Just as there is a distinction between the social drinker and the alcoholic, there is a distinction between the person who has one affair and the person who repeatedly has affairs even when a job or marriage may be in jeopardy. Not everyone who has affairs, participates in unsafe sex, or keeps sexual secrets is a sex addict. Not everyone who views pornography, engages in anonymous sex, visits prostitutes, or performs acts of bondage/dominance or sadomasochism is a sex addict. The type of sexual activity one prefers, the choice of sexual partners, or where one goes to have sex does not determine sex addiction. When a person deviates from the established sexual norms it does not make him a bad person, nor does it mean he is addicted. The elements that define sexual addiction are the compulsive nature of the experience, the repetition of the behavior despite its negative consequences, the need for more and more to achieve the same effect, and the bad feelings that it engenders. The escalation in the amount of sexual activity or intensity of the experience occurs because the current level no longer provides the fix it once did. An addict has a persistent pursuit of self- destructive or high-risk sexual behavior, wherein cherished aspects of one's life are potentially sacrificed. Say that one day you think that those Pop-Tarts you've been stuffing in the toaster before you dash out the door each morning are probably not the healthiest choice. You decide to run a quick and easy self-experiment to find out if this instinct is correct. On Monday, you use a cheap blood glucose monitor, which you can buy at any drugstore or supermarket, right when you get up. Then you eat your Pop-Tarts (strawberry, naturally), wait a few minutes, and check your glucose level again. It has spiked way up. You record the before and after levels in a food log app and add how you felt before and after breakfast. You do the same an hour later, once you've arrived at work. At that point your glucose level has dropped significantly, with your energy levels plummeting right along with it. The following morning, you try eating a cheese and vegetable omelet instead and repeat the process of writing down your blood glucose levels and how you feel before and after breakfast and an hour later. You find that your blood sugar has remained relatively stable and that, assuming you didn't get stuck in rush-hour traffic on the way to work, your mood has, too. These business owners, especially long-term, small business owners, have been screwed before. Some other marketing company called them in the past.

They decided to work with them and they signed a six-month contract. After the first month, they realized it was a waste of money and now, they are stuck with them for another five months. Then, they decided to reach out to a marketing firm in their local city. You can trust someone in your neighborhood, right? They gave them a chance, but that didn't work either. Then, they turn to a family member who knows some things about websites and marketing and social media. Nothing gets done there either. So, now our consulting company calls them saying that we can help. At times I would tell myself this is it, no more. But that never lasted for long. I would again find myself acting out. I didn't see it as acting out. I was just still doing what I had been doing, be it an affair, pornography, or a massage parlor. I would totally forget that I had a moment of thinking I shouldn't be doing this. The truth is, most of the time I just didn't see it as something I needed to stop. I was so caught up in just me or my next conquest. It was like I felt I was entitled to this life. If I were to think about it, I just totally separated it from my relationship with my wife. So now you have a direct connection between your physiology and how you feel, which makes it easier to understand that eating an omelet instead of Pop-Tarts is not just better for you (whatever that means) but also makes you feel better. This emotional anchor point is more likely to encourage a change in behavior than a nutritionist's advice or a food log alone, and you used technology as a way to connect the dots between what you put into your mouth, its effect on your body, and the impact on your mood.

So now that you have a strong cause-effect relationship and realize that changing your breakfast makes you feel better, you're more likely to kick your Pop-Tarts habit in favor of healthier choices. Fifty years ago, scientific studies usually involved just six to ten people, and the pool was composed of the researchers, their grad students, and their colleagues. Scientists recorded and published the individual data for everybody involved in the study. Then statistics started to become a bigger deal and the methodology changed. Suddenly, the individual responses were relegated to the background while averages came to the fore. This helped to conceal poor data and findings that appeared contradictory or inconclusive. Looking solely at averages has obscured the reality that even things that have been rigorously tested in hundreds of experiments and have largely been shown to benefit most of the population don't work for everyone. Two cases in point are caffeine and creatine. Why should they expect us to be any different? We must show testimonials. Where do we go first for proof? We start by letting them know that our founder, Tim Redmond, grew his own company from scratch to $40 million per year in annual sales. Not only that, but he grew and managed a staff of over 350 employees. Growing a wildly successful company should be good enough right? Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who talk a big game about their past accomplishments, but haven't done anything in the last several years. Where's the current proof? We also ask them to Google us and find our 350+ 5-star reviews from other business owners, friends and family members who love our work and our team. Not only that, but we ask them to watch an endless amount of testimonial videos from actual clients who have seen the fruits of our labor. Today I know that is hard to grasp, but that is what I was thinking during the behavior. My behavior had nothing to do with my marriage, nothing to do with my wife.

It was about me. I would have been doing this no matter who I was married to. While an accepted definition of addiction is a pathological relationship with a mood-altering chemical, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) offers a more clinical definition: Addiction is a complex condition, a brain disease that is manifested by compulsive substance use despite harmful consequence. People with addiction (severe substance use disorder) have an intense focus on using a certain substance(s), such as alcohol or drugs, to the point that it takes over their life. The addict's relationship with the substance of choice becomes more important to him or her than family, friends, health, or work, and it progresses to the point where consumption and/or use are necessary to feel normal. In order to feel adequate, the addict comes to depend on a change in neurochemistry and the accompanying mood-altering experience; The vow to stop the behaviors gets lost against the power of the addiction. All of that is equally true for the sex addict. Many believe that there's a consensus on the efficacy of these substances in improving performance. Few understand that a full 30 percent of people don't respond to what's considered an average amount of caffeine or the recommended creatine dose. You could well be one of them! If so, you'd need to play around with your intake to see how much you'd need to take to elicit a response--there are no tech-driven guidelines for you personally if you're in that group. The advent of online research publications and aggregate sites promises to swing the pendulum back in the other direction. Now there are no longer the space constraints of a physical journal, which often limited scientists to using one graph of averages. Online, there's infinite room, so researchers can include as many graphical elements as they like. This heralds the welcome return of publishing each participant's individual data and responses to the control variable. In the coming years we're going to see many retractions of landmark studies that have formed the basis for entire fields and decades' worth of recommendations. It's also inevitable that much of the research that supposedly demonstrates the effectiveness of fitness technology will be revealed to be exaggerated and grossly misleading. In that first consultation with us, the business owner sees our proven systems, our specific steps, our real facts, case studies, and testimonials. So, we have some tangible validation here.

Many of these small business owners are not making a ton of money and can't afford to spend thousands of dollars a month for a consulting and marketing team. To address this issue, we require no contracts. It's a month-to-month program, where you can drop us like a bad habit. You also own all your marketing and website materials. We don't hold any of it hostage. On top of that, you get to name your price for the first month and it's a money-back guarantee. But, we're just a company that's calling you on the phone. Want to see the evidence in person? THE BEHAVIORS As a drug addict may use pain medications, heroin, and marijuana, sexually compulsive people often engage in a combination of behaviors. The behaviors can range from pornography, to one-night affairs and long-term relationships. He may engage with prostitutes (escorts), massage parlor workers, or in chat rooms on the internet. Some sex addicts are drawn to voyeurism, exhibitionism, or connecting sexually with someone of the same gender when one is not gay. People who are acting out sexually find the internet exacerbates their problem. Even if someone has not previously been acting out, internet access to pornography and cybersex often incites escalating and provocative behavior. It also contributes to acting out in real life. Online sexual behavior has been described as the crack cocaine of sex addiction because of its accessibility and affordability. Just pushing a button gives a person access to his secret world. As we wait for this revolution to gather pace, we should reexamine what our technology is telling us and not take the science behind it at face value. We'd be better off fine-tuning our self-awareness and making adjustments based on what we're experiencing.