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That is something you have charge of. Do any of the following describe the major problem in your life? It is an uncomfortable thing when you feel like you are being singled out. You will look at other people not currently being treated this way by this person and think it must be something that has only happened to you. However, this is a false assumption. If someone is rude to you, it is not only you that they have done this to. Everyone struggles with conflict sometimes. We might avoid it or get into it too much, and the latter is just as unhealthy as the former. Having conflicts with others is a part of being human. In fact, a certain amount of it can be productive. When we have disagreements, it gives everyone a chance to tell their side of the story. It is how differences in opinions are smoothed out, and compromises are made. It is an interesting experiment. And it may not be realistic to chew every bite for that long in our world of fast-paced nonstop action and demand, but if we can shift even slightly in that direction, we can experience a corresponding shift of energy within. And as within so without. If we can learn to savor our meals, we may learn to savor our experiences and the people we encounter and our feelings and our lives. In this way, our food may, in fact, be a gateway to enlightenment. Awareness Exercise: Eating Mindfully Meditation By eating slowly and consciously and by bringing your full awareness to the act of chewing, and the sensation of tasting, you will come to experience food in a complete and satisfying way. You will need a place to sit and a table, a healthy snack of your choosing, and a few moments of quiet, uninterrupted time.

Carefully prepare your snack on a small plate and make it look appealing. Set a place for yourself at a table, clear of clutter, and sit down with your prepared plate. Occupational therapists taught me better ways to tie my shoes. Speech therapists taught me how to breathe and enunciate so I could be understood. Physical therapists helped me learn how to prevent my legs from collapsing beneath me. Since then, experiencing the valuable help such therapists can provide has led me to adopt a philosophy toward life in which I expect nothing, and accept everything. And so I set out to prove my doctor wrong. I was going to find the holy grail, and I hoped it was possibly right in my lap. I refused to write myself into a script with only one story line: that everyone with MS gets worse. In my mind the process of healing is far more nuanced than a series of statistics and probabilities. Rather than starting to take the drug my neurologist recommended, I first decided to follow my father's example. A member of the US Army 10th Mountain Division--an elite unit trained to fight under extreme arctic conditions--my father learned during World War II that the answer to any physical or emotional ailment was discipline and exercise. Alchemy was based upon a belief in the fundamental unity of all processes in nature. All of nature--stone, metals, wood, and minerals along with the human mind and body--was formed out of a single substance. This essence, the lapis, was the basis out of which everything grew, and if one could gain some of it, even a minute drop, then considerable healing and transformation could be accomplished. Alchemists asked the same questions that philosophers throughout time asked when confronted with the riddle of embodied life. Why do we suffer illness, loss, and death? Is there an afterlife? Do human beings have souls? What does nature consist of?

Are human beings up to something in the cosmos? What is the meaning of a human life? In my sports-novice brain that meant foul him like crazy. The poor guy fought through my wildly flailing arms, elbows, and outstretched feet during the entire game just to try to make a basket. Needless to say, Jason and I won! And that cute, tall boy was madder than a hornet whose nest had been torn down. I could almost see the steam escaping his ears! As my family left that day, I was sure this guy was a lost cause. He must hate me after that basketball fiasco. What I didn't know was that our parents had been talking. My parents started inviting their family to every teen-related homeschool function around. The cute, tall boy's name was Jonathan White and, after I met him, my future would never be the same. That's not the same kind of importance the narcissist is giving himself. Narcissists want to be more important than anyone else. I'm suggesting that you appreciate your value and expect others around you to also respect and appreciate your value. Knowing yourself and valuing who you are sets a standard that is communicated in your attitude, body language, and reactions to others. You're well aware that just a look from the narcissist lets you know what he expects to put up with. That's the same for you as well. What you believe about yourself and how you expect to be treated is also sent out to others in your facial expressions and body language. Your expectations and self-esteem are instantly transmitted to others by the ways you interact.

When you value yourself, others get the message. You Have the Right to Make New Choices I think of quotes as mini-instruction manuals for the soul. It's my appreciation of their very usefulness that compelled me to put together this article. Not because I believe in my own sagacity, but because I believe in the power of words to help us reset our intentions, clarify our thoughts, and create a counternarrative to the voice of doubt many of us have murmuring in our heads--the one that says You can't, you won't, you shouldn't have. Quotes, at their core, almost always shout Yes! This aims to be a article of yes. When I made the selections included here--culled from the articles and essays I've written and interviews and talks I've given--I remembered that when I first wrote or said them they were not wisdoms I wished to bestow upon others. In fact, I never imagined they'd be interpreted as wisdoms at all. Most of the quotes included here feel to me more like conversations I was having with myself that turned out to be conversations other people were apparently having with themselves, too. For every quote in this article imploring you to accept and forgive and be brave (enough), to be kind and grateful and honest, to be generous and bold, I'm imploring myself to do the same. In other words, I'm not trying to be the boss of you. The problem of my life is that I don't get paid enough. The problem of my life is I don't like my job. The problem of my life is my boss is too hard on me. The problem of my life is I live in a very cold climate and the weather stinks. The problem of my life is my car; The problem of my life is my relationship with my wife; The problem of my life is my kids, who never listen. The problem of my life is I'm out of shape and don't have the time to get back in shape.

The problem of my life is I don't have any money. The problem of my life is I don't accept responsibility and I don't hold myself accountable. However, there is a healthy and unhealthy way to go about it. Conflict becomes unhealthy when the participants stop prioritizing coming to a solution and start attacking one another's character. Remember why you are having this conversation with this person. It is not because you dislike them and wish to hurt them. It is because you want to preserve the relationship and therefore reach an agreement. This is when conflict brings a relationship closer when both people see the perspectives of one another and act in a way that meets the needs of both people. This does not mean everyone will get everything they want all the time. It means both people are being considered in the solution instead of one person completely conceding. One of the things you should not say when you are having a conflict with someone is something to the effect of you always or you never. This particularly happens when people are having conflicts with their significant others. Take a moment to appreciate what you are about to eat. Observe the color, the texture, the scent, and the presentation. Slowly, and consciously, take a small bite. Close your eyes and tune all of your attention to chewing and tasting and observing. Chew at least twenty-five times before you swallow. Take a second bite and keep your eyes open. Look around the room as you are chewing and focus on whatever captures your attention. Eat as you usually do, without all the ceremony of bite number one.