This is a sign of emotional maturity and healthy integration of the body, mind, and spirit throughout all the layers of the aura. It is a sign that they don't hang on to personal judgments or grudges and no longer identify with the inner bully. They have a deeper sense of safety and trust in the universe and that everything is transpiring for their highest good, even if it doesn't feel like it in the moment. The celestial layer of the aura has pastel rainbow colors that look shimmery as they move. It is more refined in frequency than the vibrant rainbow colors seen in the emotional layer. DIM OR BRIGHT COLORS In general, the more vibrant the colors in the aura are, the more health and well-being are experienced in that area of the body. The darker or more washed-out the colors are in a certain area, the weaker or more blocked the energy is. But we must do what feels right for us and be confident in the decisions we're making--our happiness depends on it. Don't apologize for evolving past someone else's comfort zone. That is the quote that helped me get over those who judge me simply because of the need to feel good about themselves and their narrow assumptions. We cannot allow the haters to define us or get in the way of our success. But we must not ignore their comments either. My Strategy for Managing Criticism These are four things I like to do when I hear people judging or criticizing my actions: Listen: First I listen to what they have to say and pay close attention to the words they use to talk about my life, my choices, my projects, or me. Some assumptions will be downright ridiculous, but others may help us understand that we are not perfect. There is always room for improvement, and considering these unsolicited suggestions is when we get the most vulnerable. Any little provocation can quickly lead to an explosion. Don't mistake the content of the argument for the cause of the argument.

You can waste hours, even years, debating an issue on its merits, on its content, but never bring an end to the argument because the content, the issue, was not the cause or the driving force in the first place. The cause of the struggle, usually, has almost nothing to do with the content of the argument. Because the struggle so rarely stems from the content, the remedy is not to be found in learning how to argue fairly, or in taking a course in successful negotiation, or in learning to bite your tongue. Those kinds of remedies miss the underlying cause. The underlying cause is most often a feeling of being insufficiently loved, respected, or tended to. In today's crazy-busy, distracted world, couples commonly feel a lack of love from the other. It is also common when there is more to do than time to do it, when people are overloaded, that civility declines, even between people who love each other, so that each member of the couple feels disrespected. Most of the time, ongoing conflict in couples is driven by a feeling of deprivation, a feeling that I am not getting what I need, want, and deserve. Our seats were in row 30, and as we neared the entrance to the plane, I realized that the wheelchair was going to be too wide for the aisle. So we did what my new role dictated: I left the wheelchair at the entrance of the plane, grabbed on to Ken's shoulders, and he hauled me to our seats. As I sat waiting for the flight to take off, I was annoyed that the bathroom in the airport wasn't handicap-accessible and that the airline hadn't provided me with a narrower wheelchair to get to my seat. My irritation increased when I realized that I shouldn't drink anything on the six-hour flight because there would be no way for me to keep up the act and use the bathroom. The next difficulty arose when we landed in London. Once again, Ken had to carry me to the entrance of the plane, and when the airline didn't have a wheelchair waiting for us, we had to wait. This little adventure made me appreciate the daily irritations of handicapped people in general. In fact, I was so annoyed that I decided to go and complain to the head of Air India in London. Once we got the wheelchair, Ken rolled me to Air India's office, and with an overblown air of indignation I described each difficulty and humiliation and reprimanded the regional head of Air India for the airline's lack of concern for disabled people everywhere. Of course he apologized profusely, and after that we rolled away. The colors you have an aversion to can also indicate the aura layers or chakras you have a weaker connection with or the parts of yourself you have yet to fully embrace. The colors of the aura are of such a pure and vibrant saturation and quality that I rarely get to see in the physical world.

Experiencing them is a joy I never tire of. I feel it's an honor to explore the swirling cosmos within ourselves and others. Becoming adept at reading the colors in the auric field made me more comfortable with myself and others. It is helpful to use a nonjudgmental space of exploration as you feel into the colors of your aura. This will allow you to experience more of the information stored in the textures and shades of your energy and emotions while creating space for them to move out of your aura. In the next article we will look at the chakras in your aura that help you take in and move energy, as well as the many forms of energy healing that support the structure of your aura and physical health. AURAS AND ENERGY HEALING Y ou were born with a self-healing ability, and through the use of various energy healing methods, it can be awakened within you. Is this true? I ask myself. It is important to be very honest with ourselves when trying to answer this question. I try to leave my initial rage aside--trust me, no one likes to hear criticism--and I answer that question without fooling myself. Even when the comment is coming from a negative place, it is important to define what percentage of it is actually true. Create distance: I think for a moment about the person expressing the opinion. Where do they come from? What kind of work do they do? What kinds of choices have they made? What kinds of struggles, if any, have defined their life? That leads the couple to lash out at each other, which of course intensifies the feelings of deprivation. A vicious cycle sets in.

Person A and person B have not been paying much attention to each other. Person A starts to feel unloved, so she attacks B. B, who also feels unloved, reacts by attacking back, which makes A feel even more unloved, which leads her to attack B even more harshly, which, naturally, leads to a nasty counterattack by B upon A. And so it can go, often for years on end. Unfortunately, due to pride or even simple lack of awareness of true feelings, people don't come right out and say, I feel neglected. I need more from you. If you can learn to speak those simple, straightforward words, you can prevent many struggles. And when you hear those words, if you can learn not to react defensively, you can avoid even more struggles. The odd thing is that throughout the process I knew I could walk, but I adopted my role so quickly and thoroughly that my self-righteousness felt as real as if I had a legitimate reason to be upset. Then after all that, we got to the baggage claim, where I simply picked up my backpack and walked away un-hampered, like Keyser Soze in the film The Usual Suspects. TO MORE SERIOUSLY examine self-deception, Zoe Chance (a postdoc at Yale), Mike Norton, Francesca Gino, and I set out to learn more about how and when we deceive ourselves into believing our own lies and whether there are ways to prevent ourselves from doing so. In the first phase of our exploration, participants took an eight-question IQ-like test (one of the questions, for example, was this: What is the number that is one half of one quarter of one tenth of 400? After they finished taking the quiz, participants in the control group handed their answers over to the experimenter who checked their responses. This allowed us to establish the average performance on the test. In the condition where cheating was possible, participants had an answer key at the bottom of the article. They were told that the answer key was there so that they could score how well they did on the test and also to help them estimate in general how good they were at answering these types of questions. However, they were told to answer the questions first and only then use the key for verification. After answering all the questions, participants checked their own answers and reported their own performance. In this article we will explore the broader field of energy healing to give you a greater understanding of how your aura is powered through the function of your chakras. You will learn about a few of the most common methods that energy healers and energy practitioners use to bring the aura back into balance.

We will delve into details about each of the seven chakras. This will give you a basic foundation and understanding of your chakras and valuable ways to support your energy before we move into aura healing in article 5 . Energy Healing Energy healing is the practice of accessing energy from within and around the body and channeling it to bring greater healing and balance to ourselves or others. This life force energy has many names from different cultures and traditions. China it's called chi (qi ). There is extensive charting and mapping of the movement of chi through energy channels that dates back many centuries. knowledge is used today in Traditional Chinese Medicine, most commonly known as acupuncture. What is the intention behind the comment: is this person giving me constructive criticism because they want the best for me? Or are they trying to make me feel unworthy so they can feel better about themselves? This information will allow me to better understand where the comment comes from, and it will help me create a healthy distance between me and the words spoken. I'm less likely to take it personally when I understand the context. Make a choice: Will I listen and change the way I do things based on this comment? Or, will I keep doing the things I'm doing because I believe so much in myself that I can't wait to prove this person wrong? Either way, the answer I choose has to be a growth-based decision, not a fear- or comfort-based one. If I decide to change, it would not be in order to please others or avoid further criticism; But, if I decide to keep pushing in the same direction, it's not because I'm stubborn or comfortable but because I trust that I'm secure in my hustle and doing the best that I can to achieve the results I desire. Take action: Use criticism relentlessly as fuel to become an even better version of yourself and prove those who doubted you wrong--and yourself right. A famous skit on the Bob Newhart TV show sums up nicely how we, as therapists, often wish we could resolve this struggle. It goes something like this: