What's the one thing I have in my toolbox--however small--that I can use to gain some leverage on this problem? Sadness I've lost something. Have I really lost this thing/person? Guilt I've violated someone else's rights. The third test, Fleming's Sociometric Test, asks the child to name two persons in his group with whom he would and would not like to do things. The therapy subjects were four boys and three girls between the ages of eight and one-half and eleven and one-half years. All were residents of a children's home, and were selected because they, of forty-six children tested, made the worst rank scores on a combination of the three measures. Sixteen children left the institution before the end of the study and were therefore not retested. The remaining twenty-three children received no therapy but were tested twice and hence served as controls. The experimental group of boys did not improve significantly more than the control group. This was in agreement with the therapist's judgment of poor rapport in therapy. The girls' group improved significantly more than the control group on all three indices. This, too, was in agreement with the therapist's impressions of the therapy contacts. However, these results cannot be taken entirely at face value. There are other things to consider, such as the knowledge that one is well on the path to achieving one's life goals. Happiness is a choice. What else is a choice? Your perspective. Wherever you point your energy at, that's where it will go. Aim it at negative and all you see is negative.

Point it at positive and you focus automatically at positives. This is a powerful way to bring happiness in to your life. No matter how cliche it sounds. It's the truth. What do I think I owed this person, and would I expect them to give the same thing to me? If not, why the double standard? Embarrassment I've lost standing in someone's eyes. Other people are more concerned about their own image than they are about mine and/or Other people can't see what's going on for me internally. Shame I've broken my own standards. What do I expect from myself? Is it a realistic, human-capacity standard I've set for myself here? Do I believe others have to live up to these standards? Instead, he employed the skill of TMZ. Identified his familiar anger signals (clenched teeth and a strong desire to start barking and yelling at the responsible party). First, experimental design utilizing a control group requires that control and experimental groups be equated for initial status, in this case, maladjustment scores. This may be accomplished by matching pairs, matching total groups by means and standard deviations, or random assignment of cases to each group. None of these methods was employed by Fleming and Snyder. They used as controls those children left after the most maladjusted had been selected out for therapy. Hence, the controls were, by definition, less maladjusted. In the second place, sound procedure requires that the experimental and control groups be treated as nearly alike as possible, except for the experimental variable -- in this case, play therapy.

The clinic at which these children were treated was ten miles from their institutional home. Thus, twice a week, for six weeks, the experimental group was treated to a long ride and a chance to visit away from the confines of the institution. The control group had no such experience. Hence, improved adjustment scores, when found, might be due to play therapy itself or to the outings which were incidental to it. The power of subconscious is real. Believe in optimism! Many people focus on things that could go wrong rather than things that could go right. That's because it is easier to worry than stay optimistic. Many would worry too much, What if the thing that I ate make me sick? I didn't like the taste of that drink, maybe it has parasites that'll make me sick? What if it's flu? What if I have a sick that could kill me? Before you know it, they're already sick because they talk their way into it. Why not focus on positivity? Mapped the feeling to the violation-of-rights thought, which in this case went something like, What is wrong with this guy? He's preventing me from getting my work done! Zapped the thought. Eric asked himself, Is this person really violating my rights? Am I really more entitled to quiet than he is to watch TV? That zapped it;

In a calm, composed state, Eric went downstairs and talked to the front desk manager. Even though the hotel was fully articleed, the manager appreciated Eric's patience and worked a little magic to find an open, nonadjoining room to accommodate him--something that likely wouldn't have happened if Eric had roared and ranted at him. Behold the quiet power of calm. By the way, just because you have a finely tuned violation-of-rights radar doesn't mean your rights are never violated. Thus there appears to be no unequivocal interpretation of the results of this study. Needed Research It is apparent from this summary of existing research that much remains to be done. One of the more pressing needs is for follow-up study of a large number of cases, at regular intervals. Instead of repeated follow-up studies of a relatively small number of cases, it might be more fruitful to re-study some cases after six months, others after one year, still others after two years, and so on. In this way, a larger sample of cases might be tapped without adding enormously to the research burden. A second area of needed investigation is that of the assessment of personal adjustment before and after therapy. The only existing research in this area, that of Fleming and Snyder (60), is concerned with group therapy. A beginning study of personality outcomes of individual play therapy by means of objective and projective tests is now under way at the University of Chicago, but the results are not yet in. As in adult therapy, the problem of experimental controls looms large. On the positive outcomes! Perfect health, perfect wealth, happiness, abundance? You get to choose where you point and spend your energy, choose wisely. Bonus article: Obstacles to positive thinking Thinking positive thoughts but not doing anything about it Positive thinking is not mindless dreaming and wishing, then sitting around waiting for it to be dropped in your lap.

Positive thinking is knowing that you can dream and then take steps to achieve that dream. The dream is possible only with positive action. Believing that positive thinking means nothing bad will ever happen to you Positive thinking means facing up to your fears and finding solutions. As we said, nine times out of ten they're probably not, but there is that one time in the ten. Even then, once you recognize that your anger (or whichever of the other Big 7 Emotions you experience) is justified, you can neutralize it and respond from a calmer place. Say, for example, a cab driver takes you on an unnecessarily out-of-the-way route. Having the self-awareness to distinguish that, yes, you actually are being taken advantage of is phenomenally powerful, because it neutralizes the zing of the emotion. Now it's just a fact--the driver is looking to make an extra few bucks off you--rather than a feeling clouding your ability to deal with the situation at hand. Your anger may be real and justified, but it's not helping you in the situation; You take the charge out of it and can then address your violation of rights in a clearheaded way. When it comes to stress, emotion regulation is its own reward. Even if you get to the point after employing Trap It, Map It, Zap It where you realize you're stuck with the problem, you're still in a better place because you've short-circuited the knee-jerk connection between thought and emotional reaction. Where before you might have felt defeated, now you'll view the situation from the more peaceful vantage point of acceptance. Matching methods are notoriously weak, for they fail to cover motivational variables. The use of a control period, as Bills (24, 25) has done, is an improvement in this regard. However, its assumption of control and experimental periods as equivalent except for the variable, play therapy, may not always be tenable. By far the most satisfactory method of experimental control is the random assignment of cases to experimental and control groups. This method requires a pool of candidate cases twice as large as the number actually to be seen in therapy. For this reason, it is not always practical.