. Time to let go of your previous living style--to spend less on the luxuries and even some apparent necessities, so you can create some flexibility with your spending options or some savings. The biggest challenge in a canyon is to be honest with yourself about all of your currents. Acknowledge to yourself and allow yourself to experience your own body sensations and emotions even as you participate with whatever is happening. In the West, our stories and mythology often require you to be brave and discount your internal experience to yourself.

Trust is a key to maintaining individual relationships, and being able to hold trust is a crucial element of trust. To resist the temptation to share with just one or two people, something that is entrusted to us in confidence-that won't hurt them. Knowing what others don't know can sometimes be a burning hole, and we just want to tell someone else. Sometimes that can be because we want to be seen or seen as necessary. We are looking for others to respect us. It's close to basing our satisfaction with what people are thinking of us. There we are looking for approval, although this is just an inside job. So don't be fooled by someone's short-term gain of a minute's appreciation because you know something they don't go for the long-term inner happiness that's gained from having somebody's precious faith they have entrusted to you. Remember-the Earth is a small planet. You ever had the experience of going on a holiday abroad and unexpectedly bumping into your Italian market neighbor next door and realizing that WOW, the universe is tiny? Wednesday was a repetition of Tuesday and Monday, except that the longing for the unattainable peace that my vacation represents grew more acute. Everything grew more acute -- more and more of the same thing. She tells how Wednesday evening she went to confession, which she felt gave her some relief. After this: But as I was walking down the street, it popped up a tentative head -- Who beat up on you? Who's responsible for the horrible condition of the little tortured animal? Could it be you? There was no use in -- and anyway I was too tired to pin that idea down firmly. It insisted upon being treated lightly and delicately. So I went quietly to bed -- not happy, but not in such distress of mind;