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Keep in mind that emotional discipline starts first thing in the morning, when you wake up. That is when you create the opportunity to set the standard for your day, by saying, I am happy, I am blessed, I am joyful, I am alive, and nothing will stop me from embracing this day. Get in touch with someone you haven't been in contact with for a while. Write them a card, email or text just to let them know you were thinking about them. Send a surprise gift to a friend. When you find something you know a friend would like, don't wait for a birthday or Christmas, send it now. Be thoughtful. Did your colleague have a bad day today? Bring her a coffee tomorrow morning. Let your partner watch their show. And don't roll your eyes or huff and puff about it. Be generous when tipping. Spread the word. If you know someone who decorates or cleans, is a plumber or a gardener and you could recommend them, let others know. Invite people out. Ask someone to do something nice with you - the cinema, a show, a walk, a meal. Respond to texts and emails. Even if you have to say `Just to let you know I got your email and I'll get back to you later/tomorrow/next week.' People like to know they're not being ignored. In a supermarket queue, let the person who seems rushed go in front of you. I have a lot of rules built up by now: "My keys only go on the front table." "Check and make sure the hose is out of the gas tank before I drive off." "Check my pockets before I go to the prison." Eventually these rules become habits, which is the desired goal, so that I don't have to think about them or remember them.

It takes time, repetition and consistency to make a rule a habit, and there will be slips. Just keep going. It's best to focus on only one, or at most two new rules at a time, until they become habit. Then you can begin to work on another problem. I'm a little concerned about how all these rules, habits and compulsive behaviors might sound to you. Do they sound constricting, like I live in a straight jacket, and am always worried about everything? I still remember when I was in the second grade, quite a long time ago. I know what they're teaching in health these days; believe me, they weren't teaching those things back then. I remember one passage in our health book particularly, talking about the importance of trimming toenails. It admonished, "Many a stocking has been torn by an untrimmed toenail!" I laughed so hard that I got in trouble (ADHD?). A picture came into my head of this prim little old lady writing this in the 1800's. Nowadays we would say, "Get a life!" I never thought about my toenails. I guess if they needed trimming my mother did it for me. And the idea of having any concern at all about "a torn stocking" struck me as incredibly silly. I was eight years old and I had a lot more important things to worry about than torn socks; that was way down on my list of priorities. So I'm hoping that you don't have that kind of reaction to all these rules and sayings and habits. Of course, I'm not talking about torn stockings; I'm talking about driving off with the gas hose, or into the visitor's car. And if you have ADD, or live with someone who does, I'm guessing that you won't have that reaction. Research consistently shows that regular physical activity is one of the best things you can do to manage persistent pain. Starting or maintaining physical activity when pain is present can be a challenge.

It can be motivating to remind yourself of the benefits of exercise that are especially important to you. It may be hard to watch thoughts in this way, noticing when there is a stream of thinking or there are no thoughts at all. In this case it may be helpful to imagine yourself on the bank of a river watching the water flow by, sometimes gently and slowly, and at other times, faster and with force. If the river is like the mind, then individual thoughts are like twigs or leaves floating on the water being carried into your field of awareness and then passing by. Occasionally you can get "hooked" and caught up in a stream of thoughts, until recognizing that this has happened and coming back to watching thoughts flow by. (In Yoga, we rarely use metaphors, as they can drive conceptualization and thinking. However, metaphors can be useful when encouraging distance and perspective from our thinking because this can be difficult without such imagery.) About one third of your life may be spent sleeping. You know how it feels when you aren't able to get the quality or amount of sleep that your body needs, but what's actually happening inside the body while you sleep to help you feel energized and awake the next morning? After many years of research, there are solid theories about why sleep is important for the mind and body; however, there are still some aspects of sleep that remain a bit of a mystery. This chapter will summarize the current science around how and why people sleep, and will offer strategies for a better night's sleep. Sleep quality can change pain perception. A good night's sleep allows you to tolerate more pain and keep doing activity. Sleep also affects how easily pain is triggered. Pain is designed to keep you alert for danger, while sleep requires a feeling of safety and relaxation. It can be very hard to get the right amount and type of sleep when you are living with pain or going through changes to your health. Insomnia is a common sleep disorder that affects up to three out of four people who have persistent pain. Insomnia means having difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep or waking up too early. There are many types of insomnia, from mild, temporary episodes of not sleeping well to longer and more severe sleep problems. Sleep problems can add to the suffering that comes with persistent pain. Insomnia can lead to having more pain, emotional distress and difficulty with doing daily activities, that's why finding ways to get a better night's sleep can have a positive effect on pain.

The good news is there is a lot you can do to manage insomnia through making changes to your thoughts and your actions. It's motivating to know your reasons for putting effort into sleeping better. You may simply value sleep for its own sake, as a relaxing and restorative part of life. Or, you may value the way that sleep helps you to move towards other things that matter to you. For example, a better night's sleep might give you the energy you need to do a favourite hobby. I always thought that sleep was kind of a waste of time. I often stayed up late doing other things that seemed more useful or interesting. But I can see how having better sleep could give me energy to do the things I want to do, like helping my kids with their homework. While the teacher will initially instruct participants in the first few weeks of the program in the training of focusing and directing attention to primary foci (bare attention), in the latter weeks, she will gradually guide the broadening of attention toward a receptive stance of open-monitoring (also known as open awareness or choiceless awareness). Again, this is a practice of being receptive to all sensations as they come, persist, and go. Thoughts and emotions are treated no differently than other sensory foci and are described as events or sensations of the mind. Part of open-monitoring means sequentially tracking one's experience as it arises and passes, both internally and externally. Lastly, this will include an awareness of how one is relating to one's experience, whether that is with reactivity, equanimity, or indifference. And when noticing getting caught up in thoughts or lost in thinking, stepping back, and observing as best you can these thoughts as mental events. Watching them arise, stay for a while, and pass, to be replaced by other thoughts. I can't locate myself in time - This is hard to describe, but if you have ADD, you might know what I mean: "This is December; Christmas must be coming? How far off is it? Is there something after that? What's happening next year? Is there anything I need to be doing to prepare for it?" I can't remember time - My brain records whatever is happening but doesn't attach the date to it.

Was that last year, or three years ago? Was it in 1984 or 1994? Maybe because I'm not located in the time, as above? I use calendars to help with some of these problems with time. They help me locate myself. I try to prioritize, to help avoid wasting time. And I focus on one thing, so I won't feel so rushed and pressured. I'll tell you about the fifty percent rule next chapter. Time is an important and difficult issue for us ADDers. It causes us a lot of trouble. An appointment book and lots of calendars are examples of strategies that can help us cope. Occasionally our feelings can overtake us, but there are steps we can take to overcome them. By shifting the way you see something, it's possible to turn obstacles into breakthroughs for success. According to Hara Estroff Marano, creator of Psychology Today's Blues Buster newsletter, you can choose any of a number of strategies to work with your feelings. Here are two of the most essential and effective ones that you can access through your mind.2 Mental Reframing: By changing the way you see something, it's possible to turn setbacks into opportunities for success. When you find yourself in a difficult emotional situation, focus on the opportunities in it as well as the risks. An argument, for example, provides a chance to learn something about relationships and the different ways people see things. Emotional Kung Fu: In the Chinese art of self-defense known as kung fu, the aim is to use any attacking force to your advantage. You don't fight the attacker; you redirect their energy to accomplish your goal. Be polite on the road; be kind to other drivers.