She used every opportunity to tell Abigail how stupid and worthless she was. Depressed and beaten down after years of abuse, Abigail found it hard to hold down a job. Without a job, she had no hope of gaining her independence. Abigail told me that her grandmother was a churchgoing woman who was heavily involved in charity work. Everybody thought her grandmother was a saint. She told me how furious she felt that no one else recognized how horrible her grandmother truly was because she only acted that way behind closed doors. The American, Robert Croft, a military instructor in the navy, whose job was to teach recruits to get out of a submarine in difficulty on the seabed, developed his ability to hold his breath within the framework of his duties. Training took place in a water tower above the ground, thirty-six meters high, in Groton, Connecticut, a long way from the sea. The Italian, Enzo Maiorca, on the other hand, had an approach both athletic and human, which seemed to be founded on self-knowledge and an understanding of his own limits. When holding your breath, he said, you end up by assuming your exact own size, making your suit fit perfectly. When he is below water, the freediver sees himself in the depths, where he can, if he wishes, make a true X-ray of his heart and soul. The Frenchman, Jacques Mayol, was apparently the only one to maintain a real elementary dream, less about staying human in a foreign milieu than about melting into it, and becoming a dolphin. In Homo delphinus, the masterpiece that he compiled over many years, he sums up the path that seemed to have become his destiny: Research into the diving reflex in humans. I am deeply convinced that this reflex, which we have from our origins, and which it should therefore be possible to bring to the surface again, even partially, from our genetic memory, is in total harmony with nature and excludes any artificial procedure. Where Robert Croft imagines trying to escape from a submarine with his lungs as full as possible, and thinks of breathing according to the model of a military resource; Jacques Mayol looks for relaxation and what is natural, following the model of the dolphin. Sometimes this means brainstorming and being prepared ahead of time. Other times, you'll have to learn to Be Creative on the spot. Let's tackle Step 4 of the Yes Is the Answer philosophy--Be Creative. The best Yes leaders spend time brainstorming with their teams about foreseeable conflicts or dilemmas, and developing strategies for dealing with them before they occur.

Remember, practice makes permanent! Just because you know the four steps in your mind, doesn't mean you know them in your mouth. The only way to ensure you will respond positively is if you practice the strategies you've established with each other. Create the potential scenarios that are relevant to your hotel, business, or organization and role-play them; The more you do this, the more comfortable and confident you will be when the real-life situation eventually presents itself. Back in 2011, I was the Director of Fun at the brand new and highly anticipated KeyLime Cove Indoor Waterpark Resort (I know, lucky me! Why does life have to be perceived as so hard when in essence it can be so easy, so fulfilling and so much fun? If your life is an I can't wait to get over this event, then it's time you woke up to the truth. Chances are, you are a responder and are affected by your environment instead of being an activator and taking charge and affecting your environment. For the more control you have over your life, the more secure and happy you feel. That control begins with your decision to know exactly what you want for your life and taking focused action until you achieve it. Unless you do so, you're bound to go through life merely trying to dodge the obstacles and jump over the hurdles that the circumstances of life throw your way. You've got but one life to live, and it is right now. Think back to how much precious time you've wasted and experiences you've allowed yourself to miss, just because your mind was focused on getting over a particular event so you could feel better about your future. It's time to make your life an I can't wait to experience it! Make conditions serve you. Abigail said that she found my name after searching for answers on the internet and discovering NPD. She wanted to know if her grandmother did indeed have narcissistic personality disorder. I told her we would definitely explore that possibility together Imagine being unable to feel love or care for anyone but yourself--to never feel responsible or remorseful about anything you do to others--to be unable to relate to or empathize with others' experiences--to regard everyone as objects of self-indulgence, not worthy individuals.

That is the mentality of someone with narcissistic personality disorder. If you find it hard to fathom such things, you are in the majority--you have human empathy. Your mind cannot possibly assimilate the distorted thinking of the pathological narcissist. It may be easier for you to understand it this way. Narcissists are parasites in the same way ticks, fleas, mosquitoes, and leeches are. They spend every waking minute finding and keeping captive hosts to feed on. A dream of difficulty overcome as opposed to a dream of facility, a dream of survival or human performance as opposed to a dream of becoming an animal. Who is right? Who is wrong? That is not the question. You don't have to judge the value of an imaginary system by its measurable output, nor reduce a dream to the role of adjunct to the sporting performance; Someone who imagines himself as a dolphin will be as happy as a fish or, rather, a whale, in water. Man, Jacques Mayol wrote, will never die as long as he is able to dream. And the dream of Homo delphinus will live for as long as man protects the sea. For Mayol it was dolphins; Two years after her serious moment of melancholy at the Festival de La Roque-d'Antheron, the culmination of a depressive period in which she lost all pleasure in life and in playing, she had an unlikely and extraordinary encounter with a Canadian female wolf called Alawa. During our opening weeks, even though I had trained all 654 opening team members in the Yes Is the Answer philosophy and proactively addressed every situation we could think of, it wasn't long before we started getting various requests from our guests that we hadn't thought of. It's probably fair to say that not everybody who checked in that week felt they had received legendary service during their stay. But you know what? We didn't see this as a failure but rather as an opportunity.

We documented each one of the no obstacles we encountered and brought them to our daily huddle in order to brainstorm Yes solutions. One of the biggest issues that came up over and over again had to do with the bell carts. Let me explain. The resort was vast with 414 guest rooms, multiple retail shops, restaurants, spas, a water park, and more. It was far too large of an establishment to let the guests take the bell carts at will, which so many of them wanted to do. For one thing, the bell carts were the livelihood of our tour guides (bellmen), who needed them to assist guests and earn gratuities. Think strongly. Attempt fearlessly. Accomplish masterfully. CIRCUMSTANCES? I MAKE MY OWN! People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them. Make your own circumstances. That sounds too easy. This primal survival need drives everything they do. Nothing else matters. Every behavior, conventional or abnormal, is related to that desperate pursuit, as is every manipulative word uttered. Pathological narcissists, like buckets with holes, never sustain anything gained.

They cannot be satiated or satisfied. Favors done for them in the past do not endure. The only thing that matters is what they can get in the moment. Nothing makes them happy, nothing brings them joy. The behaviors exhibited by all narcissists in the pursuit of the three A's, admiration, adoration, and attention, are remarkably similar. Their techniques are as varied as the unique experiences and personalities of each individual, but the nuts and bolts are the same. When she touched her, I felt this sudden spark, a discharge through my whole body, a single touch but which spread through my whole arm and chest and filled me with a kind of softness. Just softness? Yes, coming from her imperious way of being, and drawing out a mysterious song from me, the call of an unknown, primordial power. She had this strange fur, with very long hair, and intense yellow eyes, and in her company I felt happy, whole, absurdly young and strong. This was in 1991 in Tallahassee, Florida, and from that moment on, nothing would ever be the same. Grimaud developed a passion for wolves, deciding she must know everything about them and opening a refuge for them. Thanks to wolves, she reconnected with her own intuition, and rediscovered a form of immediacy that she had lost through plunging herself into endless analysis of musical pieces, instead of playing them. A few years later she became an icon, the pianist who runs with wolves, but she didn't care: she knew they were far more than just an accessory to her success. She knew there was an instinctive bond between them. Additionally, how would we ever keep track of who had a cart, given how large the property was? This was a real stumper. Many times, associates feel they must choose between policy and customer service. Even I, the Yes Is the Answer lady, was struggling with how to resolve this!