You explain your pathway to a positive life and share the many lessons you've learned. You instruct them on the specific steps they need to take. But, then, they ask the many what if questions. The person you arranged coffee with confronts you on the many issues overwhelming her. After hearing how you persevered and got intentional, she says, Oh that will never work for me. You attempt to help explain how simply it can work with anyone's life, but they keep beating down every solution with a different excuse. After over an hour of this back and forth conversation, you feel like no progress has been made. You may even feel like you've been a failure at communicating the idea. Young and adolescent children are very quick to think they are responsible for others' behaviors and feelings. It is critical you are clear this is a problem between you and your partner, not about them. How does this affect my life? A child's greatest concern is usually whether or not his or her parents will remain together. If as a parent you are not sure what may happen for your family, you can express your uncertainty and then commit to tell the children when you do know. But often what they are also asking or wanting to ask is more immediate and more specific to their day, such as, Will you be at my play performance next week? What about our vacation we were going on in two months? Will there be enough money for me to go to camp? How does this impact my birthday? Reassure them of their knowing about any change in routine and encourage them to ask such questions if they are concerned. He had stopped taking his stool softeners and couldn't believe how regular his bowels were. He also no longer had any more chest pain.

Six months later, Dr A repeated a stress test, and it was normal. Flow had normalized to all parts of his heart. The key to good health is sometimes eliminating, rather than adding. In order to subdue or treat a chronic illness, we must minimize stresses on the body that cause inflammation. One of the most important stresses on the body is the food we take in, which can have a lasting impact on the gut. Once we fix the gut, we begin to heal. Here, we will work on how we start the healing process. ELIMINATION #1: Remove Red Meat and Eggs From the Diet for at Least Three Months Do not beat yourself up. The sad truth is that few people will join you. You will have many who try, but many more will settle for an easier, lackluster style of living. They see the pains and struggles you went through for years upon years and they're intimidated. They can't come to grips with the reality that tremendous change happens over a long stretch of time. So, they walk away from your positive coffee conversation without any real intention to implement what they learned from you. Clay Clark, the founder of the Thrivetime Show, and one of the partners of my consulting job, realized this same thing. He had sold DJConnection. As a result, his methods worked and those businesses grew. So many people asked him for his assistance that his wife actually gave him the feedback that, Hey honey, maybe you should get paid for dramatically improving people's lives? Who else knows? It is important to discuss who else knows.

The disclosure itself should not become the family secret. Recovery is not about replacing one secret with another. Recovery is demonstrating healthy boundaries and being discriminating with whom one does and does not share. If other people know, prepare your children with an honest response to the questions and remarks of others. Are you sorry? Children need to hear and consequently come to believe that both of their parents are sorry for their hurtful behavior. Children need to know you are sorry and see you making whatever behavior amends you can. Making amends takes time. The first elimination that we would like people to work toward is meat and eggs. Start with red meat. By red meat, we mean all beef, pork, and venison in your diet, especially hot dogs and sausages. Plan to completely rid your diet of these foods for at least three months. This amount of time allows the gut to heal and healthy gut flora to return, but some people will need longer to heal. After the first six weeks of meat elimination, we recommend giving up eggs. For some, this will be harder to give up than red meat. Try to drop eggs completely for six weeks, and then, if necessary, add them back once in a while as a treat. The gut needs that time to heal. Eventually, we would like you to stop eating poultry (turkey and chicken) as well. So, he started a marketing and consulting firm that's gone on to be wildly successful. Clients grow, on average, 62% year-over-year, and many business owners see even crazier numbers.

Shaw Homes, Oklahoma's largest homebuilder, was a $30 million business before Clay, and in three years, reached over $80 million in total, revenues. Tip Top K9 was a dog training company that existed for nine years, stuck at the same revenue level. There were only two people in the company (the founders) and they wanted to make this business work for THEM, not work them to death. So after four years with Clay, they have turned Tip Top K9 into a thriving dog training school in Tulsa, Oklahoma (the headquarter location), and they have sold several franchise locations across the United States. Here's the grim truth again. For the thousand positive testimonials from clients who saw success, there are four thousand business owners who found the success insulting. They saw what it took and didn't want to buy it. It didn't matter how many testimonials and best practice examples you gave these business owners. Time and healthy new behaviors allow the possibility of genuine forgiveness to occur. It is not appropriate to ask your children to forgive you. Remember, this conversation is really about what is best for them, not about shifting the focus onto you. What is happening so that things will get better? Children need to be told about your recovery plans. If possible they need to know what both adults are doing to help the relationship and the family. You may only be able to speak to the immediate, but they need a sense of security that there is a plan so things could get better. As you consider whether to disclose your situation to your children, you may also find it helpful to hear what some children thought would have improved their disclosure experiences. A little humility would have made me feel better about my dad. Dad really let Mom do most of the talking. But this can come later. One step at a time.

Why is this elimination important? Recall that red meat and eggs cause the gut to produce TMAO (see article 40), which promotes plaque formation in the heart. Egg yolks are also very high in cholesterol. We also know that a vegetarian diet and a high-fiber diet are associated with decreasing TMAO. Recall that LPS is responsible for dysbiosis and a leaky gut and is found in abundance in many sufferers of chronic illness. Red meat, then, is a trigger for inflammation. What else do we know about the detrimental effects of meat? The salt in meat can be linked to high blood pressure. They still wanted success to be a snap of a finger. Here's what you should know, reader: When you reach a very successful place in life, you will notice pushback from those you try to help. And, no, this doesn't just mean monetary success. Remember, I consider you a good person if you live a very intentional life, a life that's dedicated to improving yourself and the world around you. Most people aren't living intentionally, and intentionality annoys them. When misery loves company, and you aren't part of their company, the miserable crowd resents you. Our consulting firm still helps out plenty of business owners, don't get me wrong. I have a catalogue of clients who I personally worked with for years and they saw tremendous growth. We've had business owners across the country thank us for the great work we do. I would have preferred he said more. Not so much detail.