But I'm also doing so much less running-wise than I ever have--like, 12 miles a week compared to 12 miles a day. The Surprising Importance of David Puddy If your car is running hot or making a weird noise, you won't take it just anywhere but to a mechanic whom you know and trust to give you a fair price--like David Puddy in Seinfeld. Even though modern mechanics use sophisticated diagnostic systems to evaluate your computer-controlled vehicle, the machines alone aren't enough, or else we'd have repair shops with no actual humans in them. Instead, the mechanic must know which tests to run on what parts of your car, and then how to interpret the results. Once they know the problem, they have to look up the required part and order it, and then they need to have the know-how to install it just so. Indeed, Frank Merritt insists on going to a mechanic who rides in the car with him when his car has an issue, so he can point out the weird rattling noise that a computer program would fail to pick up. This is similar to how an effective coach uses technology to evaluate your capabilities and problems and find solutions to them. By the end of the session, Joseph decided he had joined one of the most unusual and intense executive teams he had ever seen, and he couldn't wait to become an active part of it. How Trust Built 11 Championship Teams This kind of teamwork illustrated in The Five Dysfunctions of a Team is put plainly by Phil Jackson as The Circle of Love. It's the uniting alchemy which binds players and coaches together to project them towards a championship title ring. As a coach and player for eleven NBA championship teams for the New York Knicks, Chicago Bulls and Los Angeles Lakers, Phil Jackson describes eleven maxims of leadership in his #1 New York Times best-selling article, Eleven Rings. The first two maxims discuss management styles that contradict the norm, but massively reinforce trust in a group. His first recommendation is to lead from inside-out. He felt it was more important to figure out how to position your team most effectively together, before trying to preach from what the other competitors are doing. Each team is their own ecosystem and, while there are proven strategies, the team still needs to morph itself into a cohesive group. It's a repeated narrative throughout his article that players need the freedom to position themselves to thrive on the team. Or is it the only time in which you experience feelings? After you have engaged in this process or behavior for some time, does it now leave you with a sense of emptiness?

Do you find yourself reengaging more quickly than you have in the past--leading to another E, which is escalation. If you identify with any of the four letters I encourage you to share what is happening for you with a trusted person, but if you identify with all four letters associated with SAFE, I strongly encourage you to see a professional. MOOD AND ANXIETY DISORDERS Both depression and various forms of anxiety are common for partners. While people who struggle with these issues often have a biological predisposition, repeated psychological injury and chronic stress is a major contributor to both. The accumulation of loss that occurs when you are in a relationship with an addict also fuels a level of grief where depression becomes a consequence to unattended sorrow. And certainly living in a constant state of biological alert and hypo-arousal will create anxiety. Both depression and anxiety are most often trauma responses. And just as you can't put a Ford Fiesta carburetor in a Ferrari--the parts, tires, and tune-ups need to be specific to the brand and vehicle--the same goes in coaching. Technology might well be used to run a diagnostic check, but it's years of expertise, the coach's knowledge of your body and lifestyle, and his or her ability to interpret your data that's going to make all the difference. Though you might initially worry that you can't afford a coach, it's the best way to achieve lasting improvements. In the long run, it will actually save you money by reducing or eliminating injury-related bills from physical therapists, chiropractors, and orthopedists, not to mention allowing you to avoid endless experimentation with every new gadget that hits the market. Until they become conscious they will never rebel, and until after they have rebelled they cannot become conscious. Now that we've looked at many of the limitations of technology, why it shouldn't replace your coach, and how your usage habits drive your behavior, it's time to move further into how best to progress beyond device dependence. In this article, we'll examine what it looks like to become more aware, more intentional, and more connected to the world around you, and what kind of disconnection from your gadgets this is going to require. Becoming Aware: Natural Intelligence One of the most profound quotes I've come across in the past couple of years comes from the Indian mystic Lalla. She wrote, The only offering you can make to God is your increasing awareness. They will always wait on you to save the day. In Jackson's famous Triangle system, the coach shares, you can't stand around and wait for the Michael Jordans and Kobe Bryants of the world to work their magic.

All five players must be fully engaged every second--or the whole system will fail. If you haven't positioned yourself well into a helpful role for the team, you won't do well in this Triangle system. Phil Jackson knew that teams don't win championships if the team is just looking for the all-star to come in and save the game. This is exactly what one of Phil Jackson's mentors, Red Holzman (championship coach for the 1970 & 1973 New York Knicks), detailed during his time coaching. Red discusses: On a good team there are no superstars. There are great players who show they are great players by being able to play with others as a team. They have the ability to be superstars, but if they fit into a good team, they make sacrifices, they do things necessary to help the team win. Upon a thorough assessment by a healthcare professional, it may be helpful to include medication as another tool to help you in your recovery process. Do be aware that the use of any mood-altering substance may aggravate and mask symptoms of anxiety or depressive disorders. In a healing journey you will learn how to stand tall in the face of truth. Standing tall means finding the voice to speak your truth, knowing and honoring your needs and feelings, and having boundaries that offer both containment and protection. This takes work on your part, but as you are reading this article, it is possible, particularly with the support of other women who have made this journey before you. You lose sight of your true self when you act out in emotional pain. The good news is that there is a path out of the pain; Reflective Thoughts and Questions If so, describe how you've been presenting yourself and what it's been covering up. If so, describe your perfectionistic thoughts and behaviors, and then identify what you think fuels this behavior. Now, not to get too spiritual on you, but I think that no matter what your religious background--or even if you don't have one--you can agree that by increasing your level of consciousness, you can participate more fully and richly in the world around you. As we've covered elsewhere in this article, technology can be a valid aid that helps us become more aware of our bodies and minds.

But once we've used it for this purpose and we can tie feelings, mood, emotion, and energy levels to certain states and events that occur within our activity of choice, it's time to let our gizmos collect dust on the shelf until we need them again to fine-tune our instincts. If you're continually plugged into a device, it's impossible to use anywhere close to your full natural intelligence. Once you get to the point that you must have your wearable with you (and if you don't, you feel naked and vulnerable, as did 45 percent of survey respondents when they took off their wearable), you're paying more attention to it than to yourself, other people, or your environment. If this sounds like you, you're overdue for a wearables fast and need to quit cold turkey until you relearn how to feel. Hunger and Thirst? There's an App for That Two of the most elemental instincts we have are hunger and thirst. Knowing when we need to eat and drink has helped keep us going as a species. The main lesson? Don't lead as a dictator. Allow people to step up, buy-in to the plan and trust in themselves and each other. Sure, you still must lead the charge because you are the leader, but if you don't trust people to step up in responsibility, then you'll never have a winning team. Phil's second maxim on leadership emphasizes the importance of benching the personal ego. You're hired to be the leader of your team's success. Oftentimes, as Jackson saw in his 33 years of coaching, this gave liberty for other coaches in the NBA to be the almighty dictator of the team. Or, because teams had star players and wild personalities, the coach was simply a people pleaser for his players. Phil took a third approach. He vouched for delegation and ownership of each person's role on the team. Have you felt or acted out in fury or rage? Is your anger a sideways anger?

How have you expressed it? Identify and explain your thoughts and concerns. Are you willing to seek help to assess this? Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd. His Behavior Is Not About You Why is he doing this? Why won't he just stop? First and foremost, you need to know that his behavior is not about you. But now some techies have apparently decided that such hardwired survival instincts are inadequate. So they've come up with gadgets that will tell us when we need to eat or drink. Now, the debate on whether you should drink to thirst is ongoing, and we know from recent research on ketones (molecules produced during fat metabolization that the body uses for fuel) by Dominic D'Agostino and others that our bodies can run on very little fuel for days. Most physiology textarticles agree that if we have enough fat in our body, we can, theoretically, exercise for thirty days straight without eating. In one extreme case, someone successfully completed a 382-day fast (albeit with limited food intake, not complete food deprivation). Instead, we need to be more mindful of our hydration and nutrition and how these affect our performance and health. Fasting periodically is one way to dial in this area of your life. Another is to try different amounts and types of food and beverages at various times of day and before, during, and after activity and see what effect these have on your energy levels, output, and recovery. Also, pay attention to how your productivity and emotions are affected by dietary changes and fluid levels. Then go with what you know works best, not what an app tells you to eat or drink. Jackson writes: The most effective approach is to delegate authority as much as possible and to nurture everyone else's leadership skills as well.