If I could will it, I would die now--in midsentence, ironically, with the best part left unsaid. You can go now, Hadley. You done good today. Gordon Stuart died ten days after this interview, at home, with Hadley Eliot in attendance. Hadley Eliot told me: Gordon died a good death. He was clear right up to the end. He had fortitude and character and died as he lived, very much his own person. He was no less angry, not accepting at the end, but he kept his sense of irony, his way with words. One of the archetypes of female sexuality in Western culture is the pop ingenue, a highly sexualized yet innocent female creation who has not reached adulthood. One of the archetypes of male sexuality in Western culture is the impossibly muscle-bound male who dominates women and narrowly escapes explosions. Examination of both would likely reveal sources of wounding for both men and women in terms of sexual restrictions and patterning. When we become conscious of the societal roles and archetypes we are bound by, we are no longer restricted by them and move beyond blind, emotional reaction and struggle in relation to them. We may also find that we are holding onto an archetype that we should have outgrown. If we inwardly still feel like a small child who wants to hold her teddy bear, that inner child could use some healing and to be initiated into positive adolescence or adulthood. Pick an archetype that you wish to work on (or are reactive to in the outer world), then ask the body deva where it is held within your body and to show you the corrupted archetype. Much like the initial visualizing of the body deva, or working with restrictions, you would create an image of what that archetype looks like, where they are, what they are wearing, and what they are doing. You would then inquire as to ways that this archetype may be informing your existence: How is my association with this archetype creating restriction, pain, or suffering? All these concerns are valid and have to do with developmental deficits that result from childhood trauma, but these issues can be addressed at the onset of the group.

A solution is for DID therapy groups to be facilitated by a therapist who has experience in treating DID and who is able to set very clear goals and boundaries regarding the purpose and structure of the group. Good, responsible treatment of DID must focus on helping clients to develop coping skills that will help them to manage current stressors and live in the here and now, with an eventual decrease in the amount of switching, self-injurious behavior, and the overall use of dissociation as a defense. Too much emphasis on the past can keep a person unnecessarily stuck and can put her in a role where she feels so emotionally dependent that she is unable to meet her own needs effectively. Another solution is to run a trauma group, as opposed to one that is specifically for clients with DID, because therapists who treat DID are actually treating trauma issues. A trauma group will address issues shared by clients with many different diagnoses, including PTSD, DID, BPD, and DDNOS. The mix of diagnoses can actually help group members focus on the management of their trauma symptoms rather than attaching a lot of meaning to a particular diagnosis, which tends to be more productive in the long run. A trauma approach to therapy acknowledges that it is trauma, in general, that leads to dissociation, as opposed to one particular experience that is shared by all dissociators. Some of the advantages of group therapy are subtle. For example, a person can benefit just by listening to others. This final article is a reminder that life is always moving toward healing. We each carry underdeveloped parts of ourselves that long to be acknowledged and healed. They may show up as judgments, betrayals, breakups, or one of a million other challenges that we face. Healing needs only your openness and willingness, because life loves you. If you're open to unlocking any insights when you experience a loss, you are on the right path. And if you're not, life will still bring you the lessons you need to find healing. Although you may misinterpret these lessons as a type of punishment, they are just part of the experiences of life. Letting Go of Judgment and Resentment Penny had been in Hollywood for three years, and she was sure she was going to be somebody. She had come from a small town in Iowa and had moved to California to study acting when she was 23. Mediation is like D because meditation is quite like Deepak Chopra.

If you are feeling worn out or down, Deepak Chopra can help you light your way. He can put you on course to have the most brilliant of days! Here is what the Dalai Lama has to say to the D of Meditation: If a person's basic state of mind is serene and calm, then it is possible for this inner peace to overwhelm a painful physical experience. Meditation Is Like E Mediation is like E because meditation puts you in touch with your inner energy and with your eternity. It fuels your fire and it gives you new depths to see! Here is what Edgar Caye says to the E of Meditation: Meditation is listening to the Divine within. Meditation Is Like F Great leaders, great creators, great parents, great partners--all great human beings have to learn to do the same. There is a right time to say wow, and a time to ask how. We need to learn the right response at the proper time. Now, fifteen years of marriage later, Kate has learned how to help keep me dreaming, and I've learned, thanks mostly to her, the value of a plan. We can't build a plan without spending time with how people, getting answers to questions about how something will work. How people have the extraordinary ability to peer into the future and see all the potential problems, which is a valuable superpower when leveraged appropriately and at the proper time in the creative, innovative process. To succeed, we need both wow and how. I believe the trick to balancing both is to allow the wow part of the process to breathe, without rushing on to how too quickly. This often comes down to awareness. Specifically, the awareness of the words we use and the awareness of which step of the creative process we're in. We can exist outside of our own lives and partially in someone else's.

But we shouldn't. Man, this is a struggle. There's so much opportunity to compare who we are to who someone else is, or where they are in life to where we are, or what they've done with their lives to what we've done. It's so easy. It's at our fingertips daily. But we cannot do this. We cannot spend a second in comparison mode. We cannot think about looking at what others are doing or where they are or what they've done. We have to stay in our lane not only so we can do what we're here to do, but so we can appreciate where we are, love who we love, and focus on our purpose. It's dark and comforting, like a womb. The noise of the world drops away. It feels like a light bulb moment. The clear knowing stays with me, a persistent voice that doesn't fade away. It feels like an inner beacon. My gut feels calm and clear. I feel light in my heart. It's resonating. I tune in to myself. I feel clear. Your cancer diagnosis and losing your church community are reminders of this isolation.

They have caused you to face this fear as reality, and you know how painful it feels. And because you know this pain, is there a way to use this knowledge for connection, rather than loneliness? Do you think there are others who feel lonely, where you might find connection? Heather: I never really thought about it that way. I don't really know some of my neighbors. One of them rarely gets out; I bet she must feel pretty lonely, too. I could give her some of the flowers I'm growing in my garden. Therapist: That sounds like a good starting point. He seemed to grow into whom he wanted to be. His death confirmed his life. If you weren't there, you would say the death of a thirty-three-year-old man just beginning his career was a tragedy. But for those of us privileged to be there, tragedy is the wrong word. Anyhow, it's a word Gordon hated, thought it maudlin; He was a model for me. I would wish to do the same for my own death. The Killing Fear of Death Julian Davies is a sixty-three-year-old architect who has suffered his second heart attack. He was well until shortly after his fifty-ninth birthday, when he began to experience anginal pains. How does this archetype limit me?