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Too much stress can be toxic and inflammatory. Stress can be Learn to identify your eustress from your distress. Think about saying no to more requests during the week to allow time to relax and recover on weekends. Schedule fewer activities for yourself and your family to allow for more personal time. Learn to outsource where able. While eating, chew slowly. Eat small meals more frequently. Dr Peterson has been filling theaters with thousands upon thousands of people paying to listen to his lectures in person. That's right. People are paying good money to watch a man give a lecture on psychological principles. Millions of audience members are buying his thick article, 12 Rules for Life, and legitimately implementing the lessons found in the article. It's shocking to see how an unknown psychologist out in a Canadian university suddenly got bold, stood straight up in confidence (that's his 1st lesson in 12 Rules for Life) and took his passion into action. You'd be ignorant to say that Dr Peterson was apathetic with his life. Dr Peterson isn't the only figure to share wise knowledge online. The rise that we see with these instructional videos and informative interview podcasts online is awesome. You have Master Class lessons from giant, industry-leading individuals that you can receive lessons from. You have websites, like Lynda. You aren't setting boundaries to punish him, you set them to honor and protect yourself, to help you feel safe and confident so that you can heal. Whether the disclosure came as a surprise or was professionally mediated--or perhaps it was both--there are likely more additional issues to be attended to as a consequence of hearing the news.

There are often immediate problems that range from financial, to legal, to public exposure issues, etc You also have other areas of your life that need your time, such as work or school, raising children or even grandchildren, and other activities. It's best to take things one step at a time. Take a deep breath, ask for guidance, and do the next indicated step. Then breathe again, ask for guidance, and move forward again--one step at a time. Regardless of how you learn the news, it is vital to your health that you get tested for all sexually transmitted diseases. Even if you believe your partner had no physical contact with another person--because he was engaged in voyeurism, exhibitionism, or cyber sex--this step is essential. It's a healthy precaution, as you may not yet know the full extent of the acting out, and it may be more than he is telling you. This is another dark moment in the process of living with sexual compulsivity. Don't multitask while eating. Don't check your email every five minutes. Concentrate on checking only once per hour. Turn off computers, electronic tablets, and phones one to two hours before bedtime to allow the mind to calm down. See Figure 1: Eustress versus Distress (article 14) Chronic Illness Is Born What we know about illnesses and risk factors for illness that your body can tell us CASE 1: Patient HB is a 39-year-old man who is a physical education teacher in a high school. He weighed 326 pounds. When he came to see Dr A, his blood pressure was in the 190/70 mmHg range (very high). You have many Youtube channels solely dedicated to how the successful mindset works. Some Youtube vloggers, like Ryan Serhant, spend their time creating videos about their lives and the lessons to learn from their lives.

You have many podcasts on this topic, as well! It's wonderful and people are finding solutions to their problems by just implementing the strategies. But, wait a second. I might be too negative here. Do we really need more podcasts, more Youtube channels, more motivational speakers and more articles to convey these messages? I mean, we brought up principles from Dale Carnegie's article, How to Win Friends and Influence People, all the way in article 3. Don't principles like smiling more and being genuinely interested in others sound like common sense? I guess it might sound like common sense to me because I grew up very fortunately. Most partners say that being tested is humiliating, and for many it evokes incredible anger and despair. Nevertheless, your responsibility to yourself is a priority. This is a positive step in your self-care and your healing. Here I am looking at this questionnaire in the doctor's office. Do I use IV drugs? Do I have multiple sex partners? Do I practice unsafe sex? Do I engage in unusual sex? Then I see the Other box in which I get to write, My husband of twelve years has sex with prostitutes and then comes home to me. I want to scream. His LDL cholesterol was 160 gm/dL, and his triglycerides were 360 gm/ dL. He showed signs of prediabetes.

His EKG had already changed to show strain from the blood pressure. Dr A put him on blood pressure medications and an intensive diet. She put him on an exercise plan. He lost 100 pounds. His blood pressure came into the 120 mmHg range. His LDL cholesterol dropped into the 130 gm/dL range, and his triglycerides came down into the 150 gm/dL range (normal). He felt like he could keep up with his students and was feeling better. CASE 2: JS is a 45-year-old accountant who is morbidly obese with diabetes, hypertension, and atrial fibrillation (abnormal heart rhythm). I had both of my parents stay married growing up, and they are still together. That's an anomaly in today's world. Not only that, but they were loving and caring toward me. They continually told me they loved me and they're very happy whenever I visit them. I had successful people around me to give me nuggets of knowledge. Successful business people and ethical mentors in my life lived respectable, good lives. I got to observe how they lived, even if I was still a spoiled, lazy kid. Not only that, but my family members are all great. We have a network of family members that have, somehow, stayed connected for generations. In 2019, we had a family reunion of 180 people together in Texas! I want to die. I want to tear his eyes out.

And instead I hold my head up and act like this is an everyday occurrence. Funny, maybe it has been. I'm sitting in my doctor's office and she asks me if I'm okay, as obviously I don't look okay. My face is bloated and my eyes are red from crying and I tell her I need to be tested for STDs because my husband is a sex addict and I'm really not sure I know who he has been with. I then burst into sobs and she simply takes my hands in hers and waits until I'm done crying. Then, without any judgment but with great compassion, she tells me we will find out what we need to know. Shame and/or denial can prevent or stall you from being tested. You might be thinking, My partner would not engage in something that would cause me to develop a chronic or even fatal health problem. He had sleep apnea (intermittently using a CPAP machine to keep his airways open so he could get enough oxygen at night). He was a former wrestler and wanted to get back to it. He came to see Dr A for preoperative clearance to treat an injured toe. Dr A put him on medication to control his heart rate and manage his blood pressure. She insisted on the patient's compliance with use of their CPAP machine. She put him on a plant-based, whole-grain diet. He was the perfect patient. He lost 65 pounds, came off of some of his blood pressure medications, and decreased medication for his blood sugar. His heart rates were better controlled, and he felt great. Dr A sent him for foot surgery, and after the three-month healing of his toe, he started to wrestle again. All of these folks had the wherewithal to show up for events during the week, positively participate in the events and interact with each other in a friendly, kind manner. I went to private school all my life and had teachers who actually cared.