Date Tags support

There is apparently an optimum amount of therapist participation. Telschow devised a measure of discord in groups and showed that the amount of discord is a function of the amount of participation on the part of the therapist. The therapist is not a passive member of the group; If he withdraws too much, discord mounts, and exploration of feeling becomes more precarious for members of the group. Kimberly Dark, sociologist, author, and storyteller, dramatizes it brilliantly in her performance piece, Things I Learned from Fat People on the Plane. Fortunately, she jokes, she's been doing yoga for thirty years, so she can get one leg up on the wall and pee standing up. Sadly, most people--fat or otherwise--cannot. Those bathrooms weren't accessible for Dark--and she's not alone. Imagine if public restrooms were available only for women. Imagine how challenging--perhaps impossible--it would be for men and people of other genders to have a life and venture out in public. That's what trans people face, daily. Now the hotly contested issue is whether trans people should have the right to use the bathroom that represents their true gender. Let's be clear about what's really going on. Anti-trans bathroom laws aren't actually about privacy or the risk of sexual assault--they are about trans people's right to exist in public space. Once you identify which kind of emotional eater you are, you can learn techniques to avoid falling into the same old trap. Emotional Eating Eating feels good. It activates the pleasure centers in your brain, so it can distract you when you're feeling anxious or worried. When you find yourself swimming in a stormy sea of negative emotions, a glazed donut can act like a life preserver to keep you afloat. But food is a quick fix without lasting benefits.

Once the food high of a binge wears off, you're left with the same stressor . Unfortunately, this fix can become an addiction with serious consequences, so we need to fix the emotional reason you turn to food to break the cycle. Follow these steps to free yourself from the habit of emotional eating: Trap the Emotion. Below is a brief excerpt from a group therapy session, illustrating nicely how members of the group can make it difficult for a person to continue to carry a theme to full exploration. Miss Bell: Well, I don't have too much of a social life here. I know a few people, but I don't go out much, because I'm not particularly interested in dancing and things like that. Mr Lewis: M-hm. What do you usually do for fun and relaxation? Miss Bell: Oh, I go to movies and read. Leader: M-hm. Miss Bell (laughing nervously): And I play cards sometimes -- that's about all. Mr Lewis: I hope you take a cocktail once in a while. Group: (Laughter. When we can't use public bathrooms, we can't spend prolonged time in public. This means we can't work, go to school, access health care, engage socially . We can't exist out in the world. Consider, too, the plausibility of the fear that has been raised: the idea that men will disguise themselves as trans women to sneak into women's bathrooms and sexually assault women. First, remember that sexual assault is illegal, even if trans people are allowed to use bathrooms that correspond to their gender identity. Trans bathroom protections do not legalize harassment, stalking, violence, or sexual assault.

Moreover, there's no evidence that these crimes increase with passage of trans bathroom bills. Media Matters debunked that myth, confirming with experts and officials in twelve states and seventeen school districts that enacted protections for trans people that they had no increase in sex crimes after their policies were implemented. Research has shown that transgender people are frequently harassed or physically assaulted while trying to use public restrooms. Providing legal protections will go a long way toward ensuring safety for all. If you're an emotional eater, the bingeing is a symptom of a negative emotion. The next time you find yourself looking for a food fix, hit PAUSE. It's an opportunity to use your emotion-radar skill to get to the feeling behind the impulse. Tune in to your physical sensations: Do you feel the heavy weight of sadness? The flutter of anxiety? Map the Emotion. Map the emotion to the circumstance in which it showed up. Was it when you were angry about something your spouse said? Anxious in a social setting? Try to identify the specific thought feed behind the emotion. Miss Bell: Yes, I do. Mr Lewis: Well, are -- are you interested in meeting people? Miss Bell: Yes -- I, ah -- (Pause. Mr Harding: Do you think you are going about it in the right way? Miss Bell: What? Mr Harding: Do you think you are going about it -- (Interrupted.

Miss Bell: No, I know I'm not -- because I know I don't put forth any effort to -- to that -- Mr Lewis: Well, of course, those things -- ah -- it's peculiar, isn't it, always that, ah (clears throat) you're not going about it in the right way, but you can't go about it in the right way because something is stopping you -- I had a very interesting experience along those lines one time. Last year, as a matter of fact. A boy, a nineteen-year-old boy, (clears throat) living near me, was schizophrenic, and he was making a very fine adjustment. There's historical irony in the knowledge that some of the most intense civil rights battles have been fought over the right to pee. The US civil rights movement fought for the end of prohibitions against Black people using white bathrooms. The disability rights movement mobilized around access to public bathrooms. And the feminist movement spoke out against employers' failure to provide enough bathrooms to accommodate women in the workforce. Consider my struggles at my local gym. Given the binary option of either a men's or women's locker room, I feel coerced into misgendering myself and choose the women's, where I'm frequently subjected to glares, stares, and the occasional obnoxious comment. One time, when I was in that locker room complaining to a friend about the situation, another woman piped up with But you look like a woman, I don't get why people would hassle you. I understood her intent. She was trying to comfort me, to be helpful, but she didn't see that she was adding to the hurt. I don't want to look like a woman, to pass. Zap the Thought. Challenge those thoughts that fuel your emotional eating. Here are some common emotional eating thoughts and some ideas on how to challenge them: Thought: I need this food to feel better. Thought Zapper: That's not true. Food only gives me a fake, short high.

When that wears off, I'll be back to feeling the same negative emotion. Thought: I do feel better after I eat it, so it must be working. Thought Zapper: That's not true. Eating simply activates the pleasure centers in my brain, so it temporarily blunts negative emotions. And then he went off the deep end. And, ah -- and very -- enlightening to see him try to do things and want to be able to go out and do things and not be able to. As I say, it's not a case of-- that he didn't want to. He just couldn't -- (clears throat) Well, that's the situation with you, isn't it, Dorothy? Miss Bell: No. Mr Lewis: Well, there's something stopping her. Although the therapist must actively follow the developing feelings in the group, and express his understanding and acceptance of what is said, he cannot be so active as to dominate the group. Our practice has been for the therapist to delay his responses slightly, to give the group members an opportunity to take the role of therapist. If, as often happens, some member of the group picks up the feeling and responds in such a manner that the speaker can continue his self-exploration, the therapist remains quiet. But if some important feeling goes unrecognized or if members of the group make continued expression difficult by denying the feelings of a member, the therapist must come in. I want to be seen. If public spaces don't welcome or accommodate your body, it's because our culture has decided that your body is not supposed to exist there. THE THIRD PLACE WE'RE NOT ALLOWED TO BELONG IS TOGETHER First, we're not allowed to be ourselves or belong in our bodies. Then we're not allowed to take those bodies out into the world. So how are we supposed to meet each other, know each other, or be ourselves with each other?