Date Tags support

It's like when you're out fishing and the big one first hits the line. Sure, there's still a ton of work to do reeling it in, but you know you've got 'im hooked. I've said something you don't like? I'm really sorry, I didn't mean it in quite the way it came out. I've done something you don't approve of? I'm ever so sorry, I won't do that again. I need the bathroom. Sorry to be a pain and to make you drive out of your way to find a bathroom for me. Sorry, I just need to . It all came to a head in my early twenties, and sorry became a more sinister sorry I exist. It seems that bending over backward and tying yourself in knots to keep others happy, and taking responsibility for things and people that are absolutely not your responsibility is a highway to hell--saying yes when you actually mean no breeds anger and resentment. The floodgates to that anger would snap open when I'd go out drinking with my friends. You could write out the contents of your lunchbox for that day in excruciating detail if that's what you found most memorable. Dramas, trials, and tribulations are compelling to write about, but you don't need to force them. Be absurd when you need to. Don't be afraid to journal even while angry, upset, nervous, emotional or half-asleep, and don't be afraid to leave your internal filter off as you do so. Reading your thoughts later can offer you valuable insights into how you think at different moments, providing you valuable insights and self-awareness. Play the long game. Consistent, long-term journaling will incline you toward effortlessly identifying your wants and needs, as well as naturally reaffirming your identity. Process your day.

If there's a nagging thought bugging you, write everything you want about it in your journal; Once written down, you can easily ask yourself Is that belief true? As Maddox and I continued our stroll along the water, my first task was to get him to think about a new financial future for himself and his family. Remember the key question from earlier: What is the future you want? That leads to a closely related second question: What is the future you want to avoid? Maddox talked first and foremost about his fear of poverty, which is common enough but in his case was rooted in a destitute childhood, something I hadn't known about him. Like eating government cheese poor, as he put it. As a result of his upbringing, Maddox was crystal clear on the future he didn't want. Creating a story around what he did want was proving more elusive. When you think about the future of your finances, what do you see? I asked him. Fog, he answered. Add social anxiety to the mix and I'd smash all personality-based boundaries loose by drinking far too much so that I felt more comfortable being out and about, but in doing so, I became an angry, belligerent, and hurtful drunk with hangovers that would make me cringe as I remembered the things I may have said or done. Talk about adding fuel to that well-established, inward-looking, and apologetic nature of mine. I started to loathe myself, and on top of the over-apologizing, regrets were growing on top of my regrets. Not to mention that I was also working a job I didn't enjoy--another example of my lack of boundaries. Most of us are pressed to make decisions on what we would like to do with our lives early on in school, and I didn't have a clue what that might look like. When I was little, I'd wanted to be a vet until I realized that being a vet involved operations and things, that it wasn't just cuddling with cute animals. After that, it seemed as though being a teacher might be all right, but that meant college, and I had a boyfriend at that crucial applying to college time who was opposed to me going off to a different city. Being so malleable meant that my teaching plans were knocked on the head, and past that, I truly didn't have a clue what I'd like to do or be.

In that pre-internet age, I didn't realize the extent of what was possible, either--our career advice was based on going to college for learning's sake or joining the armed forces. In true wonky-boundary style, I ended up leaving the somewhat life-altering decision to my tutor. Journaling can also be used as an expressive extension of your risk-assessment process, balancing out the logical side through confronting your more primal fears in a healthy manner. Take advantage of the solitude. Journaling benefits us in a way that no other form of writing does, and that is because it lays thoughts bare purely between you and yourself. It is pure processing in the form that is best for you, without fear of being misunderstood and without the expectation or requirement of validation. It's deep-level me-time designed to facilitate the points above this one. Doodling is a natural companion to journaling. Although its benefits are not as potent as journaling, they are much easier to practice; As the process of doodling is what gives you the benefit, not the product, you can even doodle through sand or sugar drawings on any surface you wish, and sweep it back into its proper container when you're done. According to a Harvard medical blog, the primary benefit of doodling lies is that it helps the doodler recall details in what they observe around them (Pillay, 2016). It is no coincidence that US presidents made habits of doodling, including beloved figures such as JFK and Theodore Roosevelt. It's all fog. I wasn't going to let him off the hook that easily. As I explained in the previous article, it's so important to be highly specific when imagining the future you want. The more detailed a picture you're able to create, the more effective your futurecasting will be. If we'd been in his home or office, I would have locked Maddox away for an hour with a pen and pad and forced him to write down his future. Instead, I sat him down on a park bench and forced him to think hard about his future, for the first time in his life. And `not poor' is not going to cut it, I said. Maddox closed his eyes.

Despite the bustle of tourists and business people streaming past, I could see he was seriously contemplating his future. I allowed my own thoughts to wander as well as I looked out over the shimmering waters of Boston Harbor. I mean, I stayed true to my patterns of behavior, and then some. I asked him what I should do, and he replied that as I was accomplished at mathematics, I might want to try accounting. And so I did. Alas, it wasn't for me (you knew that was coming, didn't you? Worse still, I didn't know what was for me. I left that accounting job and went off to college, but even then, my lack of boundaries got in the way; I would go out most nights even when I didn't want to because it was what everyone was doing, and I would overdrink and overspend. I was just going with the flow of everyone around me. Missing structure, not being very interested in my courses, and feeling unanchored, I started to feel my mental health decline. I went home one Easter and only returned to school to collect my things. In a case of practicing what they preach, many Harvard med students doodle for 30 minutes at a time in order to help their brains relax and absorb the volumes of information they've just read through. You can doodle anything you want, as long as it has a good feeling and an easy, tireless flow for you. In psychology, doodling is vital for letting us fill in the gaps that our words leave open, letting us make effortless and intuitive connections between facts or memories that we hadn't considered before. It's much like those spontaneous ah-ha moments you might have in the shower or bath, only it's much more potent and doesn't rack up your utility bills. Doodling, then, is not just a pastime for children. It is a near-necessity for functional adults. With journaling, doodling and more helping you keep your head clear, focused, and aware, perhaps it's time to explore what you really want out of life. Why It Is Important to Know

Earlier, we briefly touched on how long-term journaling can strengthen your will and presence of mind. This is because it helps to tie all our different aspects and idiosyncrasies together. This stretch of water has always fascinated me, with its maritime past and fast ferries to nearby Cape Cod. A seagull honked overhead, eyeballing me to see if I was holding food. Maddox opened his eyes and exhaled. Okay, I got it, he said. It comes down to two things. First, a house. I see us settled in a house that's a place for the kids to come back to from college and beyond. Number two: I want to make sure that Doug and I are set up for retirement, with something for the kids as well. Real estate and retirement: they're two of the biggest planks in most people's financial portfolio, and they're also what gives us the biggest fits when it comes to the future. And why shouldn't they? Reflecting on all of this (and more), compassionately, is hard. There is no rewind button or flux capacitor, and I feel sad that I continued to give away my power every which way. While there was a smile on my face, a willingness to please, and a mask that hid any unease I felt, I grew more and more disjointed and disenchanted with life. I felt as though I was swaying this way, that way, forward and backward, and still I couldn't do enough or be enough. I didn't know who I was or what I wanted but kept getting swept away by other people's wants and dreams and passions. It all got a bit strange and stressful. It wasn't long until depression reared its ugly head and knocked me down completely. Landing at rock bottom with a resounding thud was torturous, and I felt a deep sense of shame.