Date Tags advice

Gaslighting The tactic used by manipulators aimed at making their victim doubt their own thoughts and feelings is called Gaslighting. This term is often used by mental health professionals to describe the manipulative behavior to convince the victim into thinking their thoughts and feelings are off base and not in alignment with the situation at hand. Was the old man hurt? Had he forgotten it? Had it been stolen from him and left there? Was Ted certain it was Jones's suitcase? Did you take it inside? No, Ted answered hesitantly. None of the businesses are open here yet, so there aren't many cars. I just didn't want to move it. Maybe not, I answered. I'll be right there. They found that winners lied in subsequent activities and did so significantly more and at significantly higher rates than those who had lost. They actually cheated their opponents out of extra money! But the unethical behaviour only occurred in competitive situations. It wasn't actually about winning something, but it was about beating someone. The unethical behaviour didn't occur when winning was down to chance (such as when they won' a lottery they were unaware was rigged). <a href=''>In</a> fact, in those situations participants were generous and collaborative with others involved in the activity. <a href=''>Nor</a> did it occur after they were successful in an activity that was non-competitive. <br /><br /><a href=''>Setting</a> goals and achieving them (without needing to be a victor over aloser') was associated with ethical, honest, egalitarian behaviour. It was only after competition that the winners were dishonest or unethical. This theme becomes even darker in a 2016 UK study that found that high-achieving adolescents in sport are being pushed to cheat by parents who demand perfection. Passive-Aggressive behavior Manipulators can adopt this duplicitous behavior to criticize, change or intervene the behavior of their victim without making direct requests or aggressive gestures. Some of these traits include: sulking or giving the silent treatment, portraying themselves as a victim or intentionally cryptic speech. Withholding information There is no such thing as a white lie but manipulators often provide selective information to their victim, so as to guide them into their web of deception. Dark manipulator is always aiming to gain control and authority on their victim. In order to succeed they will create an increasingly isolated environment for their victim and prevent them from contacting their friends and family. The many differences between Persuasion and Manipulation Motive/Intent As we have established people with active dark psychological traits including manipulators, aim to establish control and authority on their prey and exploit their victims to serve their own interests. Quickly, I told Polly what I knew as I slipped into a T-shirt and one of my Tommy Bahama swimsuits that pass for shorts in our beach town. I brushed my teeth, kissed Polly and the boys, and was in the car within five minutes. I made the short drive up the beach in another seven or eight minutes and pulled into the parking lot to see a small crowd gathered around the suitcase. Ted was right. There were very few cars. It was mostly the people who had come to work early. I drove right up to the group and got out.

Ted stood by the suitcase. Susan and Clay were there from the Winn-Dixie across the parking lot. Jenny and Abraham were standing with Al from the coffee shop. A Belgian up-and-coming cycling superstar was driven to be exceptional. Her parents were deeply involved in her sporting achievements. Femke van den Driessche's brother was already serving a ban for doping when Femke was caught during an international competition with a bicycle that had a hidden motor inside it! She was kicked out of her sport for a minimum six years, though some might argue there is no coming back from such an incident. If competition - and specifically the act of winning - elevates the likelihood of cheating and builds entitlement, what does this mean for resilience? Obviously those who cheated at such high levels suffered. But the same goes at the individual level, even down to our kids. Competition with others is all about social comparison and a feeling that `I'm better than them. So now they become fearful of situations where they may lose. This is not good for resilience, motivation, development or wellbeing. On the other hand, persuaders are concerned about the well being of their audience and attempt to convince them to change their attitude or behavior in a free environment. Method of Delivery Manipulators create an inviting environment for their victim, who is often an unwilling prey and primed emotionally and psychologically to act in ways that benefit their predators and threatens their own health or well-being. Whereas, persuaders only hope that their audience will respond to their influence and the suggestions. Ultimately the individual is free to decide whether or not they want to accept the suggestions made by their persuader and alter their thoughts, feelings and/or behaviors. Impact on the social interaction Dark manipulators will always aim to isolate their prey from the rest of the world and prevent any contact from their loved ones.

The victim of dark manipulation like brainwashing, develop extreme views and may commit heinous acts of antisocial behavior. Unlike manipulation, acts of persuasion are never lethal for the audience and the society. It could be as harmless as your brother's admiration for Nike shoes leading you to buy a pair of your own or the ads from McDonalds inviting you to enjoy a quick meal with your family. They all stared at me as I approached, no one talking; I stopped at Ted and looked at him for a moment -- expecting him to do what, I wasn't sure -- but he seemed to be in a daze. I knelt down beside the suitcase. Has anyone touched it? No, no, they all answered. No one had. I understood. I didn't want to touch it either. Strange, really . We had all seen the suitcase many times. To avoid challenges because you might lose, or to go into challenges knowing cheating is a viable way to win, are not hallmarks of a resilient (or moral) human. Competition when the stakes are high If it can happen in an innocuous experiment, imagine what happens when the stakes are high. We glorify and glamorise those who win in competition, but one does not need to dig very deep to find horribly unethical behaviour in all of its varieties in all competitive spheres. In the sports arena there are the well-known doping stories in everything from cycling to tennis, football in all its varieties, running, swimming and athletics. The business world, too, is ultra-competitive. When Turing Pharmaceuticals increased the US retail price for a life-saving drug from $13.

And there may be other explanations - at least in part - for the willingness to cheat. But ultimately, the behaviour of individuals and organisations is consistent with what research suggests: winning, and the desire to win, can lead to unethical, dishonest behaviour. This is not to say that every winner is an unethical, amoral, entitled, unempathic rapscallion, but that competition increases the likelihood of this kind of behaviour. Final outcome Persuasion usually result in one of these three possible scenarios: Benefit to both the persuaded and the persuader, commonly known as a win-win situation; Benefit only to the persuaded; Benefit to the persuaded and a third party. However, dark manipulation always has a singular benefactor that is the manipulator. The manipulated individual is at grave disadvantage and will act against their own self interest. The systematic use of misleading influence tactics ultimately becomes a psychologically and financially self-damaging process. To drive this difference home, let's consider this example. Brian is on a budget and walks in the store looking to buy a new Smart TV. He is greeted by Adam, who then proceeds to show him all the Smart TVs available in the store. We had engaged in conversations about it. We had curiously noticed how careful Jones had always been to never let anyone carry it for him or peek inside as he opened it. Yet, here it was, right in front of us, and not a soul wanted to be the first to touch it. The suitcase was battered yet smooth -- in the way only a truly old object can be. Its surface had been a dark brown once, but all the original color was long gone, leaving a deep tan. It was ribboned with tiny crevices and reminded me of the old man's skin . Slowly, I placed my hand on it, left it there for a moment, then removed it.