In the recovery process this partner learns to take more ownership of her sexual desires and needs, and the addict has the opportunity to share rather than to control the experience, creating intimacy. In the past, addiction overshadowed any healthy sexual experiences, and you were likely responding to the socialization of who you are and how you are supposed to act sexually. The addict did not have healthy sexual esteem in his active addiction, and it doesn't suddenly exist just because he has quit acting out. Now, in recovery, you both bring a vulnerability to this intimate experience. You are still experiencing the feelings of a relationship that has been seriously hurt. My husband acts scared of being sexual with me. I can feel his tentativeness, his anxiety, and then I get anxious and frustrated. Then we get in this pattern of not even trying to be sexual. Again, weight gain most likely will occur. Other diet plans suggest simply either counting calories or counting carbohydrates or both. There are many new computer and smartphone apps that will track your consumption of calories and carbohydrates each day. These high-tech applications attempt to overcome the drudgery and complexity of all that counting. People don't understand that keeping track of only calories or carbohydrates does not show you the nutritional quality of those calories. Simply reducing calories is not the answer. People also feel hungry all of the time when they limit calories. Recall, legumes and beans cause butyrate production, which triggers leptin and tells us we are full. Counting carbs and cutting calories make us feel hungry and unsatisfied. Ironically, counting is not necessary when one is consuming a whole-food diet of predominantly fresh vegetables, legumes (dried beans and lentils), fruits, and whole grains. For one of the shows, we even sent out a survey to college students about campus love life and we were able to have over 300 people respond! Sadly, after five episodes, my teammate lost interest in the project and I didn't want to do the show by myself, so it came to a complete halt.

I would later, after college, start another podcast about state politics. It's a topic that few people are educated on and I wanted to be a not-so-boring source of information. It's amazing how impactful state politics actually are to our livelihoods and, yet, less than 30% of our US population votes in these local elections. It's hard to even find in-depth information online about local politicians! So, I ventured on. I got the same college student to do photos for free. I put together intro music, wrote up outlines, got local politicians to actually come on the podcast. I was making headway! This is a critical time when unspoken thoughts and feelings sabotage the reconnection. Keep communicating. At any point in the recovery process where sex is being avoided, it is time to again consider an agreement for a therapeutic sexual time out. During this time you're working as a couple to identify and address the barriers and resistances to sexual intimacy. It is possible that one or both of you may experience a phenomenon of the addictive cycle called sexual anorexia. Sexual anorexia is a dread or self-hate of one's sexuality. Yet the term is used broadly and may also be defined as a fear of intimacy to the point where the person has severe anxiety surrounding sex. In my addiction I was nonsexual with my girlfriend but completely out of control with one-night affairs, prostitutes, phone sex, massage parlors, and the internet. I am in recovery today, meaning I don't do those things anymore but I still avoid my partner sexually. It is not about her. Bottom Line: Overeating, drinking sodas (sweetened or artificially sweetened), dehydration, eating predominantly packaged foods, and lack of exercise are major causes of most obesity in America today. Diets do not work, but lifestyle changes do.

Eating healthy, whole, fresh foods; It sounds difficult, but you can begin simply by making small changes--drink a glass of water in the morning, go for a walk, buy some fresh vegetables and fruits, and read the labels on any packaged foods you may want to buy. This is your life--choose health! Many people think it is too expensive to eat healthy whole foods, but it really isn't; Brown rice, lentils, quinoa, and dried beans are some of the least expensive foods available. They offer plenty of nutrients, fiber, vitamins, and minerals. Cooked dry beans are another excellent source of fiber and protein. Shopping for fresh local vegetables and fruits at farmer's markets and buying frozen vegetables and fruits at the grocery store are other effective ways to minimize your costs for healthy food options. All went well, until I missed a week, and then another week, and then got embarrassed about all the inconsistency and ended up quitting. Being the encouraging reader you are, you think to yourself, But, Harley, at least you went for it and gave it your best shot, right? I appreciate the sentiment, friend, but I must provide a knowledge bomb for you. If you really want to make something remarkable, you invest years and years into consistently working on the craft. My undergraduate ideas were fun to dream up and it was enjoyable to start these new things, but it's always enjoyable to start new things. What doomed me was that I didn't understand the necessary commitment behind any remarkable endeavor. Our consulting office actually has a podcast called the Thrive Time Show Business Podcast. It earns over 500,000 downloads per month. You know what's crazy about their show? They made it there after seven years of diligently recording episodes. Maybe her not pushing me to be sexual is about her, but I hate what I have done, that whole part of me, and when I try to be sexual with her I am impotent or I ejaculate prematurely. I am like a scared young boy.

Not exactly the vision of a sex addict, is it? Ever since I was a child I have felt that I am bad for feeling sexual and should be punished. Switching to polar opposite behaviors often reflects the extremes of living with addiction. As the addict may experience sexual anorexia, you may fluctuate in your behavior, being flagrantly sexual in an attempt to combat your severe dislike of your sexual self to blatantly avoiding sexual behaviors. This is similar to the binge-purge cycle of a bulimic where he or she overeats and then purges the food. It is also possible to simply move to one side of the continuum and stay there in a more purely anorexic, deprived state. Regardless of the pattern, binge or purge, recovery involves learning and valuing healthy sexuality and addressing the loss and trauma issues that underlie this severe reaction to one's sexuality. As much as I hated knowing he was sexual with others, in some ways I was relieved to not be sexual. Remember to always read the labels on packaged foods to ensure there have been no added sweeteners or other unhealthy ingredients. Be sure the only ingredient is the actual fruit or vegetable. YOUR PRESCRIPTION The right food choices can make a big difference in your health. Try to get five to seven servings of fruits and vegetables per day. Eat more vegetables than fruit. Eat lots of colorful vegetables every day. Learn to eat beans and lentils every day. Don't be afraid of carbs. Eat whole grains. They recorded episodes every day for seven years and, finally, they reached half a million listeners per month. For a mind-blowing experience, go onto Youtube and search Joe Rogan's first podcast episode.

It looks horrible. They spent the first 10 minutes or more just trying to make the video connection work. Here comes the capstone idea to this article. I didn't understand that we MUST adequately plan out our time on a consistent basis. We must always be specific and intentional with how our time is spent. People are so ready to say that the day is unpredictable, or it's always up in the air. Again, we grant grace for everyone's failed intentions because everyone collectively misses the mark on their goals. Well at least you tried! I had never liked that part of me. For years I wouldn't confront him about what I knew he was doing because then he wouldn't ask much from me. To help you understand the framework, the following are indicators of healthy sexuality: Undoubtedly, the key to healthy sexuality for you and the addict begins with emotional healing. When there is so much anger, shame, and pain, you need to be realistic and patient in your expectations. Conversations about what is satisfying and emotionally safe for both partners need to occur and keep occurring throughout your coupleship. As you build your adult-to-adult relationship around spiritually and emotionally healthy guidelines, the physical aspect of your relationship can become a more enriching experience. Facing Relapse What if he acts out again? Reengaging in the behavior after some recovery practice is referred to as relapse. You will feel great, and weight loss will be a side effect. NUTS, SEEDS, AND AVOCADO