I got so preoccupied with my suspicions, and yet felt so defeated, so I sent threatening letters to the women I suspected he was with and damaged the possessions he seemed so fond of, such as his musical instruments and his car. The Body Knows One of the consequences of not acknowledging your feelings is the real possibility of health problems. Your autoimmune system can become severely compromised when you are undergoing emotional stress. After a few months in recovery, I was able to see how much I rationalized my feelings away and rationalized my trust in my husband. But by this time I was in a chronic state of physical pain. I had been going to doctors for the past couple of years and had a host of different tests. I was just given many different diagnoses and medical suggestions. Just as news aggregation sites supply a digestible overview of the latest happenings in politics and world affairs, we need more curators to sift through the latest evidence-based practices and practice-based evidence and present the best of it to us, and then to help us apply it to our individual physiology. This is another void that coaching can fill. Another useful resource is podcasts. Andy's Body of Knowledge and Barbell Shrugged podcasts, Radiolab, The Tim Ferriss Show, The Joe Rogan Experience, and Ben Greenfield Fitness are just a few of many that feature some of the world's leading scientists and top performance experts. The best place to start is to seek out a podcast host whom you consider a thought leader, or to check out the websites and social-media feeds to see which shows some of the experts have appeared on as guests. Still can't find what you're looking for? Ask your coach and training partners for guidance. Peaking vs. Another limitation of fitness tracking is that the technology doesn't understand your goals. If you're training to peak for a single event, the stimuli and recovery your body needs are different from those required to just get you to adapt--whether that means building muscle, improving endurance, or whatever your aim is. That means there are still at least 30% of the population who want a new commander and chief at all times. As honest Abe Lincoln said in one of his famous speeches, A house divided against itself cannot stand.

This is actually based on scripture where Jesus first proclaimed, Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation, and every city or house divided against itself will not stand. My parents also acknowledged that, with the internet, we have much quicker access to question the validity of statements. When someone claims something, it's now become instinctual for most to Google it prior to accepting the claim. Just think about how quickly reviews became a valid way to decide anything. According to BrightLocal, a search engine services company, 82% of consumers will read reviews before making a purchase decision. The average consumer will also read 10 reviews, and will often spend over 13 minutes vetting reviews and the product before making a purchase. When we have access to so much fact checking, we have more to read about whether a product really is legit. It's definitely better that we have this ability, but the consequence is we're now, culturally, way more skeptical about any claims, good or bad. Then I got into recovery and realized I hadn't seen a doctor in over two months, then three months, and then four months. Today I don't run from conflict. Today I know when I am angry. Today I don't keep that stupid smile on my face like all is fine with the world when I really feel as if my world is crumbling. Today I have no mysterious physical pains. Whether you know for sure that your partner is acting out sexually or not, you are living with stress. You are dealing with both acute stress and a more subtle chronic state of stress. Living with the fears of what it may mean to your marriage and your family if you acknowledge the sex addiction, and living with the suspicion that something is off in your marriage but not knowing exactly what, are both anxiety provoking. This stress is traumatic to your body. While you may normalize, minimize, and rationalize something in your mind, the physical body knows something is wrong. If you're targeting adaptation, you need to overload your body so that it recognizes the stimulus and responds to it by prompting muscle growth, improved cellular efficiency, and so on. During such an adaptation cycle, your resting heart rate or heart rate variability numbers might be screaming at you to stop and rest.

But to get the overload you need, you actually should train. The opposite might be true if you're trying to peak for a race, fight, or competition. In this case, relying on the one-size-fits-all algorithm of a machine could very well give you the wrong advice, compromising your goals. This is another area where coaching comes into play. Decades of experience and gut-level understanding of your motivation and physiology will enable a seasoned coach to tell you when to push and when to back off. Metrics can help, but the big picture encompasses far more than the numbers alone. The Master and the Apprentice Back in the day, there was no such thing as a hack or a crash course. We're less trusting. So, if we can't trust people, who do we trust? Ourselves, I guess. Who's Glenn Villeneuve? This guy is an interesting fellow, because he deliberately chose to live in the wilderness. He's been a frequently featured subject on the show, Life Below Zero, lasting on the show for several seasons. It wasn't his motive to be on the big screen, but that came as a by-product of what he does. As a young man, he had a calling to live in nature, out in the wild. He talks about how, at thirteen years old, his mom just let him venture out into nature on a long walk through what's called The Long Trail, a 272 mile footpath going across the state of Vermont. He'd always been fascinated by nature and he asked himself a peculiar question. When it's in jeopardy, be it physical or psychological jeopardy, the body mobilizes its defenses. Stress can trigger the body's response to perceived threat or danger, called the fight or flight response, which generates the release of certain hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol that speed the heart rate, slow digestion, shunt blood flow to major muscle groups, and change various other autonomic nervous functions, giving the body a burst of energy and strength.

Originally named for its ability to enable us to physically fight or run away when faced with danger, this response is now activated in situations where neither response is appropriate, like during a stressful day at work or at home. When the perceived threat is gone, our bodily systems and chemistry are designed to return to normal function via the relaxation response, but in a state of chronic stress, this adjustment often doesn't happen enough, causing damage to the body. When a machine is operated at maximum speed, the sustained high speed pushes the mechanisms past their limits or begins to burn out the elements. Our bodies and minds will react the same way. When pushed past their limits, they begin to break down. Pretty soon things start to fall apart. In this process, as a consequence of our stress, the autoimmune capacity is lower, rendering us more vulnerable to illness. THE IMPACT OF STRESS If you wanted to learn how to do something well, you studied for years under a master in the craft, whether that was thatching roofs, laying bricks, or forging iron. The same is still true in martial arts but, sadly, in few other walks of life. While many of the trades that apprentices learned a couple of hundred years ago have vanished or are heading that way, the coach-athlete relationship offers one way to recapture the lasting benefits of learning from a master. From Mr Miyagi and Daniel in Karate Kid to Yoda and Luke Skywalker in the Star Wars saga to Frankie Dunn and Maggie Fitzgerald in Million Dollar Baby, we're drawn to tales of someone older imparting wisdom to his or her young protege. Perhaps this is appealing because so few of us have experienced the benefits of such a partnership. With technology, it's now easier than ever before for masters to keep their apprentices accountable. A fitness tracker is impartial and doesn't care who you are--it records that either you did the same workout as your teammates or you didn't. Andy's mixed martial arts coach has his athletes text him photos of their resting heart rates each morning, knowing that a huge spike means that either the previous day's load was too great or the fighter hasn't recovered sufficiently to go right into another similarly demanding session. He has developed this intuition by working with dozens of fighters over many decades. In such a scenario, technology can play a role in the master-apprentice relationship, as long as it's used with restraint and purpose. How could I actually make a life like this? Glenn Villeneuve carrying his next meal.

It doesn't get asked by many people today, but this man was devoted to this mission. In his mid-20's, he worked to build savings, cut off as many expenses as possible and spent several years learning what it takes to live and survive in the wilderness of Canada. He would learn answers to questions like: How do you fully utilize all the parts of an elk for survival? How do you best cook and use the bones, meat and even eyeballs for consumption? How do you keep warm in temperatures as low as 40 below zero? How do you prepare and stock meat for the winter? How do you add variety to your very limited diet in the wilderness? During this time in the wilderness, he wanted to strip away everything he could depend on and simply depend on the land. Critical factors that affect the impact of stress are twofold: how far your system is taxed and for how long. Some stressors may occur only once or a few times but their impact is so great that trauma takes hold. Rape, an accident, or an assault may fit this form of trauma. Other trauma experiences may be less acute, but they happen every day and the hurt accumulates. In a coupleship, little acts of degradation, manipulation, secrecy, and shame on a daily basis take their toll. The body knows. Many cognitive conditions are caused or exacerbated by stress. They include: Common illnesses and physical symptoms associated with stress are: Today when I have sleep problems or when a headache begins or when my back begins to hurt, I know it can be something organic, but knowing what I know about me, I use it as a warning that I may be in over my head with stress. The True Meaning of Mentorship Fitness technology can measure many of our physical qualities.